2014/2015 Season off the wall prediction thread

Might be fun to go out on a limb and put in writing one prediction that most people will probably question your sanity over.

Here's mine:

Borini will score 10 goals this season and 5 assists.

that would definitely help Sunderland stay up for another season.

Luis Van Gaal will be sacked after The Scum finish 10th.

Burnley to finish in the top half

Henderson will net double figures in the league.

Henderson will net double figures in the league.

The 'Champions' League

The 'Champions' League

I like the way this guy thinks

I like the way this guy thinks

Hopefully he'll knock in 'La Decima' against Madrid.

Hendo will captain England

Suarez gets bitten,


Oh wait.....?





YNWA

Skrtel doesn't score a OG !



YNWA

I predict that Kolo Toure will go on a nosebleed run from the heart of his own box, beat every player on the park (including his own) with several FIFA Maracana style moves; he will then race towards the opponent's goal before flicking the ball up and over his head and performing a magnificent overhead kick and scoring...






Into his own net.

At which point Brendan will race onto the pitch, grab him by the ear and drag him off like a naughty schoolboy and will be seen spanking him over his knee as Kolo cries and begs for forgiveness. Whilst this is happening Flanno will hit a first time volley from kick off that rockets into the top corner as the Kop perform the Macarena.

I got little sleep last night so my creative juices are suffering somewhat

Skrtel doesn't score a OG !



YNWA

Come on, mate. I know it said off the wall and all that but that's outrageous!

Agger and Sakho to play 90mins together and keep a clean sheet. Come on BR, Prove us all wrong... I dares ya

Mignolet to score a bikey in the last minute of the cup final then we go on to win it!

Raheem Sterling to be accepted as the best player in the league this season. Winner of players player etc. Agree with Rodders, Henderson to get 10 goals in the Prem.

Jose Enrique will get over 5 assists this season.

Because of the lack of a season realistically prediction thread I'll have to post this in here.

We WILL win two pieces of silverware this season.

In the interest of adding to this thread.

Simon Mignolet will win the golden glove.

Raheem Sterling will be sold next summer, to barca.

Luis Suarez will bite Gerrard in the 78th minute of the CL final as the teams are drawing 2-2 giving LFC a penalty and a 3-2 win.

Raheem brace wins the Southampton game 2-0.

Luis Suarez will bite Gerrard in the 78th minute of the CL final as the teams are drawing 2-2 giving LFC a penalty and a 3-2 win.

How freaking awesome would that be

Borini will be the best scorer of the league.

Gerrard will score 10+ goals excluding penalties.

Mignolet will win the golden glove by 5 clean sheets more than the second.

Markovic will have a value of 60+ mil by January.

federer will praise every "Joseph" Allen performance this season.

Torres will comeback to Liverpool on the transfer deadline 

He will regain his scoring abilities and score against Chelsea

Kolo will forget to smile, Armageddon will finally happen!

Coincidence, I think not.

The Main Stand and Upper Centenary will join in with the songs!

Skrtel to get 10+ (Not own) goals this season.

Sturridge playing full season.

Can be better than Yaya.

Mignolet will play in the league and Reina in the champions league.

Johnson plays better at the back than attacking.

Suarez to badly flop at Barcelona, and score less than 20 goals.

Man City to finish 5th, Liverpool being the hardest team to beat, Diego Costa to flop also to be banned for spitting at someone, Mourinho doing something mad like the eye gouging in Spain, Suarez falling out with Messi big time, Sterling to be players player of the year, All Liverpool fans enjoying the season and choosing not to go on Debbie downers in match day threads...
   Van Gaal getting fined for saying something about either refs or about opposition team/ mad interviews, Van Persie banned for violent conduct, Liverpool to win the Champions League and league title, Hazard to be sh*t, Aguaro and Sturridge battle for top scorers.
... to be continued, this is fun.

Rodgers will take a page out of Low's book and be the only EPL team to play 4 CB's across the back (Skrtel--Lovren--Sakho--Agger). Our goals against will be 24.

Gerrard will tip Hendo to be the next LFC captain by the time the season ends and he (Jordan) bags 11 goals and 14 assists.

Markovic and Sterling will become best friends of the field due to their relationship and similarities on it as they combine for 43 goals and 27 assists between the two of them.

We will beat the scum in our first game against them by 4 goals and Louis Van Gaal will blame it on the American preseason tour while criticizing his superiors and completely avoiding the fact that we had the same preseason tour.

Jose Enrique and Pepe will combine to say 62 "Can" jokes before Emre breaks both of their legs in a practice match.

Sturridge will end the season as the leading goal scorer in the EPL and will donate his golden boot award to the Fight To End Cannabilism charity he starts.

Suarez to badly flop at Barcelona, and score less than 20 goals.

Eats Messi's kid and is banned from football forever!

Gerrard will tip Hendo to be the next LFC captain by the time the season ends and he (Jordan) bags 11 goals and 14 assists.

Jose Enrique and Pepe will combine to say 62 "Can" jokes before Emre breaks both of their legs in a practice match.

Can see Hendo and Can having a straightener in the changies over who is the most Handsome Liverpool Player, no face shots allowed, obviously!!

Can see Hendo and Can having a straightener in the changies over who is the most Handsome Liverpool Player, no face shots allowed, obviously!!

Can rips Hendo's ears off by accident during the fight only to then realize that his weird ears were the only thing holding him back from being a model. Can thinks he's dug his own grave and lost the battle for most handsome, but in a sudden plot twist Hendo thanks him and runs off to start his modeling career working for the Cristiano Ronaldo clothing line.

Suarez then bites another player in Spain and requests a transfer back to Liverpool on the cheap in hopes that Can will rip his weird ears off as well.

Can rips Hendo's ears off by accident during the fight only to then realize that his weird ears were the only thing holding him back from being a model. Can thinks he's dug his own grave and lost the battle for most handsome, but in a sudden plot twist Hendo thanks him and runs off to start his modeling career working for the Cristiano Ronaldo clothing line.

Suarez then bites another player in Spain and requests a transfer back to Liverpool on the cheap in hopes that Can will rip his weird ears off as well.

He'd have to fight Flanagan to be first in the queue!!

We wont concede any own goals this season

We will beat the Scum 0-11 in Old Toilet with all starting 11 scoring a goal each including a Migs bicycle kick.

Luis Suarez goes to collect his runners up Champions League medal and then proceeds to watch Stevie G lift ol' big ears for the second time in his career.

I predict that Kolo Toure will go on a nosebleed run from the heart of his own box, beat every player on the park (including his own) with several FIFA Maracana style moves; he will then race towards the opponent's goal before flicking the ball up and over his head and performing a magnificent overhead kick and scoring...






Into his own net.

At which point Brendan will race onto the pitch, grab him by the ear and drag him off like a naughty schoolboy and will be seen spanking him over his knee as Kolo cries and begs for forgiveness. Whilst this is happening Flanno will hit a first time volley from kick off that rockets into the top corner as the Kop perform the Macarena.

I got little sleep last night so my creative juices are suffering somewhat

Cracking effort tho' mate.

Sterling to silence the Nou Camp.

Cracking effort tho' mate.

Cheers, pal!

Pepe to bite Suarez

Loic Remy to be top scorer.

Spurs to beat Arsenal to top four.

Sterling to net 20 league goals + Lallana to flop big time

Loic Remy to be top scorer.

Spurs to beat Arsenal to top four.

Not a bad shout that one.

Jose Enrique will get over 5 assists this season.

I'm not sure you understand the thread buddy - Enrique done that in 2012/13 and had two assist in only 604 minutes last season. 

My predictions: Sakho and Mignolet will be dropped [not just 'rested'] at some point during the season. 

We get fifth place and the mancs start laughing at us... until we take their fourth place champions league spot by winning it 

I could never have predicted that without moving off the couch I have so far this year managed to achieve my lifetime ambition of getting fitter than Loic Remy and winning as many Tour de France titles as Lance Armstrong.