UNrealistic Expectations For the New Season

Just for fun!

Post your hopes, most optimistic predictions, or even outright made-up bollocks (just imagine you're Bigmick! ) for the forthcoming season.

Personally, I reckon Joe Allen's beard will keep growing at an alarming rate. During a tense encounter at Old Trafford, the score is 1-1. Rooney has a chance to score the winner, but slips on Allen's facial hair, allowing Milner to nutmeg the rest of United's team and score a 97th minute winner.

Brendan tears off his suit in delight and does a Jose knee-slide in front of the outraged home fans.

You heard it here first!

Lucas gets a goal.

Enrique recovers from his RSI injury from being on Instagram.

SOD decides to honour Pascoe and brings the shorts back out of retirement!

Chelsea its 2-1 to the blues, Sturridge pops up and draws it level in the 90th minute, then in the 92nd minute Sakho rises to score a towering header then unduly runs over to John Terry who has been left in a heap on the floor, lobs out his cock and slaps terry around the face with it 3 times and says how's you like that you racist c**t ?

Gomez plays 3 games and wins young player of the year!! 

Gomez plays 3 games and wins young player of the year!! 

Be honest. How much did Fed pay you?

We get a clean sheet at Stoke.

Be honest. How much did Fed pay you?

 

I thought his progress was universally loved and everyone thought he was the new Rio Ferdinand/Bobby Moore?

We win at stoke, win all the tough away games before xmas
Gomez plays all 11 positions in one game and scores a hattrick
gary mac comes out of retirement as a one off and scores a late winner at goodison

Joe Allen pulls a Sampson and goes from strength to strength as the beard and hair grows

We don't win the League.

Unbeaten and traveling to Etihad for a top of the table clash on Nov 21

Flu spreads through the team prior to the derby wiping out the team so Gary Mac has to tog out and scores the winner with a 50 yard free kick! 

the flu thing is the unrealistic bit!!

Beckenbauer, Maradona and Pele tragically pass in a FIFA PR exercise but there is a god and they are allowed to come back to earth just like a Tom Hanks film. They possess the bodies of Skertl, Henderson and Origi and we win the league by 25 pts with a goal difference of 200+ and sell all 3 for 2.8 billion next season, after the three superstars have returned to the astral plane.

We get Messi on the winter transfer for free.... Man city pay his salary for us.

Winning the Euro or Lotto jackpot during the season

Dwight Gayle doesnt score against us.

We get a clean sheet at Stoke.

Clean sheet?! No thanks.... We're going to tw*t them 6-1 

I get to see a game.

I get to see a game.

This for me as well

Harmony and goodwill breaks out on the forum , oh and corbally gets a short reprieve  .

Win the Champions League.

WIN F***ing EVERYTHING.

Ahem, sorry, not sorry.

Having a striker that gets in to double figures??