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      Family Guy Appreciation Thread

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      Court LFC
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      Family Guy Appreciation Thread
      Jul 06, 2008 12:13:34 am


      Just for you Family Guy lovers. You can get a load of Family Guy quotes from HERE

      I'll start us off.

      Lois: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these new sheets, huh?
      Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl.
      Lois: Hehehe...that's me.
      Peter: You dirty hustler.
      Lois: Hehehehe...
      Peter: You filthy, stinky prostitute.
      Lois: Aha, ok I get it...
      Peter: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking whore.
      Lois: Alright, that's enough!

      :D :D :D
      « Last Edit: Jun 04, 2009 09:42:15 am by Court LFC »
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #1: Jul 06, 2008 12:16:26 am
      Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
      Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
      (They all drink.)
      Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
      (Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
      Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
      (Only Quagmire drinks.)
      ****About 33 drinks later****
      Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
      Quagmire: Oh God.
      (Quagmire takes a drink.)
      Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
      Quagmire: Oh come on!
      (Quagmire drinks again.)
      Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
      Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #2: Jul 06, 2008 12:36:32 am
      Now I can quote between either Peter, Cleveland, Joe or Quagmire.

      So I'm going for Quagmire.  (I hope that clears it up.)


      Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
      Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
      Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
      Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
      Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
      Quagmire: Fifty bucks.


      Now still, you must find a quote with Quagmire WITH or WITHOUT any other Characters.

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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #3: Jul 06, 2008 12:38:21 am
      Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #4: Jul 06, 2008 12:42:24 am
      Quagmire (with a trashy girl on his arm): Hang around little guy, I'll be back later (he winks).
      Stewie: Oh very well. I suppose I'll go and pump the chemical toilet. (Eyes the trashy girl.) apparently, you're about to do the same.
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #5: Jul 06, 2008 12:45:14 am
      Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
      Stewie: What did you just say?
      Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
      Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bi*ch.
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #6: Jul 06, 2008 12:46:39 am
      Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #7: Jul 06, 2008 12:48:47 am
      Meg (about Peter being retarded): I can never go to school again!
      Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation, not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no, it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #8: Jul 06, 2008 12:50:07 am
      Peter (In Asiatown): Oh my God it's Jackie Chan! (Asian guy walks away)
      Peter (to next Asian guy): Oh my God it's Jackie Chan! (Asian guy again walks away)
      Peter (to another Asian guy): Oh my God it's Jackie Chan!
      Jackie Chan: Great to see I have a fan! Oh my God it's Ethan Hawk!
      Peter: No I'm not.
      Jackie Chan to Chris: Oh my God it's Ethan Hawk!
      Chris: Nope.
      Jackie Chan to Meg: Oh my God it's Malcom in Middle!
      Meg: Im not a boy!
      Jackie Chan: Yes you are.
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #9: Jul 06, 2008 12:52:31 am
      Lois: Peter, theres a hooker on the bed!
      Hooker: Hi.
      Peter: Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based on movement.
      (Pause)
      Hooker: Where'd you go?
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #10: Jul 06, 2008 12:57:27 am
      Lois: I'm gonna go get some oranges Stewie. Here, hold the rest of these bags for mommy."
      Stewie: Oh, what brilliant parenting Lois. Leave a tiny infant with a plastic bag. You know I might asphyxiate myself just to teach you a lesson. Here I go. Just like that boy from INXS..(Stewie tries to put bag over top of his head.)
      Stewie: I'm going to do it! (Tries to put bag over left side of his head then climbs into it and tries pulling it over his head.)
      Stewie: BLAST! Good Lord Lois, either I was a c-section, or you're Wonder Woman!
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #11: Jul 06, 2008 12:59:20 am
      Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #12: Jul 06, 2008 01:02:39 am
      Stewie (talking on Sesame Street phone): Put me through to the Pentagon!
      Ernie: Do you know what sound a cow makes?
      Stewie: Don't toy with me Ernie! I've already dispacted Mr. Hooper, I've got 6 armed men stationed out side Big Bird's nest, and well as for Linda, well, its rather difficult for a deaf woman to hear an assasin approach now, isn't it?!
      Ernie: Can you count to three?
      Stewie: Oh indeed I can! (Pulls out a raygun.) One! Two! Three! Can I count to three for God's sake?! I'm already shooting at a fifth grade level!
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #13: Jul 06, 2008 01:03:57 am
      Lois Griffin: Come on Stewie, don't be afraid. It's just water, it's not gonna bite.
      Stewie Griffin: Shut up! I know it's not going to bite, stupid! What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron! It doesn't have to bite you
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #14: Jul 06, 2008 01:06:02 am
      Brian: Hey, do you hear that?
      Peter: What?
      Brian: Sounds like someone's screaming.
      Peter: What? What is it boy? What are you trying to say?
      Brian: It sounds like Loretta is screaming.
      Peter: Trouble at the old mill?
      Brian: What are you insane?
      Peter: Somebody fall through the ice?
      Brian: It's summer.
      Peter: Bobcat?
      Brian: RURURURURURU!!!
      Peter: Loretta's in trouble?! Come on boy!
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #15: Jul 06, 2008 01:06:47 am
      Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
      Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
      Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
      Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
      Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
      Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
      [Pause]
      Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #16: Jul 06, 2008 01:08:33 am
      (Joe falls out of his chair and is about to fall farther into the sewer when Lois catches him.)
      Lois: I can't hold on much longer!
      Joe: Lois, pretend I'm one of your children!
      (Joe starts to slip)
      Joe: Not Meg!
      (Lois pulls Joe to safety)
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #17: Jul 06, 2008 01:11:34 am
      Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
      Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
      Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup.
      Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
      Brian: That's Street Fighter.
      Peter: Red, blue, green...
      Brian: Those are colors
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #18: Jul 06, 2008 01:12:32 am
      Judge: I'm sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
      Lois: Oh no!
      Brian: Oh no!
      Chris: Oh no!
      Meg: Oh no!
      Kool Aid Guy: OOOOOOOH YA!
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #19: Jul 06, 2008 01:14:34 am
      Peter: It's a beautiful baby girl!
      Carol: Oh, a girl! I'm so happy!
      Peter: But it has a penis. (Picks up scalpel.) I'll take care of that.
      Lois: Peter, No!
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #20: Jul 06, 2008 01:15:14 am
      (Peter, Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland are using a radar to listen to what people are saying and they happen to pick up of what Quagmire is thinking to himself.)
      Quagmire: God this itches! I wonder who I got it from. Probably that skank that I gave a ride to the gas station. Last time I do someone a favor. Oh God! They heard me! Oh god! I heard me! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!"
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #21: Jul 06, 2008 01:18:46 am
      Brooke: Quagmire, will you accept this rose?
      Quagmire: Really? After I drugged you and had sex with your unconscious body?
      Brooke: What?
      Quagmire: Yes.
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      Re: Family Guy Assosiation Thread
      Reply #22: Jul 06, 2008 01:24:39 am
      Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
      Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!

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