Martin Skrtel will kill you. [Martin Skrtel Facts]

You know there's that saying  : " you can take the man out of the city but you can't take the city out of the man "

.....Well Martin Skrtel can take anything out of a living person ...including organs and let them live .

That's not true, Niks.

Martin Skrtel can only take out his own organs and still be alive.

That's not true, Niks.

Martin Skrtel can only take out his own organs and still be alive.

True ....but if he gives them mercy then anything is possible !

One more Cheesy

Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano were thinking of leaving Anfield. Martin Skrtel looked at them. Now they are signing new deals.

Im hoping this one might have some truth to it soon Tongue Grin

Reckon if Skrtel and Kyrgiakos collided the world would end and scientists could analyse the new big bang. Liverpool training is a dangerous place.

Proof that Kyrgiakos could take Skrtel. He looks kind of mildly amused.

The Incredible Hulk makes Martin Skrtel angry.

Martin Skrtel actually doesn't defend , the balls come near the goal but are too afraid to go in

Martin Skrtel once kicked a hoarse in its chin. Now its descends are called giraffes.

Martin Skrtel's E-mail id gmail@martinskrtel.com

Martin Skrtel punched Godzilla in the face to end his reign.

Martin Skrtel is what you've really been hit by, struck by.

Joe Cole was caught speeding but not many know Martin Skrtel was responsible. He challenged Joe to a race on foot against his Audi and was too far ahead when the Police spotted the lads.

Martin Skrtel plays RCB and LCB.

They say if you look at Martin Skrtels eyes at a certain angle, your head explodes.

Martin Skrtel could burn a Quran and no-one would complain.

Martin Skrtel was the first Beatle.

Martin Skrtel doesn't need me to tell you how dangerous he is - you either know it or have already been eliminated.

Martin Skrtel can give you the finger whilst wearing mittens.

The entire Borg collective were assimilated by Martin Skrtel, resistance was futile.

The Andorian Mining Consortium runs from no-one - except Martin Skrtel.

Mrtn Skrtl doesn't need vowels, he just puts them in for our benefit.

The universe is expanding to get away from Martin Skrtel.

Gravity doesn't exist, everything just falls before Martin Skrtel.

Dark matter is just stuff that is hiding from Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel loaned money to sub-prime mortgage applicants and made a profit.

Martin Skrtel could pick Lucas and Poulsen together and we wouldn't complain.

Martin Skrtel went back in time, killed his own grandfather and survived.

Mystery Inc. investigated Martin Skrtel and he got away with it.

All UFC fights are for second place.  Martin Skrtel is the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

When Martin Skrtel takes a horse to water, it F***ing drinks.

Martin Sktrel can teach an old dog new tricks.

Martin Skrtel can lick his own elbow.

Martin Skrtel went back in time, killed his own grandfather and survived.

Futurama? 

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Martin Skrtel could pick Lucas and Poulsen together and we wouldn't complain.

at last!!! I'm not the only one that think about it!! (but please don't tell Martin!!)

Skrtel was having sex on a tractor, as he ejaculated some went into the engine bay- We now have Optimus Prime!!!

Martin Skrtel's E-mail id gmail@martinskrtel.com

That is hilarilous- I choked on my coffee!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtel

I've just seen this forum for the very 1st time and I'm in absolute hysterics!!
  thanks everyone  

I liked this pic, hope you don't mind, but I had a play about with his eyes.

I've just seen this forum for the very 1st time and I'm in absolute hysterics!!
  thanks everyone 

Don't laugh.  Martin Skrtel knows where you live.

Oops, thanks for reminding me TKIDLLTK, now I'm panicking 

Martin Skrtels defending is killing me.

Martin Skrtels defending is killing me.

touche

The truth is, no one has ever spelled Martin/Martyn/Marten Skrtel/Skittle/Skertel's name correctly.  There is a reason though, for if his name is ever spelled correctly, then the writer of the name would gain full control of Skrtel, which is supposedly the first sign of the apocalypse.

Modern Warfare 2 Rangers Victory Theme

This song is played whenever Martin Skrtel leaves the bathroom.