Martin Skrtel will kill you. [Martin Skrtel Facts]

You don't attempt to hand Skrtel the facts; he takes the stats from you

Very good Bert. Or Ernie.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Skrtel
Skrtel does not sleep. He waits
Skrtel is the reason Wally is hiding
Skrtel does not get frostbite. Skrtel bites frost

His Brilliant!

39. Martin Skrtel does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them
41. He invented Cessarian Section by roundhousing himself out of his mother


Had me in stitches which skirtle wouldnt have even flinched at

 That has made my day. 

Martin Skrtel doesn't play hide and seek as Martin Skrtel doesn't hide from anybody.

haha, that's awesome

There is no ctrl button on Martin Skrtels computer, Martin Skrtel is always in control.

Apple pays Martin Skrtel 1.69everytime he listens to a song.

Martin Skrtel can kill two stones with one bird

Martin Skrtel doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is

Hahah this is brilliant, had me laughing the whole time.

Martin Skrtel ordered a Big Mac in Burger King. And got one.

When Martin Skrtel does push ups he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the earth down.

Martin Skrtel destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Martin Skrtel is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Martin Skrtel can slam a revolving door.

Martin Skrtel counted to infinity - twice.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Martin Skrtel.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Martin Skrtel has allowed to live.

Apart from writing an angry letter, the UN has threatened Kim yong ill

with Martin Skrtel

Thrill seekin kids have now binned the ouija board

They now use the Skrtel Board

John Connor tried to rid Skrtel in some molten lava....

Martin got out his Back scrubber and shampoo

Martin Skrtel is well mannered and has only farted once
That put a hole in the ozone layer

When Martin Skrtel looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.

Martin Skrtel can unscramble an egg.

Martin Skrtel Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade

Matin Skrtel beat the sun in a staring contest

Martin Skrtel was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.


 

Cheers for bumping this thread!

I've just been reading through it again, some brilliant posts.

Cheers for bumping this thread!

I've just been reading through it again, some brilliant posts.

Agreed this is one of my favourite threads.

Outer space exists because it's scared of being on the same planet as Martin Skrtel.

Martin Skrtel doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Martin Skrtel doesn't breath, he keeps air hostage.

Dogs never barks at Skrtel , he barks at them

Superman wears Martin Skrtel underpants.

In Skrtel's garden, the rain's going up.

Dogs never barks at Skrtel , he barks at them

So it's Skrtel barking next door to Gow's place not the dog. See if you can get a signed framed photo for me Gow. 

Skrtel doesn't sign autographs.

Pens sign Skrtel.