Martin Skrtel will kill you. [Martin Skrtel Facts]

Martin Skrtel rates Lucas.

That's why we all do.

Martin Skrtel is susceptible to hearing Adryan's posts.

Been nice knowing you buddy.

.

Earlier I wanted to post here saying

" Liverpool FC doesn't lose games, Martin Skrtel does".

but then I thought it made no sense.

Martin Skrtel secretly has sex with every woman in the world once a month, they bleed for a week as a result

Martin Skrtel secretly has sex with every woman in the world once a month, they bleed for a week as a result

Oh that's so rank but so funny

so very funny we love the man we call igor affectionately in oor hoose

Jesus can walk on water but Martin Skrtel can swim through dry land.

Martin Skrtel's calendar goes from March 31 to April 2. Nobody fools Martin Skrtel!!

martin skrtel can delete the recycling bin

Martin Skrtel can divide by zero.

I still love this picture. Never fails to give me a giggle!

well that was a right good read, i was pissing myself laughing all the way through! well done starting this thread adryan, defo one of the best on here (aside from the genuinely good footy chat ones of course)

Brilliant thread, had a great chuckle throughout!

Martin Skrtel wird dich töten, mit seine Hoseschlange

 

Skrtel counted to infinity - twice.
* When Skrtel does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
* Skrtel is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
* Skrtel doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Skrtel can slam a revolving door.
* There are no races, only countries of people Skrtel has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* Skrtel's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* When taking the GRE, write "Skrtel" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Skrtel grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Skrtel doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* It takes Skrtel 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* Skrtel once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Sorry if they have been posted before .

Martin Skrtel doesant believe in condom's . . . There is no protection from Martin Skrtel

The world wont end in 2012. It wil end when Martin Skrtel tells it to. 2012 the film was infact a true story of what will happen if the world does not continue to realise that Skrtel is the beginning and Skrtel is the end

At the end of king kong what the guy was ment to say was "no it wasnt the planes. . . It was Msrtin Skrtel" but Skrtel thought the actor was un worthy of saying his name so he slide-tackled the writer and changed the script.

I honestly think Pepe would knock the sh*t outta anyone in our team...

I honestly think Pepe would knock the sh*t outta anyone in our team...

... other than Martin Skrtel

 

I honestly think Pepe would knock the sh*t outta anyone in our team...

Really....

Reckon if Skrtel and Kyrgiakos collided the world would end and scientists could analyse the new big bang. Liverpool training is a dangerous place.

Reckon if Skrtel and Kyrgiakos collided the world would end and scientists could analyse the new big bang. Liverpool training is a dangerous place.

We could make them go for a 50/50 ball and call it a hadron collider

... or even a hard-man collider 

 

We could make them go for a 50/50 ball and call it a hadron collider

... or even a hard-man collider 

 

Nice.. very nice was going to say that til I scrolled down on your post. + for you

Really....

Reckon if Skrtel and Kyrgiakos collided the world would end and scientists could analyse the new big bang. Liverpool training is a dangerous place.

Nah Pepe is large...

Nah Pepe is large...

Aye aye, you know more than me?

    haha

Aye aye, you know more than me?

    haha

Just copped how bad that sounds...

You know there's that saying  : " you can take the man out of the city but you can't take the city out of the man "

.....Well Martin Skrtel can take anything out of a living person ...including organs and let them live .