This is the club that just keeps on giving.
The man who gave us 52 swear words in a Press Conference (aimed at some pr**k of a journalist):
On Sunday, 24 hours before Newcastle were to make any announcement Joe Kinnear comes out and says this off his own back:
Former Newcastle United manager Joe Kinnear has confirmed that he has been appointed as the Magpies' new director of football.
The 66-year-old, who managed the club during the 2008-2009 season, said he would be taking on the role of recruiting players.
"The deal is absolutely done," Kinnear told Sky Sports News.
"I signed the deal with owner Mike Ashley on Sunday. I intend to meet [manager] Alan Pardew this week."
Newcastle, who finished fifth from bottom last campaign, have yet to announce Kinnear's appointment.
The former Wimbledon manager said he wanted to improve the team, adding he would not interfere with selection or tactics.
"I'm a very good judge of player and a good tactician," he added.
"Anything to do with football, I've been involved in. I intend to make Newcastle far better than they are now.
"I see a good player and know a good player. I have no other agenda. If I see players at the club right now and don't think they are good enough I intend to move them on."
Kinnear insisted "there will be no issues" between him and Pardew.
"I'm not picking the team," he added. "I'm there solely to make sure he gets the best possible team on the pitch."
The ex-Tottenham player's first stint at club lasted just over four months.
Kinnear was named as interim manager in September 2008 following Kevin Keegan's resignation and was expected to be in charge for just one month, before the club decided he would remain at the helm until the end of the season.
But his time in the north east of England was brought to an abrupt halt when he was taken ill with heart problems in February 2009.
Assistants Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood took over, before former Newcastle striker Alan Shearer was placed in charge of the team, who were eventually relegated to the Championship that season.
"We were third from bottom when I took over and we were 12th when I had my heart attack," added Kinnear.
"From there we got relegated. People were trying to implicate me when the club went down. That was a load of rubbish. I've never been a manager of a club that's been relegated [Luton were relegated while he was in charge in 2001]."
Kinnear added that he also planned to meet Newcastle's chief scout Graham Carr regarding playing personnel at the club.
So as you can imagine the Monday has everybody questioning this crazy decision in the news whilst all the Geordies are making that 52 swear word presser sound like a nursery rhyme.
What does he do then? Rings up Talksport last night and gives us some more.
Joe Kinnear says he has "more intelligence" than the critics who have questioned his expected appointment as Newcastle's new director of football.
The Magpies are yet to confirm the move, but Kinnear, 66, who managed Newcastle during the 2008-09 season, says he has signed a deal.
Kinnear's spell as Newcastle boss was ended by a heart attack and some fans and media have criticised any return.
But he told talkSPORT: "I've certainly got more intelligence than them."
•Refused to accept criticism of his credentials, saying he could "open the door to any manager in the world".
•Said he wasn't a threat to manager Alan Pardew.
•Said he had won three manager of the year awards, when he actually won one at Wimbledon in 1994.
•Incorrectly said he had signed goalkeeper Tim Krul, who was brought to the club by Graeme Souness in 2005 .
•Mispronounced several players' names, including calling Newcastle managing director Derek Llambias "Lambazi", Yohan Cabaye "Yohan Cabab" and Shola Ameobi "Shola Amamobi".
At the end of the interview Kinnear was asked if he wanted to "say anything personally to the Newcastle fans who perhaps don't back this decision". He replied: "To all the fans who don't agree with this decision, shall I bring Llambias back in? What do you want? What do they want?
"I heard a silly comment of 'what can I attract?'. I can open the door to any manager in the world, anyone, that's the difference. I've spent my whole life talking to Alex Ferguson, week in, week out.
"I can pick the phone up at any time of the day and speak to [Arsenal manager] Arsene Wenger, any manager in the league. In all the divisions.
"I don't know what angle they've [critics] got, if they want to sit down and argue with me. Some are talking out of their backsides, a load of tosh. I'm not accepting it, as simple as that. I have certainly got more intelligence than them, that's for sure."
Kinnear revealed his own expected appointment in an interview with Sky Sports News on Sunday, but the club have yet to comment. The Press Association says Newcastle will announce Kinnear as director of football later on Tuesday.
His first stint at Newcastle lasted just over four months and was marked by a fractious relationship with journalists. Some have criticised his return. Mark Jensen, editor of fanzine The Mag , said he was "amazed and astounded" that the former Wimbledon boss was coming back to the club.
But Kinnear said he would never forget the support of fans after his heart attack in 2009.
The former Tottenham player said: "I got over 10,000 letters when I had my heart attack, I felt very proud of that and thought I did an excellent job.
"A lot of Geordies are influenced by the media set, because I stood up to 100 journalists that night. It was the same night we beat Tottenham 2-1. The journalists always had it in ... many of the Geordie fans were sucked in."
Joe Kinnear talkSPORT Interview | Yohan Kebab | Newcastle United every Newcastle supporter is pissed off.
He then does lunch with Pardew today and then the club confirm the 3 year deal and state that Pardew and Carr will both report to Joe.
Is he Mike Ashley's mate? Can't help but think Ashley wants Pardew to jump ship so he doesn't have to pay the remaining 16 years of his contract.
Over the last couple of years the only good thing Newcastle have done is bought well.
Very, very odd.
