Roses are red....

Anyone got any funny valentines day poems.
They usually follow the old "Roses are red, Violets are blue..." structure.

Here's one i've nicked from mock the week to get us started:

Roses are red
Violets are Blue
I've got chlamydia
And now so have you 

Any more?

Roses Are Red
Grass Is Green
Open your legs
And ill fill in between

Roses are red,
violrts are blue,
you are pretty hot,
how 'bout I f**k you?

One for the sinlge peeps out there that...

Not actually Roses are Red but....


A bloke bought his wife a bag and belt for Valentines Day, the hoover and washing machine should work now 

Eat me, beat me, bite my bum, whip me, strip me make me cum!
Make me tremble, moan and shout, come on baby freak me out!

Not actually Roses are Red but....


A bloke bought his wife a bag and belt for Valentines Day, the hoover and washing machine should work now  

I like It.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
i just hit you with a hammer,
now your dead.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Garbage is dumped,
and so are you.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Garbage is dumped,
and so are you.

I like that one, nice.

Rosed are red,
Violets are blue,
I like your legs,
and the thing in between.

LFC are red
EFC are blue
But who gives a F**k
about everton anyway?

Not Valentines but,....

Roses are reddish,
Violets are blueish,
If it was not for Jesus,
We'd all be Jewish.

Got this one off a good bird mate before

"Violets are Blue
Roses are Red
Come Round Mine
And we'll go up to Bed"

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I just hit you with a hammer,
now your dead.

Very dark that.. but i like it

Roses Are Red
Violets Are Blue
God Made Me Pretty
What Happened To you?

Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you
but the roses are pelting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you
but the roses are pelting
the violets are dead
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

good one LP

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You love me
And I love me too

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I love to boogie
Jitterbug boogie
On a Saturday night.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You sendin' The Wolf?
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii t negro, that's all you had to saaaaaaaaaay!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Now go make me a cup of coffee
Pretty please, with sugar on top

Roses are red
Violets are blue
and my tiny little nipples went to France.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whose motorcycle is this?
It's not a motorcycle babe, it's a chopper.
Whose chopper is this?
Zed's.
Who's Zed?
Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Whose motorcycle is this?
It's not a motorcycle babe, it's a chopper.
Whose chopper is this?
Zed's.
Who's Zed?
Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

Someone watching a bit of Pulp Fiction???

---------------


Violets are Blue
Just Like the Sea
Get in the Kitchen
And make my TEA!!!!!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
SHOUT SHOUT
Let it all out!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
SHOUT SHOUT
Let it all out!

Post. Of. The. Year.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I just went to the toilet
and did a big fat stinky poo!

Just off the top of my head.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Another can of Stella
And then I'll go practise some kung fu.

Roses are red
Watches are gold
Get on your knees
and do what your told

Roses are red
Violets are Blue
I want to explode
Inside of you.

Roses are red
Violets are Blue
I want to explode
Inside of you.

Good 1 mate

Roses are Red
Lillys are White
Pucker your Lips
and Blow me Tonight

Roses are Red
Lillys are White
Pucker your Lips
and Blow me Tonight

Love it   

Good 1 mate

Cheers mate.

Love it   :lma

Don't we all mate don't we all.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Get your rat out
For the lads

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm going to fill a pillowcase with bars of soap,
And beat the sh*t out of you.

Violets are blue
Roses are red
Now put this bag
Over your head

Grass is green
Clouds are white
Im not shaggin you
Your c**t smells of sh*te!!