By Mike Walters
Liver Bird to Fergie: Well done on the 19th title, but can we have our perch back please?
Fergie to Liver Bird: It’s taken me 25 years to knock you off that effing thing – surely you don’t want your bird cage back already?
Liver Bird to Fergie: Get off our perch and don’t come back until you’ve won five European Cups. And don’t call me Shirley.he Kop didn’t just blow away Fulham with a Âblistering three-goal salute in the opening 16 minutes.
They served notice that next season’s biggest threat to United’s throne may come from a familiar old foe down the East Lancs Road.
It is 21 years since Dalglish led Liverpool to their 18th crown, a record which Ferguson would love to topple at Blackburn on Saturday if it drowns out the noisy neighbours on their retreat from the FA Cup final at Wembley.
But the Kop’s Âtransformation under King Kenny has been so startling that their moonwalk in SW6 may not have been mere showboating. It may be the shape of things to come.
On the night Jamie Carragher made his 666th appearance for the Kop, moving to No.2 in the all-time charts above Emlyn Hughes and Ray Clemence, Fulham should have dialled 999.
Sunset along the Thames towpath provided the perfect illumination to admire one of the greats whose place in the hall of fame is assured.
But that’s enough about the Michael Jackson statue – a monument to naffness which has brought only ridicule to a fine club where Mark Hughes has inspired a largely unnoticed recovery.
Regrettably, Hughes’ back four were made to look as thick as two short plinths as Carragher’s big night quickly turned into a procession.
Only 32 seconds had elapsed when Fulham keeper Mark Schwarzer inexplicably tried to field Luis Suarez’s deflected cross with his feet instead of his hands, and Maxi Rodriguez arrived at the far post to punish his indecision.
One of Wacko Jacko’s biggest-selling albums was called Bad, but after six minutes Fulham came up with their own sequel: Worse.
England full-back Glen Johnson’s right-wing cross picked out Maxi again, and he made light of a tight angle to squeeze a left-footed volley into the far corner.
With Fulham trapped in full self-destruct mode, Suarez was denied a penalty under Brede Hangeland’s push, but it was not long before Schwarzer and his senses were parted again.
Dirk Kuyt’s low shot would not have troubled an Âorchestral percussionist with his cymbals, or Mrs Doubtfire when her oven gloves caught fire, but he managed only to shovel it inside his near post – and by now the only question was whether Liverpool’s goals would outnumber the Jackson Five’s brothers.
Kuyt’s ninth goal in the last eight games made him the first Kop player to score in five consecutive League games since John Aldridge in 1989.
And even when Fulham did threaten to hide their blushes, Johnson was well-placed to clear Clint ÂDempsey’s volley off the line.
Fulham went through the motions of a fightback after the break, and their Âpersistence was rewarded when Moussa Dembele swept sub Bobby Zamora’s lay-off beyond Pepe Reina after 57 minutes.
Maxi completed his second hat-trick in three games with a thunderous 25-yard shot into the top corner.
Suarez capped a Âbrilliant individual performance by scampering clear on to sub Jonjo Shelvey’s sublime pass and rounding Schwarzer to score easily.
Steve Sidwell’s late strike from long range in reply scored high marks for artistic impression, but was mere window dressing.
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Fulham-2-5-Liverpool-Maxi-Rodriguez-hat-trick-takes-Reds-into-fifth-place-article734055.html