First thing, get your f***in hair cut laddie, you look like a girl(no offence ladies), and you remind me of Veronin,
Second, you need to slow down your Geordie accent so we can all understand you,( Kenny's is allowed he's the boss), shouting 'Whay aye' everytime you score will only confuse your partner wee Luis and of course young Jordan who hates hearing it, for obvious reasons being a former Makem,
Third,
if you have to go clubbing, it does'nt mean literally, in and around Liverpool, clubbing means going out dancing, getting extremely ratarsed, and bedding some tart who will pleasure your every need, and dont forget your court injunction application form has to be completed before your taxi comes,
lastly, you know that round thing full of air that your teamates like to keep a hold of ? well your role is to stick it between the posts and beyond the bloke with the fat gloves,if you can manage to do that 20-30 times a season, the folk in red will quite like you you know, godspeed fella, YNWA.
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