Not sure if anyone has seen this site, I've wasted many hours on it.
www.dontevenreply.comBasically, the guy finds ads online and replies to them to try and wind them up. Its brilliant.
Post your favourites. Heres a sample....
My New Jogging Partner
Posted at: 2011-01-03 21:06:38
Original ad:
I want to get back into shape and am looking for a jogging partner. I always run better if I can keep the pace with someone else as I am sure other fellow runners know. I only work afternoons so I can run during the morning or night, doesnt matter much to me. shoot me an email if you want to be running partners
From Me to *************@*******.org:
Dear New Running Partner,
Hello! My name is Mustafi Chukwuemeka Adetokunbo, but my friends call me Wuemeka. I have just moved to Philadelphia from Kenya and I too am looking for a running partner. I run for twelve miles every morning, and another eight at night. I now run a 4 minute mile. I know this is slow, but no worry, I am aiming to run a 3:50 mile by next month. I most look forward to running with you, my new friend! Please respond with your contact information and where you would like to run. I am not so acquainted with Philadelphia, but I would prefer to run in densely forested areas if you know of any.
Run with you soon,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
wow man are you for real? theres no frickin way I can run a 4 minute mile!!!!!!!
From Me to Steve *****::
Dear Steve,
I am sorry to hear you cannot run a 4 minute mile. I can slow down my pace if you would like. How does a 4 minute 30 second mile sound?
Warm regards,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
HAH! dude I can run a 9 minute mile on a good day. thats it. im not training for the freaking olympics here...
From Me to Steve *****::
Nine minutes? Why are you so slow, friend? Nine minutes! Man oh man, is that slow! In my country, you would not survive! You would be eaten by a lion or speared by a rhino! I am very sorry for you my friend. You remind me of my last running partner Jumu, he was eaten by a cheetah!
Good day to you,
Wuemeka
From Steve ***** to Me:
yeah well this isnt africa this is PHILLY. we have crackheads here, not rhinos or cheetahs or elephants and we sure as sh*t dont have rainforests. come on man are you stupid?
From Me to Steve *****::
I am not stupid, you are the stupid one my friend! We will see who is the stupid one when you are being chased by a lion! We have a word for fools like you in Kenya - KUMAMAKO!
From Steve ***** to Me:
leave me the f**k alone jumanji!
This one is excellent....
Original ad:
Clean fill
Need clean fill rocks are fine. not much. cannot pick up must deliver. will take off you hands for free.
From Me to brad ********:
Hello,
I have some rocks I need to get rid of. I have several different types of rocks ranging from 1/2" to 6" rocks. Just let me know what kind you want, how much you need, and when I can send my guy to deliver.
Thanks,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
well I need them to fill a small whole in my backyard so bigger rocks I guess? 6 inch would be good. I only need like 2 wheelbarow loads so not too many. when can you deliver?
From Me to brad ********:
6" it is. I can have a truck there to deliver any time between 9-5 Monday through Friday. Where are you located?
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
do I have to be there for the delivery? I work every day so those times arent gonna work for me. if its cool could you drop them off tomorrow? just tell your guy to put them on the grass at the edge of my driveway next to the shed
heres my address:
517 *********** ln
coatesville, pa
From Me to brad ********:
No, you do not have to be there. I will forward this information to my driver and you can expect the rocks tomorrow.
From brad ******** to Me:
great
The rest of this conversation is the following day. I looked up his address in Google street view to figure out what his driveway looked like.
From Me to brad ********:
Hey Brad,
Just wanted to let you know, we actually need to get rid a few more rocks, so my guy is going to deliver them to your house in about 15 minutes.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
wait what how many more? I dont want any more I have nowhere to put them
From Me to brad ********:
We sent a truckload with about 8 tons of 6" rocks. Don't worry, all the rocks are free of charge.
From brad ******** to Me:
8 TONS? what the f**k you better tell your guy not to deliver them
From brad ******** to Me:
you got that? DONT DELIVER THE ROCKS
From Me to brad ********:
I just got off the phone with my guy, he said he just delivered the rocks. He told me you didn't leave him enough room for all 8 tons by the shed, so he just dumped them in front of your garage.
Best,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
WHAT THE F**k!!!! I told you dont delever them you f**king dipshit! the f**k am I gonna do with all those rocks? you better get rid of them by the time I get home man..... how am I suposed to park my f**king car?
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry that we had to block your garage, but you should have left more room next to the shed if you wanted them dumped there. Unfortunately we lack the necessary machinery to load the rocks back into the truck so removal is not an option. Also, my driver said he accidentally backed into your shed and broke one of the windows. We apologize for this. Consider the free extra rocks as compensation for the damage.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
ARE YOU F***ing KIDING ME MOTHER f**ker YOUR PAYING FOR THE SHED
I LEFT YOU PLENTY F***ing ROOM FOR THE AMT OF ROCKS I ASKEDFOR. YOU DIDNT SAY YOU WERE DELIVERIG 8 F***ing TONS OF ROCKS YOU PEICE OF sh*t!!!! USE YOUR HANDS I DONT GIVE A F**k HOW YOU DO IT BUT IF I FIND 8 TONS OF ROCKS IN MY DRIVE WAY THERE IS GONNA F***ing HELL TO PAY
F***ing ASSHOLE
From Me to brad ********:
Brad,
If you insist on us removing the rocks then we are going to have to charge you a $500 rock removal fee.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
THIS IS SOME F***ing BULLSHIT
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry you feel that way, but without the $500 removal fee, we cannot remove the rocks. I realize you must be upset about your shed, so if you like, we can deliver another 4 tons of rocks as our way of apologizing for the shed.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
NO DICKHEAD WHY THE F**k WOULD I WANT MORE ROCKS??? DUMBASS
THIS IS YOUR F***ing FAULT. I DIDNT ASK FOR 8 TONS OF ROCKS AND IM NOT PAYING sh*t. YOU OWE ME FOR THE SHED AND YOU GET THOSE ROCKS THE F**k OUT OF THERE YOU F***ing pr**k
From Me to brad ********:
If you aren't paying, then you have to keep the rocks. These are really nice rocks, though. I'm sure you will be able to find use for them. I have a pile of rocks in my backyard and it makes for a great conversation piece. If deer are a problem in your backyard, you can use these rocks to throw at them. They also make great paperweights. There are plenty of things to do with these rocks, so enjoy them.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
im at my house now. where are the rocks?
From brad ******** to Me:
oh F**k YOU