Suggestions Needed in writing Statement of Purpose.

I've applied in the University of Sanfrancisco For their Sports management Program. So this is what ive written For the Statement of purpose and few parts have been Tucked from Google. So please help me in making this SOP More impressive. I am Really Stuck now. This is all I Could Come Up. I am Still looking For The Starting parragraph . Please help. There are many Spelling Mistakes there. Its just Roughly Written So here it Goes.


Through my Entire life. Ive Been associated in Sports from soccer, cricket, tennis and to Even Roller Skating.The Adrenaline Rush that Comes iwth playing sports is something that I can't put into words. Nothing Beats that Experience For me.

Im a Real Competitor when it Comes in Sports. Always give my 100% .Everytime. My love For sports has led me to pursue sports management. When I first heard about this program. In a Split Second I knew that this would be my Path.I can't imagine myself doing anything other than studying Sports. Sports is the field that I knows best and I See myself Succeeding in it.

As I am a Big Supporter of Liverpool FC. With it I have gained a fair knowledge of few things like The Dealing in transfer of players and structure of Leverage Buyouts. I Believe this will give me edge over the Fellow students when it comes to the sport of Soccer.

My Goal is to become a Sports manager. Sports Manager Plays a very Pivotal Role in a Company.Certainly one of the Most Delicate one Like They work closely with the coach and scouts to determine which players are the most talented, economically feasible, and play positions the team needs. So it needs a Certain pairs of Skills To perform such activities.

That Skill im sure I will learn in USF. Once I knew that Sports Management is Ultimately I wanted to do in life.After an Intensive Search it was was really a No- Brainer to Choose USF. Reading all the details that this University has to offer in Sports management. This Uni has a Vast and Rich Tradition of Sporting Programs.

If I am able to major in Sport Management, I want to be able to do it specifically in the Sport of Soccer . Soccer is the Sport that I loves most. The Competitiveness, emotions really attracts me of the Game.but it could be anything related to sport.

I would work very hard to achieve my Goals. Wont Feel Stressed because this what I wanted to do. I'd be happy to work in the sports Programs. I know in USF I will learn the skills that is gonna help me in the future.

If im part of this Great Place. It Would be a Great honour for me to study in USF.I am a True Sports Lover I know USF is the place to Get Started.I am Willing to do whatever it takes to succeed in the Field of Sports Because I know where I  am supposed to be and this is what I wanted to do. I will give my 100% in order to fulfill the Expectation.

In The End I just Wanna say that USF will be the best thing happened to me.

Always difficult when writing about yourself but perhaps the hardest thing is selling yourself which you haven't done here. E.g. You say you always give 100% as a competitor.... Well my first question would be is when? Give an example, sell yourself.

You say you don't feel stress.....why? What example can you give to back this up, again sell yourself.

Also you say you love Soccer ( take it that's football   ) but don't narrow yourself to one field.

Not trying to be to critical but the hardest thing to do in any written document is to sell yourself and big yourself up, but as a rule of thumb every quality that you list about yourself should be backed up with an example as it can appear to be false words.

Again I apologise if this is difficult to read but I have sausage fingers and typing on my iPhone on a train.

Good luck

If you dont feel stress you are not human.Sorry.Its how you deal with stress which is important fight or flight.Make sure you refer to the achievements of the university you are applying to and don't make it all about you.
You say you are a big Liverpool Supporter but Shankly would have no time for sports academia so try to use him and his phylosophy's and how they would trancend 50 years to be valid even to day.

If you dont feel stress you are not human.Sorry.Its how you deal with stress which is important fight or flight.Make sure you refer to the achievements of the university you are applying to and don't make it all about you.
You say you are a big Liverpool Supporter but Shankly would have no time for sports academia so try to use him and his phylosophy's and how they would trancend 50 years to be valid even to day.

My point was that. I'm so hooked in sports stress will be the least of the worries. And rest of the points are Valid. I should do a more research on University and write a few lines on it. Certainly I Will add up Sir shanky in the Statement.

Always difficult when writing about yourself but perhaps the hardest thing is selling yourself which you haven't done here. E.g. You say you always give 100% as a competitor.... Well my first question would be is when? Give an example, sell yourself.

You say you don't feel stress.....why? What example can you give to back this up, again sell yourself.

Also you say you love Soccer ( take it that's football   ) but don't narrow yourself to one field.

Not trying to be to critical but the hardest thing to do in any written document is to sell yourself and big yourself up, but as a rule of thumb every quality that you list about yourself should be backed up with an example as it can appear to be false words.

Again I apologise if this is difficult to read but I have sausage fingers and typing on my iPhone on a train.

Good luck

I Thought it should be easy to write on myself but it's a bit harder. Always give my 100%- Scored a Hatrick in a Losing Cause Representing My Town and has been performing well in other Sports also.

I mentioned about the Stress Thing in the Above post.

As Much as I hate to say Soccer But it is appropriate word for Americans Cheesy

Thanx for Taking Your time Gazza and Walton Mate.

More Suggestions Please

You may want to explain what you will bring to the Uni as so far you've only mentioned what you will take.

For example, do they have a soccer team?  How are they doing?  Have they won any collegiate honours?

Uni's are generally very competetive so if you can help them win something it may help.

As Gazza said, sell yourself.  Give examples.

Have you Captained a team? shows you're a leader.

Have you Coached? shows you're willing to help others.

Have you Managed a team or been on any committees?  shows you're already experienced in your subject matter.

Give them reasons to select you, rather than reject you.

Best of luck mate.