UNrealistic Expectations For the New Season

Just for fun!

Post your hopes, most optimistic predictions, or even outright made-up bollocks (just imagine you're Bigmick! ) for the forthcoming season.

Personally, I reckon Joe Allen's beard will keep growing at an alarming rate. During a tense encounter at Old Trafford, the score is 1-1. Rooney has a chance to score the winner, but slips on Allen's facial hair, allowing Milner to nutmeg the rest of United's team and score a 97th minute winner.

Brendan tears off his suit in delight and does a Jose knee-slide in front of the outraged home fans.

You heard it here first!

Lucas gets a goal.

Enrique recovers from his RSI injury from being on Instagram.

SOD decides to honour Pascoe and brings the shorts back out of retirement!

Chelsea its 2-1 to the blues, Sturridge pops up and draws it level in the 90th minute, then in the 92nd minute Sakho rises to score a towering header then unduly runs over to John Terry who has been left in a heap on the floor, lobs out his cock and slaps terry around the face with it 3 times and says how's you like that you racist c**t ?

Gomez plays 3 games and wins young player of the year!! 

Gomez plays 3 games and wins young player of the year!! 

Be honest. How much did Fed pay you?

We get a clean sheet at Stoke.

Be honest. How much did Fed pay you?

 

I thought his progress was universally loved and everyone thought he was the new Rio Ferdinand/Bobby Moore?

We win at stoke, win all the tough away games before xmas
Gomez plays all 11 positions in one game and scores a hattrick
gary mac comes out of retirement as a one off and scores a late winner at goodison

Joe Allen pulls a Sampson and goes from strength to strength as the beard and hair grows

We don't win the League.

Unbeaten and traveling to Etihad for a top of the table clash on Nov 21

Flu spreads through the team prior to the derby wiping out the team so Gary Mac has to tog out and scores the winner with a 50 yard free kick! 

the flu thing is the unrealistic bit!!

Beckenbauer, Maradona and Pele tragically pass in a FIFA PR exercise but there is a god and they are allowed to come back to earth just like a Tom Hanks film. They possess the bodies of Skertl, Henderson and Origi and we win the league by 25 pts with a goal difference of 200+ and sell all 3 for 2.8 billion next season, after the three superstars have returned to the astral plane.

We get Messi on the winter transfer for free.... Man city pay his salary for us.

Winning the Euro or Lotto jackpot during the season

Dwight Gayle doesnt score against us.

We get a clean sheet at Stoke.

Clean sheet?! No thanks.... We're going to tw*t them 6-1 

I get to see a game.

I get to see a game.

This for me as well

Harmony and goodwill breaks out on the forum , oh and corbally gets a short reprieve  .

Win the Champions League.

WIN F***ing EVERYTHING.

Ahem, sorry, not sorry.

Having a striker that gets in to double figures??

Lovren POTY.

Ballon d'Or and all manner of endorsements ring for the man history will now forever refer to as the "Colossus of a cold wet Wednesday at the Britannia."

Joe Alllen joins ZZ top
Jose Enrique gets his own travel show called 'go away Jose'
Gary Mac gets a hair transplant
George Red becomes LFC press officer
Federer posts 3 sensible posts in a row.
Ian Ayre get knighted

A post laced in innuendo makes RedLFCBlood blush with a "too much" head shake.

We'll have a game where every player is praised by everyone on the forum.

Lovren POTY.

Ballon d'Or and all manner of endorsements ring for the man history will now forever refer to as the "Colossus of a cold wet Wednesday at the Britannia."

We'll have a game where every player is praised by everyone on the forum.

Inception.

....... and corbally gets a short reprieve  .

F**k off with that sh*t. Don't even joke about it lest you tempt the lords of fate.



As for the season....

Lovren will score with his forehead or any other body part and finish the season on double figures.

Firmino will share the golden boot with Benteke.

I will take over from the sacked Brendan Rodgers and will duly have a self portrait done, get my teeth whitened, lose my paunch, get a sh*t yet expensive car, get myself a dolly bird (sorry Sam) and go on to lead LFC to a quadruple of trophies, including the champions league after we are given a place in the tournament due to the munters having a manager deemed to ugly for a world wide tv audience.

That'll do pig, that'll do.

F**k off with that sh*t. Don't even joke about it lest you tempt the lords of fate.

I did say short reprieve .

I did say short reprieve .

I s'pose it is the unrealistic thread.

I s'pose it is the unrealistic thread.

Haha it is mate it would be unrealistic to think he would last a week without a warning too .

Haha it is mate it would be unrealistic to think he would last a week without a warning too .

I'm not too sure, he's got some right company in here these days.

I'm not too sure, he's got some right company in here these days.

You're right on that one bud .

Federer will post something positive...

i was going to be specific on players, manager or games but no... anything

1. The backline will look solid and mistake-free for a full 45 minutes.

2. Studge and Benteke will stay fit the entire season.

3. Brendan will go a whole 24 hours without praising someone's "strength of character" in the media.

4. Hendo will pull a Ronaldo and rip the armband off and throw it on the ground after Emre gets sent off for tackling Lovren.

5. Raheem will get Brendan's ex-wifey pregnant.

Twice.

1. The backline will look solid and mistake-free for a full 45 minutes.

2. Studge and Benteke will stay fit the entire season.

3. Brendan will go a whole 24 hours without praising someone's "strength of character" in the media.

4. Hendo will pull a Ronaldo and rip the armband off and throw it on the ground after Emre gets sent off for tackling Lovren.

5. Raheem will get Brendan's ex-wifey pregnant.

Twice.

lmao mate why did you have to add twice

After intervention from Sandra Bullock, who lavishes love and attention on him; Balotelli's mental age rises to 14, he loses the chip on his shoulder and stars in the 2015 remake of 'The Blind Side'.

Mohamed Diame is named 'Championship Player of The Year' - Liverpool F.C. win a bidding war with Yeovil, Wigan and Exeter for his services.

Pedro doesn't get linked with Liverpool F.C. in January.

There will be no calls for Brendan's head when we lose two games on the bounce.

Price Waterhouse Cooper and Deloitte will raid LFCReds forum for new accountants and the 'Brain Drain' will take it's inevitable toll - the forum descends into anarchy as the remaining posters only debate football.

That we win every league match, and we win the F.A.Cup  and the league cup,and we never get beat in Europe .No doubt some one will tell me that we cant expect to win the league cup
.