Some fun facts you never knew about Salah that Chuck Norris would be proud of.
Salah once scored a hat-trick, then scored three own goals to cancel it out, and then scored another hat-trick all in the same game; just to prove he could do it at will.
Underneath Salah's afro, there is no scalp, just an image of Harry Kane's hopes and dreams disappearing.
Salah once brought a female fan to orgasm by playing the harp at a very low note.
Salah can order a full Chinese take away, in Russian, using sign language.
Salah managed to halt another army-led coup in Egypt using nothing but a series of bicycle kicks.
Salah can grow a fully fledged beard in the time it takes to eat breakfast.
Salah wasn't born, he's always existed.
When Salah makes custard, cakes blush.
Salah's regular jogging partner is an adult Bengal tiger.
Salah can hotwire a Nasa space shuttle.