So had a bit of a teary moment with my boss the other day. Last thing I wanted but she must have sensed things weren't quite right
Long story short had a good meeting with her and the Business owner after my planned review and bit of a weight has been lifted as they have been very supportive.
Told them I can't guarantee I won't need time off but spoke with GP today and going back in the meds for now and will see how that helps.
How are you doing now? I hope things are improving for you mate.you
I need to do something. I dont want to go back on tablets but i feel totally ... lost. Almost empty inside.
My 8 year old son is all that keeps me going. He makes me proud. He makes me smile. But i basically spend most days in work and then the rest of the day/night in the spare room ... in silence. Thats my existence. I feel like there is just nothing left. No energy. No fight. No zest for life. Its been mentally and emotionally beaten out of me over the years. Now i just feel beaten down into silence. Its easier to just stay silent. Trying to get from one day to the next. I find it hard to be happy about anything. I feel sad all the time. It is a deep level of depression. I understand that much. Its just all a battle. A battle thats neverending but yet feels like i cant win. I feel like im on the verge of a real breakdown now. Life is a struggle isnt it.
Tomorrow is another day. Just got to keep going. For my son, and my parents who worry about me all the time. I pretty much hide it from them. But my son, he is starting to notice. He just comes in , hugs me and tells me he loves me. Asks me to tuck him in. Thats the best parts of my day.