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      The Library Club

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      dunlop liddell shankly
      • 2009 LFC quiz champion (now to be known as "Kate")
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      The Library Club
      Nov 07, 2008 01:46:50 am
      Unfortunately the monolouge comedy wasn't funny, just me trying to be clever. I didn't find any of it funny myself, and if you can't laugh at your own jokes who will? Well anyway, I've knocked that idea on the head and have a new idea called "The Library Club" which I'll put up in a bit, just need me UB40 CD to finish so I can go back to the start aswell as three cheese butties and a glass of coke. Those three things should get me to write something decent this time round.
      « Last Edit: Nov 09, 2008 01:03:07 am by dunlop_liddell_shankly »
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      Re: Monologues
      Reply #1: Nov 07, 2008 08:32:09 am
      Wow!! Nice one!!!

      You certainly are a man of many talents!!!  ;D
      dunlop liddell shankly
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      Re: The Library Club
      Reply #2: Nov 09, 2008 02:04:50 am
      The Library Club
      Episode 1: "Silence! This is a library"

      It was 6 pm and the library on Windsor Street opened for the nightshift by resident librarian Shelia. The usual suspects were in as they were most nights.[/tt]

      Sammy:    "Seems a bit quiet tonight Sheel."

      Shelia:    "Well Samantha, it is a library. It's one place you would expect quiet."

      Dan:    "Couldn't keep it down then could you Shelia girl? I'm trying to study over here."

      Shelia:    "That'd be a first."

      Dan:    "Nah, bout the 100th time I've been on this site. Know what I mean."

      Shelia:    "Unfortunately I do Daniel."

      Chris:    "What site is it Dan?"

      Dan:    "It's a great sight on the eye, if you know what I mean."

      Chris:    "No not really."

      Dan:    "No I guess you wouldn't."

      Chris started walking over towards Dan, when Shelia stopped him. Only to be interupted by Wayne's blasting stero.

      Shelia:    "Wayne turn that down."

      Wayne:    "Eh?"

      Shelia:   "Down."

      Wayne:    "Down where?"

      Shelia:    "Turn it down?"

      Wayne:    "Oh are my clothes too loud? Got them from the market today..."

      Shelia:    "No not your clothes. The music."

      Sammy:    "What music?"

      Rachel:    "The one blasting out of his stero I'd imagine."

      Sammy:    "That ain't music. That's a racket."

      Wayne:    "Hang on a minute Shelia."

      Wayne turned off his stero.

      Wayne:    "Now what was you saying?"

      Shelia:    "I wanted you to the stero down."

      Wayne:    "Oh sorry, you should have said something."

      Shelia:    "I did say something."

      Wayne:    "Well I didn't hear you."

      Eddie:    "Hey Wayne, how's it going mate?"

      Wayne:    "Not bad thanks Ed, you?"

      Eddie:    "Yeah I'm great thanks mate. Loving the new 50 Cent album you just had on."

      Wayne:    "Sorry Ed, but that was Ne-Yo."

      Eddie:    "Oh yeah of course it was. I knew that."

      Tommy:    "Like friggin' hell you did."

      Shelia:    "Thomas I won't have any swearing in this library. And Christopher I told you before, one person per computer. Daniel is using that computer so move away."

      Chris:    "I'm just watching this game."

      Shelia:    "There will be no games played in here."

      Dan:    "Well done brains. Got me collor felt now."

      Emma:    "Why do you always make out you're some criminal Danny? You're 21 years old and the only time you've had anything to do with the police was when they wanted you as an extra for The Bill."

      Dan:    "And I suppose you're a regular jail bird?"

      Jo:    "Yeah, all the convicts go for her."

      Emma:    "Sod off Jo but no I'm not Dan but then I don't pretend to be the way you do."

      Tommy:    "He only pretends because his reality is an existantce rather than a life."

      Emma:    "That was quite profound that Tom."

      Tommy:    "I'm a deep person. I have a lot to say, but when society shoots you down as soon as you open your mouth I don't see the point. And if you are allowed to speak it falls on deaf ears anyway, so you're only wasting your own breath."

      Dan:    "And our time. Grow up."

      Shelia:    "I shan't tell you again this is a library."

      Sammy:    "Well that's stating the obvious."

      Shelia:    "Well I expect silence."

      Tommy:    "My dad expected his job down by the Docks to be safe forever but it wasn't. We expected Mr Brown to make Britain a prosperous place again but it isn't. You can expect what you like but if you get that expectation is another thing."

      Chris:    "How do you come up with this stuff Tommy?"

      Tommy:    "I tend to use my brain, which rules you out."

      Emma started giggling while Chris looked confused.

      Jo:    "You're not are you girl?"

      Emma:    "I don't know. He is kinda cute. I like the way he looks at life."

      Jo:    "He hasn't a penny to his name."

      Emma:    "Money isn't everything you know Jodie."

      Jo:    "No good looks count and all."

      Emma:    "I prefer personality."

      Jo:    "Well you see how fun a personality is when you can't afford the rent. Then see how fun a personality is when you're shivering in the cold because you've been thrown out and you've nothing to warm yourself up with."

      Emma:    "You're looking a bit far ahead."

      Jo:    "I thought you liked looking at life?"

      Emma:    "I like how Tommy looks at life. He's only 17 but has such a mature head on his shoulders."

      Jo:    "And you're 24. The age gap is too big."

      Emma:    "There's no limit on how young someone can be to be friends is there?"

      Jo:    "Friends?"

      Sammy:    "What you two whispering about?"

      Emma:    "Friends."

      Sammy:     "I'm your friend Em, but you didn't speak to me? Good friends."

      Emma:    "Not like that. Possible new friends."

      Sammy:     "Possible new friends? Is this like a job interview? Certain qualities they must possess and all that. You don't have "possible" new friends, you just make friends with whoever you want."

      Jo:    "She's fallen for Tommy."

      Sammy:    "Tommy the tramp?"

      Emma:    "Don't call him that."

      Sammy:    "Which?"

      Emma:    "You know full well."

      Sammy:    "She's protective of him already."

      Emma stormed off while Jodie and Samantha continued laughing.

      Wayne:    "What you reading Ed?"

      Eddie:    "A book."

      Wayne:    "There's a shocker in a library."

      Eddie:    "No that's the usual thing to do in places like this."

      Wayne:    "You don't get sarcasm do you mate?"

      Eddie:    "No Carlsberg and Fosters mainly."

      Tommy:    "I wouldn't waste your breath on him Wayne. He's a victim of modern society, so dependant on alcohol he has lost all sense of humour unless there's a can in his hand."

      Wayne:    "You're one depressing sod you Tommy."

      Tommy:    "Well if you can find another excuse I'd be interested in knowing what it is."

      Wayne:    "Maybe he's just a tit."

      Shelia:    "Wayne. Out. I told everyone before no swearing."

      Wayne:    "You must have some good hearing you girl because I didn't swear."

      Shelia:    "No arguements. Out."

      Wayne trotteled out with his head shaking.

      Rachel:    "Do you need help on your homework now Chris?"

      Chris:    "Oh yes please Rachel. How do you know all this stuff?"

      Rachel:    "I did all this stuff when I was 14 as well."

      Chris:    "How old are you now?"

      Rachel:    "Nearly twice your age."

      Chris:    "Let me work that out. That's about...40?"

      Rachel:    "Close enough Chris. Come on what is it today?"

      Chris:    "History."

      Shelia:    "If you don't pipe down you'll be history."

      Chris' bottom lip began to quiver and didn't say another word while he and Rachel got on with his homework.

      Emma:    "Can I sit here Tommy?"

      Tommy:    "Sure, nobody else is using that chair."

      Emma:    "What's made you so angry?"

      Tommy:    "Society. The streets I grew up on are what made me this way. I saw the way people had to live and how nobody helped them. I saw the people who were supposed to help swanning off in their private jets to holiday destinations, leaving the average joe in the street to make do with their own problems."

      Emma:    "But you've got through that. Now is the time to be happy."

      Tommy:    "What have I got to be happy for? Just so another man with a posh accent, wearing a suit can come and wipe the smile off my face again? I'm sick of living behind a plastic smile."

      Emma:    "What if the smile wasn't plastic? What if it was a genuine smile?"

      Tommy:    "And how does that come about?"

      Emma:    "Well if I told you that never again will a man in a suit bother you, would you smile?"

      Tommy:    "No, because it'd only be a lie."

      Emma:    "If I told you that your street is getting a make over would you smile?"

      Tommy:    "No, I'd let the more gullable folk on my road smile for me."

      Emma:    "If I told you that I wanted to you out for a meal tonight, would you smile?"

      Tommy smiled shyly.

      Emma:    "Is that a smile?"

      Tommy:    "I don't know. It's be so long since I last smiled I've forgotten what it looks like."

      Emma let out a loud laugh and then signalled to Tommy that it was time to go for the meal.

      Jo:    "I can't believe she's going with him."

      Sammy:    "Leave her. She's been with everyone else."

      Jo:    "So have you to be fair."

      Sammy:    "I was with them first though."

      Jo:    "Is it a race?"

      Sammy:    "Nah, but I like getting there first."

      Jo:    "Well you been with Eddie?"

      Sammy:    "Behave."

      Jo:    "A race then between you and me for him."

      Sammy:    "I'd rather just let you win."

      Jo:    "Hundred pound on it."

      Sammy:    "Eddie come here babe."

      Jo:    "Simple as."

      Jodie got up and started talking to Eddie as well.

      Dan:    "I'm getting off now. Thanks for letting me use the computer Shelia."

      Rachel:    "Yeah I'm going to. Good luck tomorrow Chris."

      Chris:    "Will you walk me home please Rachel?"

      Sammy:    "You live next door Chris."

      Chris:    "My mum says I've always gotta be walked up at night. It's not safe."

      Rachel:    "Sure I'll walk you home Chris. Come on."

      Everybody left around the same time leaving Shelia on her own.

      Shelia:    "Another day down. Thank god, now I can go and play the friggin' games on the internet. I wonder if Wayne would lower me down? Hmmm, it's a worth a try."

      Shelia locked the doors and made her way to the nearest computer.

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