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      The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread

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      RedPuppy
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15962: Jul 29, 2018 01:19:52 pm
      There's something pathetically immature about that guy. A genuinely sad individual.

      Yes there is, those videos reminds me of the Warlock in DieHard 4



      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIfcMHpINKY
      Frankly, Mr Shankly
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15963: Jul 29, 2018 01:32:28 pm
      Mourinho called it the 'kids' vs 'Liverpool first team'.

      So how come I'm hearing rumours that Man Utd's 'kids' squad still had an average age that was older than Liverpool's first team??
      MIRO
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15964: Jul 29, 2018 05:01:12 pm
      I never really hated Mourinho. He does deserve respect based on the fact he has won titles with all his team except United. Which is f***in' HILARIOUS. 

      But, I got the feeling he was wrecked after losing the Chelsea job, twice and if reports are true, he lost the Chelsea locker room. Watching him now, it seems like he HATES being at United.  Which is shocking because supposedly, United was his dream job. He's either severly depressed or he he just lost whatever fire he had. He's no longer "Special", he's not even the best Mgr in Manchester.
      Every presser he looks miserable. This is a man who looks like hes on his way to the gallows and now were hearing that some United players are not happy. Except for Fabinho, who is very happy. Oh wait, Klopp sniped him from Mourinho and THATS why he's happy  Dont get me wrong I LOVE every single second of the car crash that's going to be United 18'/19'. The only thing better than Mourinho crying into his sparkling water is waiting for the panic at the transfer close and see United buy Harry Maguire for 80 MILLION POUNDS. Oh...that will be sweet. ;D. 80 Million for Harry Maguire. By the laws of Manc logic, that  means well be hearing from the Manc tw*ts that Maguire is "better the Van Dijk"  Not to mention Uniteds biggest signing.. Fellani. ;D. Oh sh*t thats funny.How long until Mourinho loses and he starts blaming the pitch, refs, ball, congested fixures, lights, sun, moon, wind etc, etc.... then he'll claim the FA are bias and that he cant win with the $320 million  worth of signings he made.

      All very true.
      MIRO
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15965: Jul 29, 2018 06:37:01 pm
      Manu U forum in meltdown and things are as polarised over there as it was when Moyes was there.

      They are not happy bunnies and season three of Maureen's reign hasn't even started.

      There was a reminder by one of their subscribers that they have spent £600 million on players in 5 years.
      £350 million of that being down to the current manager.
      RedPuppy
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15966: Jul 29, 2018 06:37:07 pm
      Mourinho called it the 'kids' vs 'Liverpool first team'.

      So how come I'm hearing rumours that Man Utd's 'kids' squad still had an average age that was older than Liverpool's first team??

      You heard it because;
      1. It's true.
      2. Maureen is a dead man walking.
      3. He needs as many excuses he can, to reiterate the falsehood that he relies upon, that the world is against him.
      Frankly, Mr Shankly
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15967: Jul 29, 2018 06:45:38 pm
      You heard it because;
      1. It's true.
      2. Maureen is a dead man walking.
      3. He needs as many excuses he can, to reiterate the falsehood that he relies upon, that the world is against him.

      He's just a tinpot Trump.
      HUYTON RED
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15968: Jul 30, 2018 04:37:10 pm

      An absolute blert from Nottingham who doesn't go the match and definitely has aspirations of being the next Jeff Stelling.

      Majority of Utd's match-going supporters on Twitter can't stand him either!
      MIRO
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15969: Jul 31, 2018 01:47:55 pm

      A month ago, when England were looking forward to a World Cup semi-final and as pre-season training for Europe's major clubs was just getting started, Manchester United's final US tour match against Real Madrid had a major question mark over it.

      Gareth Bale would be involved. But who for?

      Fast forward four weeks and, though England did not find their utopia, Bale is happy enough, laughing and joking with his Real team-mates in Miami, his short-term future at the Bernabeu assured by new coach Julen Lopetegui.

      But as they prepare for Wednesday's game, the question mark over United remains. If anything, it is bigger than before.

      Manager Jose Mourinho's comments in the labyrinth of rooms at the Michigan Stadium on Saturday after a 4-1 loss to Liverpool saw to that.

      So, it is time to ask the question. What is going on with Mourinho and Manchester United?

         Why does Mourinho seem so unhappy?

      In front of the cameras, Mourinho has not been a jovial character for some time.

      Something - probably the scars of dealing with the Madrid media during his time as Real boss - happened between his first stint at Chelsea and his second. Whatever it was, it has taken away the public geniality of the self-proclaimed 'Special One'.

      Nevertheless, the breadth of the targets he fired at during his tetchy 10-minute post-match news conference after the loss to Liverpool was jaw-dropping.

      He lamented the absence of senior players, decried the standard of some of the younger ones who are here, wistfully reflected on a transfer target he will not get, highlighted inactivity on one he still expects to, expressed frustration at injuries, invited senior players to return to training early, and questioned why supporters would pay to watch his team.

      In a less well-publicised part of his news conference, he thanked defender Eric Bailly for stepping in to replace another senior player - Chris Smalling - at the weekend, then immediately rejected the Ivorian as a leader. Speaking to United's TV station, he accused new captain Antonio Valencia of returning from his summer break out of shape. In addition, he ridiculed the standard of a referee who gave two penalties against his team.

      Wide-ranging is a good description.

      The key point is this: does Mourinho harbour a growing sense of genuine unhappiness at all these supposed sources of irritation, is he trying to make points, or is he attempting to deflect attention from a heavy defeat at the hands of a major rival?

      If it is the last of those, it is a long-established managerial tactic. The middle one could go either way. But if it is the former, then a stereotypical full-blown third-year explosion - the type Mourinho is always so quick to reject when asked about - is on the way.
      Is his relationship with the club strained?

      There are two reactions to what Mourinho did on Saturday.

      One is to raise an eyebrow, say it is typical of him, express sympathy with his situation and move on.

      This is exactly what a number of influential people within the club are doing. After all, the Portuguese signed a new contract in January that not only improved his terms, but extended his tenure to 2020.

      The relationship between Mourinho and executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward has repeatedly been described as strong by both men, so, presumably, potential conflict areas within summer transfer dealings would have been covered within the negotiations. It is also probable a vision for the short-term future would have been agreed. Why would that suddenly change because one transfer target was missed - which is only what has happened in the previous two summers?

      An alternative view, and there are other long-standing United figures who are leaning towards this, is Mourinho wants out, and this is the start of his exit strategy.

      One thing that is certain is that, for the first time in his illustrious managerial career, Mourinho will not have Rui Faria by his side this season.

      The pair have been inseparable since Mourinho appointed Faria - a man he describes as "a brother" - assistant at Uniao Leiria in 2001.

      However, last season, Faria - feeling he wasn't getting to see enough of his family and exhausted by the pressures of day-to-day involvement at the very top of the game - decided to take a break.

      Mourinho has opted not to bring in a direct replacement. In Michael Carrick and Kieran McKenna, he has added both a club stalwart who has huge knowledge of the game and an appetite to learn, and someone whose reputation at both United and previous club Tottenham is enormous.

      Given United finished last season 19 points behind arch-rivals Manchester City - whose manager Pep Guardiola vies with Mourinho for the title of greatest manager of their generation - and have not done much to suggest the gap can be closed, Saturday's comments are being interpreted by those who have adopted the exit-strategy theory as the start of a long goodbye.
      Are United at risk of falling behind their rivals?

      United's only significant signing so far this summer has been Brazil midfielder Fred. Another central defender is expected, although who that is remains uncertain.

      Nevertheless, both men will be among the top six most expensive players United have ever bought.

      Of the other four, only Argentina forward Angel di Maria is no longer at the club. In midfielder Paul Pogba and forward Anthony Martial, two remain who have not come close to performing at their top level on a consistent basis.

      Mourinho was not responsible for Martial's arrival from Monaco. His view is the Frenchman goes missing at key times, hence his keenness to sign Croatia's Ivan Perisic, both last summer and this, from Inter Milan.

      The 55-year-old was responsible for Bailly, fellow defender Victor Lindelof and forward Alexis Sanchez - for a combined fee of just under £100m. They are yet to make a significant impact at Old Trafford.

      At the same time, there is an element of the unknown about all United's major rivals.

      Manchester City's only summer signing is Riyad Mahrez, an attacking player the champions arguably do not need. Tottenham have signed no-one yet. Arsenal's most expensive addition of the brief Unai Emery era so far is Uruguay midfielder Lucas Torreira who, at £26m, cost just over half the £47m United have spent on Fred. Chelsea did not even appoint their new manager, Maurizio Sarri, until after pre-season training had started.

      Of all the major clubs, Liverpool are the ones who appear to have significant forward momentum. Yet three of their four major signings - midfielders Naby Keita and Fabinho, and goalkeeper Alisson - have never played in the Premier League before.

      So, while it is easy to feel United are going backwards, it can be argued that if Mourinho gets more from the players he has already invested so much in, they won't be far away from the major prizes.
      What does it mean for United's season?

      As with all clubs, results can quickly change perceptions.

      The Red Devils open the Premier League as a whole when they entertain Leicester on 10 August.

      Mourinho has already highlighted how much easier the build-up to the new campaign has been for Foxes boss Claude Puel, given so few of his players were at the World Cup in Russia.

      This is true. But Jamie Vardy and Harry Maguire were away with England until the semi-final stage, and Mahrez has been sold.

      Will they cause an upset on the opening day? Perhaps not; it is so long since Leicester won at Old Trafford the match-winner, in 1998, was Tony Cottee.

      The Foxes may have won the Premier League more recently than United, yet nothing that has happened since suggests they are close to the level Mourinho's side are capable of reaching on home soil.

      After that, United have trips to Brighton and Burnley, who could be going into the game on the back of a sixth successive Thursday night appearance in the Europa League.

      Between those two away fixtures is a Monday night date with Tottenham on 27 August. As well as not making a signing so far this summer, Spurs had eight players involved on the last weekend of the World Cup, compared to United's seven.

      So of all the big clubs expected to be challenging for major honours, Spurs are arguably in an even worse situation than United when it comes to their preparation for what lies ahead.

      As Arsenal have matches against Manchester City and Chelsea over the first two weekends, it leaves Liverpool as the only 'big-six' club who do not meet a rival before the first international break.

      So, while Mourinho has legitimate grounds to grumble at the difficult build-up he is having to work around, most of his managerial adversaries are in a similar position.

      By the time that Burnley trip is done and the top-flight season halts for its first international break, much more will be known about where United - and everybody else for that matter - actually are.

      From there, Mourinho's pronouncements will have much more meaning.

      shabbadoo
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15970: Jul 31, 2018 03:04:53 pm
      3 season itch is upon the Manc's...Jose looking for an excuse out... 😆
      waltonl4
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15971: Jul 31, 2018 03:18:03 pm
      3 season itch is upon the Manc's...Jose looking for an excuse out... 😆

      complain about lack of signings......check
      pick on players...…………………………...check
      complain about the signings of other teams...check
      pick fight with Chief Exec...……………check
      bang on about his record...…………..check
      All sound familiar doesn't it.
      Keith Singleton
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15972: Jul 31, 2018 04:09:42 pm
      complain about lack of signings......check
      pick on players...…………………………...check
      complain about the signings of other teams...check
      pick fight with Chief Exec...……………check
      bang on about his record...…………..check
      All sound familiar doesn't it.

      All sounds familiar doesn't it. check  :D
      heimdall
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15973: Jul 31, 2018 04:18:18 pm

      All sounds familiar doesn't it. check  :D

      What's your views on Maureen now Keith, still happy with him or getting a bit annoyed as many of your fellow fans are, plus how do you feel about the transfer window?
      Keith Singleton
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15974: Jul 31, 2018 07:04:44 pm
      What's your views on Maureen now Keith, still happy with him or getting a bit annoyed as many of your fellow fans are, plus how do you feel about the transfer window?

      Man it's never easy with Mourhino we all know that.  ??? Annoyed the wrong word. Probably anxious is what I'm looking for. Mourhino not happy unless he's moaning about something. This for me is his defining season.

      We have seen from last year playing defensively isn't going to win you the league the way City & Liverpool are playing. As a fan, yes I'm getting frustrated and would like to see us attack more this season. Can Mourhino change his ways? Highly unlikely but I can only hope, I fear the worse if he doesn't.

      Like many United fans the transfer market this summer has been a nightmare. Not really improved the side so based on that can't win the league. For me City will walk it again and you lads will finish second.

      The 18/19 season is the first in a very very long time I actually think Liverpool will win a Trophy  :(  ;D Klopp has bought exceptionally well building the new look Liverpool over the last two transfer markets.
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15975: Jul 31, 2018 07:28:13 pm
      Man it's never easy with Mourhino we all know that.  ??? Annoyed the wrong word. Probably anxious is what I'm looking for. Mourhino not happy unless he's moaning about something. This for me is his defining season.

      We have seen from last year playing defensively isn't going to win you the league the way City & Liverpool are playing. As a fan, yes I'm getting frustrated and would like to see us attack more this season. Can Mourhino change his ways? Highly unlikely but I can only hope, I fear the worse if he doesn't.

      Like many United fans the transfer market this summer has been a nightmare. Not really improved the side so based on that can't win the league. For me City will walk it again and you lads will finish second.

      The 18/19 season is the first in a very very long time I actually think Liverpool will win a Trophy  :(  ;D Klopp has bought exceptionally well building the new look Liverpool over the last two transfer markets.

      Do you still have as much faith in Jose as you have done previously? Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you say you are a big fan of his?

      Its strange with Jose, the longer he stays at a club the more paranoid and bitter he seems to get...3rd season usually. He had a complete meltdown at the Chavs and they were flirting with the teams down the bottom at one point, on the back of winning the league. This time his meltdown has happened before the season has even started, it’s never really taken him much to lose the backing of his players but surely it’s a real concern going into the new season? The amount of money he’s spent and he’s still crying out for more.
      Obviously you will want to think the best going into the new season but realistically, if he’s there all season, what are you expecting. I can honestly see them slipping right down the table, think he’s completely lost the support of his players after his meltdown, was no need for it. I’d be concerned if it was us.
      Keith Singleton
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15976: Jul 31, 2018 09:24:55 pm
      Do you still have as much faith in Jose as you have done previously? Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you say you are a big fan of his?

      Its strange with Jose, the longer he stays at a club the more paranoid and bitter he seems to get...3rd season usually. He had a complete meltdown at the Chavs and they were flirting with the teams down the bottom at one point, on the back of winning the league. This time his meltdown has happened before the season has even started, it’s never really taken him much to lose the backing of his players but surely it’s a real concern going into the new season? The amount of money he’s spent and he’s still crying out for more.
      Obviously you will want to think the best going into the new season but realistically, if he’s there all season, what are you expecting. I can honestly see them slipping right down the table, think he’s completely lost the support of his players after his meltdown, was no need for it. I’d be concerned if it was us.

      You really should change your name to Mr archives KK as I know you always dig deep for past post.  ;D  Yes I'm still a big fan of him but obviously I'm hoping he mixes up this year (( he has too ))

      He's not on meltdown just yet but certainly on a downer that's for sure. Certainly don't think there is a issue with the dressing room and that's just the usual tabloids bullshit. We have the players to make a challenge of such but as I've already stated he has to change his formation some what for me which is very hard for Mourinho to do.  :-\

      Klopp has spent more than Mourhino whilst they have both been with their respective clubs but if you look back in the archives  ( ;D) you'll know that's never been a issue with me as a fan. Doesn't bother me if we spent 500 million in one transfer window as long as it potentially improves the team.

      Based on transfer window I'm not sure I can expect anything trophy wise. Just hoping he reads my message on here and comes out playing the attacking mode like you and City.  ;D
      HUYTON RED
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15977: Aug 01, 2018 12:42:21 am


       :lmao:
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15978: Aug 01, 2018 05:02:32 am
      You really should change your name to Mr archives KK as I know you always dig deep for past post.  ;D  Yes I'm still a big fan of him but obviously I'm hoping he mixes up this year (( he has too ))

      He's not on meltdown just yet but certainly on a downer that's for sure. Certainly don't think there is a issue with the dressing room and that's just the usual tabloids bullshit. We have the players to make a challenge of such but as I've already stated he has to change his formation some what for me which is very hard for Mourinho to do.  :-\

      Klopp has spent more than Mourhino whilst they have both been with their respective clubs but if you look back in the archives  ( ;D) you'll know that's never been a issue with me as a fan. Doesn't bother me if we spent 500 million in one transfer window as long as it potentially improves the team.

      Based on transfer window I'm not sure I can expect anything trophy wise. Just hoping he reads my message on here and comes out playing the attacking mode like you and City.  ;D

      Why are you on about archives? I haven’t looked back at anything. Difference with our spending though is that it’s come at the expense of Coutinho, Jose hasn’t lost anyone of any significance.
      Usual Manc reply though I guess, ask a question about how you realistically see he current situation and it turns into our spending and little digs about archives for some strange reason...
      Keith Singleton
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15979: Aug 01, 2018 06:54:36 am
      Why are you on about archives? I haven’t looked back at anything. Difference with our spending though is that it’s come at the expense of Coutinho, Jose hasn’t lost anyone of any significance.
      Usual Manc reply though I guess, ask a question about how you realistically see he current situation and it turns into our spending and little digs about archives for some strange reason...

      Your like a elephant, you simply doesnt forget as a rule and when you do your on your search engines  ;D Doesn't matter where it comes from its still part of the club. Your for ever having snips at my post so have a little back and chew on them.  ;D  Its all fun though, least on my part it is. Try not to be so negative and lighten up with some banter occasionally Mr A.  ;D
      ConzS
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15980: Aug 01, 2018 08:02:02 am
      Liverpool do in one season what clubs like United, Chelsea and City have been doing for a decade + and everybody decides to jump on the bandwagon that Liverpool spend big. People will never see eye to eye about net spend but, at the end of the day, if you are losing your best players every season(and getting £140m in the process) you need to rebuild.

      I’d be interested to see the comparison between both the price and salaries of Utd’s and Liverpool’s squads. I don’t think it would be close.
      heimdall
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15981: Aug 01, 2018 08:04:15 am
      You really should change your name to Mr archives KK as I know you always dig deep for past post.  ;D  Yes I'm still a big fan of him but obviously I'm hoping he mixes up this year (( he has too ))

      He's not on meltdown just yet but certainly on a downer that's for sure. Certainly don't think there is a issue with the dressing room and that's just the usual tabloids bullshit. We have the players to make a challenge of such but as I've already stated he has to change his formation some what for me which is very hard for Mourinho to do.  :-\

      Klopp has spent more than Mourhino whilst they have both been with their respective clubs but if you look back in the archives  ( ;D) you'll know that's never been a issue with me as a fan. Doesn't bother me if we spent 500 million in one transfer window as long as it potentially improves the team.

      Based on transfer window I'm not sure I can expect anything trophy wise. Just hoping he reads my message on here and comes out playing the attacking mode like you and City.  ;D

      I'm fairly sure that Maureen's net spend in his time at Man Utd compared to Jürgen's at Liverpool is much much higher Keith, remember that this window is the first window where we have spent any serious money, above what we have received form player sales, approx. £100m. MOst other windows were either a profit or net spend of approx. £20m.
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15982: Aug 01, 2018 10:37:57 am
      I'm fairly sure that Maureen's net spend in his time at Man Utd compared to Jürgen's at Liverpool is much much higher Keith, remember that this window is the first window where we have spent any serious money, above what we have received form player sales, approx. £100m. MOst other windows were either a profit or net spend of approx. £20m.

      It may well  be. Its just something that i heard on Sky Sports News. Im all for spending serious money, especially  when its United spending it and not our rivals  :lmao:
      lfc across the water
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15983: Aug 02, 2018 07:08:41 am
      Quote from Keith Singleton
      Man it's never easy with Mourhino we all know that.  ??? Annoyed the wrong word. Probably anxious is what I'm looking for. Mourhino not happy unless he's moaning about something. This for me is his defining season.

      We have seen from last year playing defensively isn't going to win you the league the way City & Liverpool are playing. As a fan, yes I'm getting frustrated and would like to see us attack more this season. Can Mourhino change his ways? Highly unlikely but I can only hope, I fear the worse if he doesn't.

      Like many United fans the transfer market this summer has been a nightmare. Not really improved the side so based on that can't win the league. For me City will walk it again and you lads will finish second.

      Lots of people thought Chelsea would walk it 12 months ago, instead they walked out of the top 4. It's very hard to retain this league, let alone walk it in the process. It hasn't been done in 10 years, and it appears City are struggling so far, with modest results, uninspiring signings, and another coach that thinks missing WC players in pre season only applies to his side.

      But you won't be winning the league, now the third season syndrome is already in full swing. He won't change his ways and he won't attack any more than he has to. You knew that would be the case when he arrived. He was brought in for the quick fix, and he didn't fix it quick enough.

      So I have my "Can't Win The League Day" post ready to go again.
      Keith Singleton
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      Re: The Official: Laugh At The Mancs Thread
      Reply #15984: Aug 02, 2018 09:03:30 am
      Lots of people thought Chelsea would walk it 12 months ago, instead they walked out of the top 4. It's very hard to retain this league, let alone walk it in the process. It hasn't been done in 10 years, and it appears City are struggling so far, with modest results, uninspiring signings, and another coach that thinks missing WC players in pre season only applies to his side.

      But you won't be winning the league, now the third season syndrome is already in full swing. He won't change his ways and he won't attack any more than he has to. You knew that would be the case when he arrived. He was brought in for the quick fix, and he didn't fix it quick enough.

      So I have my "Can't Win The League Day" post ready to go again.

      Who was the last team to win it back to back.  :f_whistle:  ;D I wouldn't take any notice of the pre friendly soft any of the top teams. It means jack sh*t being honest. City will win the league again. No one has improved their side enough to to take them on, Obviously Liverpool appear to have bought exceptional well and will be the biggest challengers but I still think the gap is to big.

      Course you can have your can't win the league day. I've been saying that about you lot for years.  :lmao:

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