Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but the tooth fairy is Gary Glitter.

I wish all women were sexually attracted to me.

Granted, but that includes all Tranny's as well...

I wish i had a pink Unicorn.

granted but it's not toilet trained
 I wish draught Guinness came out of the water taps

Granted,but it's mixed with poison.

I wish I didn't have the smell of sea water in my mouth right now.

Granted but, (wait WTF the smell of sea water? What have you been doing?) you'd have the smell of sh*t in your mouth.

I wish I had new headphones for my iPod cuz my current ones are broken and too short.

Granted, but electricity comes out of them and not music.

I wish M & S was open 24 hours a day so I could go and buy a cheesecake right now.

Granted, but unknown to you, the M & S was reversed and you now have to have a 24 stone hairy caveman do things to you with cheesecake.

I wish I could invent a time machine.

Granted but it takes you back to that time you were bullied by a fat girl with a lisp who has a fetish for dishing out pain

I wish I was the band Saturdays personal masseur

Granted, but then you'll realise there full of warts and boils and also 3 are tranny's!! 

I wish i had one of these...

Granted, but it will turn into this and try to get into bed with you and lick your ear.



I wish I had x ray eyes.

Granted but you can only see the skeleton ...not through clothes

I wish I could get to 1000 post already !!!

Granted but then you have to start again.

I wish my neck wasn't hurting from lying awkwardly last night.

Granted but it stopped hurting because this guy massaged it


I wish I could go to Anfield.

Granted but, (wait WTF the smell of sea water? What have you been doing?) you'd have the smell of sh*t in your mouth.

Was on a day trip to an outdoor pursuit centre,yesterday.

Ergh Dmasta!

Granted but you have to visit Goodison Park on the way and wear a dirty blue shirt

I wish I had one of these...

AWWWWWWWWWWW It's so cute ! I can totally imagine  you carrying it in a  large coach bag .

I wish I was related to Gerrard

Granted, you're his mum.

I wish I had a new iPod.

Granted, but its a broken one

I wish I could read minds.

Granted, read mine and your wish will be corrupted

I wish I had an Audi R8.

Granted...



I wish I had a season ticket.

Granted, a season ticket for Accrington Stanley

I wish I don't have an Audi R8 (So I can ... If someone corrupts it for me )

Granted you don't have an Audi R8, you have:

I wish I had some chocolate to eat right now.