Porn Films

They've gotta be the biggest waste of time since Learn Yourself French was translated into French.

They have no story line, it's a bird showing her tits then 1 second later she's shagging some bloke with every ten minutes being interrupted by her getting dressed again. And that's the gist for an hour an a half.

Now, I may be wrong here, but I don't too many girls who wear nothing but bra and knickers every single day.

Once you've seen one porno, there's no need for a second because it's the same sh*t. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Credits.

Hahaha!

All I can say is you've watched too many.

All i can say is,you have just seen a few bad ones!!!theres plenty of variety out there!!

Once you've seen one porno, there's no need for a second because it's the same sh*t.

I don't watch the porno thinking I will see something different

If a porno had something different, i would be pissed off

I want to see what i think I am going to see

No, DLS. It's more; tits, shag, shag, shag, stupid story line, shag, refer back to story line, shag, credits.

you guys are watching the wrong porn. Get some with class, a bit of build up, storyline, and excellent tits.

you can never watch too much porn. FACT

Yoi boys arw  going yo go blind

Yoi boys arw  going yo go blind

Too much porn makes your typing go daft.

Or was that, not enough porn?

Porn allows man to indulge in his all time #1 hobby.

And that's fine with me.

No need to explain mate, your forum name gives it away.

Porn allows man to indulge in his all time #1 hobby.

Film critiquing?

They've gotta be the biggest waste of time since Learn Yourself French was translated into French.

They have no story line, it's a bird showing her tits then 1 second later she's shagging some bloke with every ten minutes being interrupted by her getting dressed again. And that's the gist for an hour an a half.

Now, I may be wrong here, but I don't too many girls who wear nothing but bra and knickers every single day.

Once you've seen one porno, there's no need for a second because it's the same sh*t. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Credits.

CREDITS?....Do they have Credits?  I dont believe I ever made it to the credits. Its not like the "Key Grip" or "Gaff" is going to show his Mom and Dad. "Hey Mom, Look there's my name in the credits of "Filthy Ass Blasters 7"

'Hey Mum!!! I was stunt cock in Inter-racial Hole Stretchers 2!!!'

That would be awesome.

...followed by...

"Mum...Dad...i have syphilis."

The tits, shag, clothes is a tried and tested formula, why F**k about with it now?

There is a thing called a Fast Forward button you know 

If porn offends you that much, feel free to send me your collection

I will take it off your hands

Have you tried midget porn Billy?

I find it generally to be 'oo yeah baby, nice ass, nice titties', blowjob, cunnilingus, variety of positions, bit of 'ass' slapping, thumb up the bum, anal - followed by a nice dollop of wallop in the mouth.

Why change a winning formula?

Or, Billy, you could try Animal Farm... :

P.S. I've been dying to look at this thread but had no internet at home so was in work! Oh the blessed relief!

Once you've seen one porno, there's no need for a second because it's the same sh*t. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Tit, shag, clothes. Credits.

What sort of piss-poor porn are you watching DLS? Not a fecking Dwarf, Granny or Donkey in sight and not even a hint of defecation? Pffftt. 

He's watching wayne rooney's home-made porn movies. The donkey fu**ed off through fear (Shrek F***ing would scare anyone), coleen the midget wasn't there - it was grannies only. As for the defecation? He only shits on his boyhood club.

xhamster.com

great british porn on there.

haha

Why watch porn, when you can fill your other half full of vodka and red bull and get the toys out

I love porn, but i also love to just watch my girlfriend..

I would also say if you think all porns are the same broaden your search.. i like old school Swedish hardcore, or Debbie does Dallas etc classics, old school baps are much better than modern silicone tits.

"Hey Mom, Look there's my name in the credits of "Filthy Ass Blasters 7"

Possibly the greatest quote of all time?

I prefer storyline s to be honest don't know why i just do !

I saw one where a guy and girl were on a 'blind date' and started playing STRIP MONOPOLY.

That's what i am talking about .

Who needs porn when you've got 'Team America World Police' on DVD.

wow 'stunt cock' how come my careers officer never mentioned that job to me ?

Left Handed Mouse Sale!

CREDITS?....Do they have Credits?  I dont believe I ever made it to the credits. Its not like the "Key Grip" or "Gaff" is going to show his Mom and Dad. "Hey Mom, Look there's my name in the credits of "Filthy Ass Blasters 7"

F**k being "Best Boy" in "Filthy Ass Blasters7"  Jesus!!!!!!!

F**k being "Best Boy" in "Filthy Ass Blasters7"  Jesus!!!!!!!

Quality comment...!!!

Check out John Thompsons "German Goo Girls" videos....I await your comments!

CREDITS?....Do they have Credits?

Nice one.

just type 2 girls 1 cup in to google it's enough to put you off porn for life

just type 2 girls 1 cup in to google it's enough to put you off porn for life

Hahahaha everyone. Don't. Seriously.

Did you do it, you lemon?

Hahahaha everyone. Don't. Seriously.

Minging innit ross

Did you do it, you lemon?

Yeah.

No. I've seen it before, in school of all places.

Minging innit ross

Understatement.

I haven't. I'm still not doing it though.

I haven't. I'm still not doing it though.

Be you curiosity is killing you though Gow

Good. For your mental health that is.

I've seen tonnes of filth in the last week in my lifetime.

just type 2 girls 1 cup in to google it's enough to put you off porn for life

Cant believe what i just saw, You b***ard Dar

I knew someone would. I F***ing knew it!

I knew someone would. I f**king knew it!

Never again am i listening to you lot

I'm disturbed now, i need a can of Beer to settle me stomach

Cant believe what I just saw, You b***ard Dar

Sorry kenny mate, thats just wrong  in the highest sense aint it ?

I knew someone would. I f**king knew it!

Curiosity killed the cat Ross  

I'm not gonna look that up.

I googled it and read about it. See, I'm a librarian. I escaped the visuals.

I'm not gonna look that up.

its not that bad I swear

I googled it and read about it. See, I'm a librarian. I escaped the visuals.

Ah sure your half way there now :

Well, it does it for some people I guess.

EDIT: Load of sh*t if you ask me.

its not that bad I swear

I just did what Gow did no way am I looking that up just by reading it I have to say.

The other halfs looking at me strangely as tho to say why are you sat laughing hysterically at your lap top screen  

Well, it does it for some people I guess.

EDIT: Load of sh*t if you ask me.

I know what what you mean, That Daryl one started it :

The other halfs looking at me strangely as tho to say why are you sat laughing hysterically at your lap top screen 

Show her. Then let her post what she thinks on here.

I just did what Gow did no way am I looking that up just by reading it I have to say.

No your right mate, Stay well clear.

No way she'll ban me from internet access again  

The other halfs looking at me strangely as tho to say why are you sat laughing hysterically at your lap top screen 

Your not still watching the video are ye? :

No way she'll ban me from internet access again 

She caught you on it before?

Could of sworn Watchmen was a porno.

No way she'll ban me from internet access again  

Nah i'm just laughing at you kenny mate actuall going for it , doesnt help i'm half pissed also

Boc boc boc boc

No way she'll ban me from internet access again  

Oh i see how it is in that house..

Might give ya fingers a break and some other posters a chance to catch up

Nah i'm not chicken but were sat having a few drinks and showing her that is the difference betwen getting frisky with her or sleeping on the couch

Nah I'm just laughing at you kenny mate actuall going for it , doesnt help I'm half pissed also

Ah im have way pissed myself no thanks to you.

I sent the link to my perv Brother inlaw, He just text me saying  "Your dead tomorrow"  

He didnt find it a turn on so

Two girls and a cup? Thats just naughty, no need in it at all 

Guess who showed me? The mother, I wasnt happy at all.....

Two girls and a cup? Thats just naughty, no need in it at all 

Guess who showed me? The mother, I wasnt happy at all.....

Your mum showed you?

Hahahahahahaha!

Two girls and a cup? Thats just naughty, no need in it at all 

Guess who showed me? The Mother, I wasnt happy at all.....

EH shocked is all i can say

Two girls and a cup? Thats just naughty, no need in it at all 

Guess who showed me? The mother, I wasnt happy at all.....

F**k i don't wanna know how your family christmases are run mate

Yeah, just walked away shaking my head. I can still remember her laughing now

Two girls and a cup? Thats just naughty, no need in it at all  

Guess who showed me? The mother, I wasnt happy at all.....

The mother ? she's obviously trying to put you of women, musnt want any grand kids

Possibly the most absurd thing I've ever heard.

The mother ? she's obviously trying to put you of women, musnt want any grand kids

Maybe, she was always saying she wouldnt mind if my brother was gay for no reason....

Maybe, she was always saying she wouldnt mind if my brother was gay for no reason....

Mate.. you need to get out!

Two words.

Social services.

Possibly the most absurd thing I've ever heard.

I don't know about that, I heard a bitter claiming they were going to win the league this year

Yeah, she wonders why im always at my birds house

Two words.

Social services.

You can allways count on Gow for a quick witted one liner

Yeah, she wonders why im always at my birds house

It's because you prefer the real thing in it mate.

You know, you, your bird, her mate and a cup.

Im the cup haha

Im the cup haha

Throw in a glass coffee table mate and i'm right there with you

Haha that's wrong, nearly as bad as 2 girls

Would you prefer two lads then Daz_La_Mon?

Daz need his own thread. Or his own board. Or a solicitor.

Daz need his own thread. Or his own board. Or a solicitor.

Maybe all three ?, chuck in a therapist and I think he's sorted

Daz's solicitor ties Daz's therapist to Daz's board with Daz's thread. That's gotta be worth a gamble eh Daz?

As long as theyre all female and there are plenty of cups im not complaining

Daz's solicitor ties Daz's therapist to Daz's board with Daz's thread. That's gotta be worth a gamble eh Daz?

You forgot the cup DLS

As long as theyre all female and there are plenty of cups im not complaining

And ya mum there watching?

As long as theyre all female and there are plenty of cups im not complaining

Polystyrene or china?

And ya mum there watching?

Dunno, it might be a bit too wierd. I'll see on the day

Dunno, it might be a bit too wierd. I'll see on the day

Don't forget the peanuts, they make the sh*t run smoother