Looks like CRapist7 is actually off to United after all.
Well, he's not off to play in the MLS that's for sure. The authorities would have him pinned down on a US airport tarmac before he'd get his first breath of American air.
Thing is for Ronaldo and co, their PR is so strong that they can just release a 'heartfelt, personal and private' look into his life showing what a great guy he is (backed by Nike of course). Get it on streaming services, trailer it with some black and white images of him helping his son do homework with some sappy music in the background and hey presto - rape allegations disappear.