Slur Alex whisky-nosed 'orrible old sour-faced c**t Taggart Altime greatest diving scout(born 31 December 1341 in Parkhead, Glasgow) is a Scottish diving manager who spends most of his time using his vast wealth, sorry, 'tactical acumen' (of which a dormouse with a prefrontal labotomy possesses more than "Old squeaky bum") to make Manchester United the biggest bunch of whingeing, cheating tw*ts in the history of the universe. Although only became a household name when he wed Falkirk based East Stirwingshire FC to their first ever domestic league victory in 1974. In his spare time, Fergie dresses up in a skirt and sings for the The Proclaimers. He is also described as the "biggest pr**k on Earth" by everyone associated with Manchester United F.C.
F***ing Career of the F***ing coach who manages F***ing teams
Alex Ferguson intellectual superiority he was a dumbass in other words!!! apparent at an early age. Amazingly at the age of 1 years old he said his first swear word. He then went on to graduate at Oxford University with first class degrees in Swearing, Bullshitting and Chewing non-stop (still to this day holds the world record for chewing every last fragment of a brain in the shortest time possible). In After a failed career as a striker, he then moved to Falkirk and finished his playing career at Ayr United when he was attacked by a seagull at Somerset Park, permanently destroying his achillies and rendering him unfit to play the game ever again. In 1721, Henry VIII recognized Alex Ferguson's abilities in getting rid of David Beckham and awarded a knighthood.
An interesting fact that not many people know about Sir Alex is that he holds the world record for chewing gum. And after the (not so shocking) discovery about him blowing pornaldo for staying at united and not go to his favourite and honourable team, Liverpool Fc. Ronaldo just started to cry (as usual) and went to a gay bar to stress down.When Ronaldo(a.k.a GAY-KING) wanted to leave to go to Real Madrid for 0.5$, sir alex gave him a offer that he could F**k his ass, So he and ronaldo fu**ed eachother on Old trafford's pitch at night, and ronaldo was satisfied & happy and decided to stay. 
Early Managerial Career
This prompted him to take up a career in football management after his public speeches for the Alex Ferguson/Kilory Alliance Party failed to win him the West Dumbarseshire seat in the general elections and prevented him from national domination. He did however lead a Scottish invasion with Archie Knox in 2002 and overthrew Jack McConnell and the remaining Scottish Parliament at Holyrood for three days, although had to retreat to Manchester and give up his power after David Beckham was reported to have broken a nail at their training ground.
Starting with the lowest of the low, he began football management at Manchester United, a football team from Manchester which is nowhere near United. They had never won a single domestic game (and have only won three since then) until Ferguson signed Roy Chubby Brown for a club record of £7.99. After they defeated local rivals Stenhousemuir 3-2, Ferguson became a household name and took over the ropes at St Mirren after much publicity. However, after a bitter dispute with the chairman after he asked for a 50p mix-up from the shop and claimed only to find 49 cola bottles in the bag, Ferguson was sacked as the Saints manager (No, he actually was!) and he went away into Glasgow and set up a pub called Fergies or something like that.
After his wife wanted to leave Glasgow due to Sectarian abuse (as a left handed Catholic Muslim), he then moved down to Aberdeen to join Real Aberdeen where he won the heart of the city when his team won the 1983 Aberdeenshire Cup in a gripping final against Keith (Eric Black and John Hewitt scoring the winning goals). As a reward he was given the freedom of the city and later appeared in The Sun newspaper's pg. 3 when he was caught streaking down the city's Union Street. He also won the Scottish Cup but famously ripped into his players after the full time whistle for doing something ridiculously appauling like allowing Aberdeen to win a domestic title. He also had a very brief spell as caretaker manager of the Scotland squad but later lost his post to fellow Scotsman Berti Vogts.
Man Utd Years
After leaving Aberdeen in mysterious circumstances (something involving a Ewe and an abortion appointment at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary according to the Daily Record), he rejoined a small team known as Manchester United. After cutting out the binge culture at the club, he saw the club rise from being a mediocre Ryman League North Division side into a Premiership team with international stars such as Bryan Robson, Steve Bruce and Jim Leighton (voted as World XXXIV goalkeeper in 1999). The team didn't do too well however as they were famously relegated, losing vital matches against premiership heavy weights such as Fiji FC, Goony State School Under 16s, and the Brisbane Broncos. Ferguson was under increasing pressure to resign after being caught in a Manchester chip shop asking for salt and vinegar on his chips. It was reported that Ferguson was repeated sexually molested upon leaving the shop.
He managed to turn the side around however with signings such as Massimo Taibi, Juan Sebastian Veron and Luke Chadwick that would turn the team into a team capable of taking over Europe.
At one point he managed to win the UEFA Champions League after paying bundles to the 4th official who added on a few extra minutes to the game against Bryan Munchen. 
However not all was fine and dandy as "Sir" Alex was found in the manchester changing rooms, snorting his chewing gum, he has since appeared in court several times and has strenuously denied the charges. He doesn't like the court because it smells funny and it makes his tummy go rumble.
As the result of numerous Premiership and FA Cup titles, Ferguson has become a likeable chap in footballing circles his most notable friends still in the game today being Kevin Keegan, Jaap Stam, Arsene Wenger, Jose Mourinho, Jim Leighton and David Beckham. Ferguson is also known for his cordial relationship with the BBC.
Fergie tried to do the impossible by trying (and failing) to win every single trophy possible. Due to this, he died after the Everton (FA Cup Semi-Final, played at Wembley) game after ranting about the pitch so much that his chewing gum got stuck in his windpipe. Luckily, Rob Styles was there to save the day and blow through Alex Fergusons arse hole, which caused the gum to unlodge itself. 
He is world reknown for bribing referees so they can win the What is the F***ing point (Carling) cup. This happened when spurs players were left assaulted but the ref told them to get up as he didnt see it. Therefore we should riot and have this man and everything he's won be removed froom him and those teams involved! If you are thinking, hell yeah, then edit this post to enter your name and we will have him sent back to the dire land where running water is a luxury, AIDS is most prominent, and oh yeah, they deep fry EVERYTHING, yes, I mean Scotland.
