Map Your Body: The Show Off Your Scars, Bruises, Broken Bones and such Thread

Gore fest time   Just been talking to a mate who's had a birthday yesterday and somehow we got on to talking about old injuries, scars and the like.

I have few, not massively impressive, but not bad.  Here they are, from the toes up...

Injury:  Dropped a G-clamp on my left foot in woodwork class.  That really hurt and broke a couple of toes.
Injury: snapped me ankle playing footie in lower sixth.  Heard it go, and hopped round the whole school building trying not to cry!  Worst thing about that was there was a night out planned so I had to go all strapped up.
Scar: Right leg, lower shin.  Just a nick to remove a cist that came back almost immediately.
Infiltration: Gravel in my left knee, good for bragging rights! (Although it can be argued you were a sh*t bike rider!)
Scar: Just below right knee.  Skiing accident, novice skiier overtaking going slightly uphill, only it wasn't uphill, it was a pile of logs.  Properly fu**ed my knee up that did for a while.
Scar: Back of left leg, just below my bum.  Fell on a barbed wire fence and got stuck.  Nasty one that was, but only needed a couple of stiches in the end.
Torso: scar free at the moment, as is my riight arm.
Scar: Left middle finger, caught in a door, ow, bit of a lump there now; Finger next to my thumb, chopped a slice of it off once when cooking; scar under my thumb from when I was 4 and I dropped a glass bowl and managed to slice my thumb nearly in two.

Scar: Left elbow, playing hockey for Uni against the mancs, at the mancs, F***ing went arse over tit leaving the changing rooms and sliced off a bit of bone.  Kept me shirt though after that    No-one wanted to wash the blood out

And last one is the top of my head.   Some mates were down in London for a birthday party, it ended up beng a lock in.  The fella whos birthday it was was a bizzy so the drinking went on for hours.  I swear to this day that I pushed the glass door open with my hands but the evidence is clear, I used my head and have the scar to prove it.

So fellow Reds, what damage have you inficted on your bodies?

I got hit in the head in hockey rushing out from a corner in sixth form...damn hockey balls are like rocks. Sliced me open good. 13 stitches, one scar and half the nerves in my forehead (half has no feeling) later and Im good to go!

Broke my ankle playing football when I was like 12. Some guy stood on my foot as I went for the ball and I fell and twisted round but my foot didnt move. Didnt feel anything at first. Just a very dull ache then I realised I couldnt walk. Fun.

Fractured my wrist ice skating...just fell over. I suck as skating.

I also get alot of bollock pain that comes from riding a sports motorcycle with an uncomfy seat.

Is this some sort of Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson type thing?I'll show you mine if you show me your's.Like a certain person with tne ironing board!!!

Here we go age of ten on
10, ruptured appendix almost croaked it on a drip for 9 days,
16, ran into wall 7 stiches in head ,
19, adhesions caused by previous op had to have another one to cut them off and untangle,
20, smashed nose wine bar brawl another op,
21,torn ankle and knee ligaments while out fishing six weeks in plaster,
22,tonsils out, plus a fractured skull involved in a bar room brawl got smashed over the head with a chair from behind first time, hit at least another three times with a chair so my mate later informed me ,that hurt.
27,scar on upper back had a cyst removed ,
38,compressed patella tendon training for london marathon ,another op out for 14 weeks.
 And that folks is all dont want any more .

Jesus i'd love to get involved in this thread but it would take me 8 hours, I'm like frankensteins monster, without the bolts

I got hit in the head in hockey rushing out from a corner in sixth form...damn hockey balls are like rocks. Sliced me open good. 13 stitches, one scar and half the nerves in my forehead (half has no feeling) later and Im good to go!

Ouch!

Is this some sort of Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson type thing?I'll show you mine if you show me your's.Like a certain person with tne ironing board!!!

Sorta thing.  What happened with the ironing board?

Here we go age of ten on
10, ruptured appendix almost croaked it on a drip for 9 days,
16, ran into wall 7 stiches in head ,
19, adhesions caused by previous op had to have another one to cut them off and untangle,
20, smashed nose wine bar brawl another op,
21,torn ankle and knee ligaments while out fishing six weeks in plaster,
22,tonsils out, plus a fractured skull involved in a bar room brawl got smashed over the head with a chair from behind first time, hit at least another three times with a chair so my mate later informed me ,that hurt.
27,scar on upper back had a cyst removed ,
38,compressed patella tendon training for london marathon ,another op out for 14 weeks.
 And that folks is all dont want any more .

Bloody hell, you've had enough Andy by the sound of it.

Jesus I'd love to get involved in this thread but it would take me 8 hours, I'm like frankensteins monster, without the bolts

  Do it in bits.

I forgot my dislocated shoulder racing my sister on spacehoppers age 10.

Left ear 2 stitches ripped fighting
Right eyebrow area 5 stitches in one cut 4 stitches in another amateur boxing fights
broken nose amateur boxing fight
Fractured cheek bone same amateur boxing fight
Chin 6 stitches pissed as fart with hands in pocket, tripped on high kerb couldn't get hands out of me pockets to break my fall

Left arm 2.2 slug scar from being shot by an air rifle
Left wrist 7 stitches, jumping up to grab my top off some goal posts caught it on the hooks that hold the net
Left hand 4 stitches stabbed with a knife
Left index finger stanley knife accident

Right wrist 6 stitches glass door fell on me
Right little finger broke in three places and scars from operations to set it
right thumb another stanley knife accident

Left knee 4 stitches knelt on some glass
Left Knee 7 stitches cartilage operation
Left shin 14 stitches hard crunching tackle playing football shin pad snapped and cut into my shin
Left ankle broken Left big toe cut it on a fish tank

Right Knee 4 stitches fell off my bike
right leg broken same bike accident
right ankle broke playing football

I think thats it

Grandad was an Irish boxing trainer, he was determined to ruin my good looks, god bless his soul

Here we go age of ten on
10, ruptured appendix almost croaked it on a drip for 9 days,

Ditto. Take it yours had burst as well. They didn't know what was wrong with me and had to slice me open to find my guts all over my abdomen. Gimps.

9 Tonsils
17 Fractured skull (was being a smart arse after being pissed and took an unexpected head butt to the face)
24 Some lump removed out my head (think it was a second brain)

Clearly I'm not as much of a clumsy get as some of you.

Sorta thing.  What happened with the ironing board?

I'm presuming the ironing incident is referring to Frizzby, He was trying to get the creases out of something and it burnt him.

I've probably jinxed it now but I've never really had too much happen to me apart from grazing my knee a few times.

The only things I can think of are:

6, Stepped on the lid of a tuna tin and sliced my foot open.
9, I was playing some Aussie Rules in the inter-school competition and got headbutted (didn't even get a free-kick :) I ended up going to school the next day with a purple eye.

All I have done is cracked me head open

When i was born, i had an impatherated (not sure how the hell you spell that) anus and as a result i had to have 3 operations. One was the day i was born, then one when i was 4 months old and then the next one was when i was 6 years old. As a result of these opertaions, i have had a Colostomy Bag since birth. Then at the age of 8, i got kidney stones and they cut me open and removed them. Then this summer i was in hopital for 8 weeks after i had a pelvic abssess. Was on a drip for 4 weeks and didn't eat in that time. Lost 3 stone as a result. Got a big feckin scar right down the middle of stomach and i have a drain in the side of my stomach (will have that in for at least another 6 weeks). Also, i am on these drugs called Warfarin cause when i was in hopital, i got 3 blood clots, two in my lungs and one in my leg. On the road to recovery now though.

I Have a huge friggin scar right across my chest, this is were my missus broke my heart the day she said "YES"

I've got daft little scars all over, mostly from broken glass. An ex's watch caught on the top of my left wrist and cut me. didn't hurt but it's still scarred to this day. And I got my arm stuck in a rose bush and got a decent few cuts across my arm but other than that, I have nothing.

No scars, no broken bones. Nothing!

Touch wood like.

Why I had the last few months off work. Tendon cut in two, crushed joint.

Second finger I knackered at work, the right index was totally crushed last year, looked like a steam roller had run over it.

Also had my nose broken in a club by some random bloke after I spilled his pint, that was half way across my face too. : His two mates held one of my arms each, then he head butted me, the f**ker. That was about ten years ago, mind.

Must be a hospital thing when they first took me in they couldn,t find what was wrong said it was just a bad stomach and sent me home ,my dad rushed me back in in the car early hours while in theatre my mam told me later my dad had the doc against the wall for not doing his job properly as you would know burst appendix causes blood poisoning left untreated will kill you .
One other injury as some on here already know fell in a bbq last year broke my hand and my nose again .

Ditto. Take it yours had burst as well. They didn't know what was wrong with me and had to slice me open to find my guts all over my abdomen. Gimps.

9 Tonsils
17 Fractured skull (was being a smart arse after being pissed and took an unexpected head butt to the face)
24 Some lump removed out my head (think it was a second brain)

Clearly I'm not as much of a clumsy get as some of you.

When i was born, i had an impatherated (not sure how the hell you spell that) anus and as a result i had to have 3 operations. One was the day i was born, then one when i was 4 months old and then the next one was when i was 6 years old. As a result of these opertaions, i have had a Colostomy Bag since birth. Then at the age of 8, i got kidney stones and they cut me open and removed them. Then this summer i was in hopital for 8 weeks after i had a pelvic abssess. Was on a drip for 4 weeks and didn't eat in that time. Lost 3 stone as a result. Got a big feckin scar right down the middle of stomach and i have a drain in the side of my stomach (will have that in for at least another 6 weeks). Also, i am on these drugs called Warfarin cause when i was in hopital, i got 3 blood clots, two in my lungs and one in my leg. On the road to recovery now though.

Jesus mate you sure as hell been in the wars, I can relate to what you're saying cos  a relation had bowel cancer and I know what's involved - hope all goes well mate and you make good your recovery.

Is this some sort of Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson type thing?I'll show you mine if you show me your's.Like a certain person with tne ironing board!!!

I'm presuming the ironing incident is referring to Frizzby, He was trying to get the creases out of something and it burnt him.

Wondered how long it would be before my name was mentioned in this thread !
 6 Double Hernia due to riding my trycycle !
13 Dislocated little pinkie on left hand when someone kicked me at school (itsstill wonky now !)
15 Emergency groin operation to prevent me being accidently steralised !
24 Fell against a factory heater and burned my upper arm (not seriously !)
33 & 35 Both outer lateral ligaments shortened on my ankles to restrict the movement and strengthen the joint
41 Groin repair !
42 Operation to remove a foreign object from behind my kneecap !
43 the Snip !
45 Muscular Skeletal Tear to an heart muscle , Wife advised me to retire which I did !
You've been waiting for this  I JUST KNOW IT !
47 Slipped whilst doing the ironing naked and burnt my privates

And so endeth the lesson,never get a hot dog when ironing?

One I forgot, 3 broken ribs and a dislocated thumb when I slipped in the bath, man did that hurt
Another one, Tore a muscle is my lower rear shoulder, an Injury normally associated with javelin throwers and tennis players not some one picking up a kettle, I laid down on the floor and I couldn't get back up had to ring my sister because I thought I was having a heart attack as I could only take very short breaths as when my lungs inflated the pain was intense.

Don't know what hurt worse the actual injury or the massive needle they stuck in me at the hospital.

Biggest one for me has to the scar on my left knee when I had major surgery on it 3 years ago.

Spent around six months on crutches. Awful, awful times.

I'm never asking any of you to move furniture with me.

Clumsy b*stards.

Only kidding. The LFC Reds Movers are all action.

One I forgot, 3 broken ribs and a dislocated thumb when I slipped in the bath, man did that hurt
Another one, Tore a muscle is my lower rear shoulder, an Injury normally associated with javelin throwers and tennis players not some one picking up a kettle, I laid down on the floor and I couldn't get back up had to ring my sister because I thought I was having a heart attack as I could only take very short breaths as when my lungs inflated the pain was intense.

Don't know what hurt worse the actual injury or the massive needle they stuck in me at the hospital.

Done it meself Daz slipped in the shower went down like bag of sh*te and banged me head on the end of the bath, thought I'd broke me ribs cos I've done it before and I recognise the feeling but they were just bruised. My right arm was wrapped around my neck and for some reason my lungs wouldn't work that was shock I was told but I'm real careful now getting in and out the shower.
A while ago I was out on me bike and went through these lights on amber got half way across and this car pulled out - if he'd kept on going I would have sailed through instead he F***ing reversed and I hit the back door.Gashed my eye and broke me collar bone the pain in the arse was being laid up with the break.

When I was born, I had an impatherated (not sure how the hell you spell that) anus and as a result I had to have 3 operations. One was the day I was born, then one when I was 4 months old and then the next one was when I was 6 years old. As a result of these opertaions, I have had a Colostomy Bag since birth. Then at the age of 8, I got kidney stones and they cut me open and removed them. Then this summer I was in hopital for 8 weeks after I had a pelvic abssess. Was on a drip for 4 weeks and didn't eat in that time. Lost 3 stone as a result. Got a big feckin scar right down the middle of stomach and I have a drain in the side of my stomach (will have that in for at least another 6 weeks). Also, I am on these drugs called Warfarin cause when I was in hopital, I got 3 blood clots, two in my lungs and one in my leg. On the road to recovery now though.

Holy sh*t semple, that sounds terrible.  Glad to hear you're on the mend.  Good luck!

Why I had the last few months off work. Tendon cut in two, crushed joint.

That looks really painful ayrton.  Nasty one.

I'm presuming the ironing incident is referring to Frizzby, He was trying to get the creases out of something and it burnt him.

 

You've been waiting for this  I JUST KNOW IT !
47 Slipped whilst doing the ironing naked and burnt my privates