Map Your Body: The Show Off Your Scars, Bruises, Broken Bones and such Thread

Gore fest time   Just been talking to a mate who's had a birthday yesterday and somehow we got on to talking about old injuries, scars and the like.

I have few, not massively impressive, but not bad.  Here they are, from the toes up...

Injury:  Dropped a G-clamp on my left foot in woodwork class.  That really hurt and broke a couple of toes.
Injury: snapped me ankle playing footie in lower sixth.  Heard it go, and hopped round the whole school building trying not to cry!  Worst thing about that was there was a night out planned so I had to go all strapped up.
Scar: Right leg, lower shin.  Just a nick to remove a cist that came back almost immediately.
Infiltration: Gravel in my left knee, good for bragging rights! (Although it can be argued you were a sh*t bike rider!)
Scar: Just below right knee.  Skiing accident, novice skiier overtaking going slightly uphill, only it wasn't uphill, it was a pile of logs.  Properly fu**ed my knee up that did for a while.
Scar: Back of left leg, just below my bum.  Fell on a barbed wire fence and got stuck.  Nasty one that was, but only needed a couple of stiches in the end.
Torso: scar free at the moment, as is my riight arm.
Scar: Left middle finger, caught in a door, ow, bit of a lump there now; Finger next to my thumb, chopped a slice of it off once when cooking; scar under my thumb from when I was 4 and I dropped a glass bowl and managed to slice my thumb nearly in two.

Scar: Left elbow, playing hockey for Uni against the mancs, at the mancs, F***ing went arse over tit leaving the changing rooms and sliced off a bit of bone.  Kept me shirt though after that    No-one wanted to wash the blood out

And last one is the top of my head.   Some mates were down in London for a birthday party, it ended up beng a lock in.  The fella whos birthday it was was a bizzy so the drinking went on for hours.  I swear to this day that I pushed the glass door open with my hands but the evidence is clear, I used my head and have the scar to prove it.

So fellow Reds, what damage have you inficted on your bodies?

I got hit in the head in hockey rushing out from a corner in sixth form...damn hockey balls are like rocks. Sliced me open good. 13 stitches, one scar and half the nerves in my forehead (half has no feeling) later and Im good to go!

Broke my ankle playing football when I was like 12. Some guy stood on my foot as I went for the ball and I fell and twisted round but my foot didnt move. Didnt feel anything at first. Just a very dull ache then I realised I couldnt walk. Fun.

Fractured my wrist ice skating...just fell over. I suck as skating.

I also get alot of bollock pain that comes from riding a sports motorcycle with an uncomfy seat.

Is this some sort of Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson type thing?I'll show you mine if you show me your's.Like a certain person with tne ironing board!!!

Here we go age of ten on
10, ruptured appendix almost croaked it on a drip for 9 days,
16, ran into wall 7 stiches in head ,
19, adhesions caused by previous op had to have another one to cut them off and untangle,
20, smashed nose wine bar brawl another op,
21,torn ankle and knee ligaments while out fishing six weeks in plaster,
22,tonsils out, plus a fractured skull involved in a bar room brawl got smashed over the head with a chair from behind first time, hit at least another three times with a chair so my mate later informed me ,that hurt.
27,scar on upper back had a cyst removed ,
38,compressed patella tendon training for london marathon ,another op out for 14 weeks.
 And that folks is all dont want any more .

Jesus i'd love to get involved in this thread but it would take me 8 hours, I'm like frankensteins monster, without the bolts

I got hit in the head in hockey rushing out from a corner in sixth form...damn hockey balls are like rocks. Sliced me open good. 13 stitches, one scar and half the nerves in my forehead (half has no feeling) later and Im good to go!

Ouch!

Is this some sort of Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson type thing?I'll show you mine if you show me your's.Like a certain person with tne ironing board!!!

Sorta thing.  What happened with the ironing board?

Here we go age of ten on
10, ruptured appendix almost croaked it on a drip for 9 days,
16, ran into wall 7 stiches in head ,
19, adhesions caused by previous op had to have another one to cut them off and untangle,
20, smashed nose wine bar brawl another op,
21,torn ankle and knee ligaments while out fishing six weeks in plaster,
22,tonsils out, plus a fractured skull involved in a bar room brawl got smashed over the head with a chair from behind first time, hit at least another three times with a chair so my mate later informed me ,that hurt.
27,scar on upper back had a cyst removed ,
38,compressed patella tendon training for london marathon ,another op out for 14 weeks.
 And that folks is all dont want any more .

Bloody hell, you've had enough Andy by the sound of it.

Jesus I'd love to get involved in this thread but it would take me 8 hours, I'm like frankensteins monster, without the bolts

  Do it in bits.

I forgot my dislocated shoulder racing my sister on spacehoppers age 10.

Left ear 2 stitches ripped fighting
Right eyebrow area 5 stitches in one cut 4 stitches in another amateur boxing fights
broken nose amateur boxing fight
Fractured cheek bone same amateur boxing fight
Chin 6 stitches pissed as fart with hands in pocket, tripped on high kerb couldn't get hands out of me pockets to break my fall

Left arm 2.2 slug scar from being shot by an air rifle
Left wrist 7 stitches, jumping up to grab my top off some goal posts caught it on the hooks that hold the net
Left hand 4 stitches stabbed with a knife
Left index finger stanley knife accident

Right wrist 6 stitches glass door fell on me
Right little finger broke in three places and scars from operations to set it
right thumb another stanley knife accident

Left knee 4 stitches knelt on some glass
Left Knee 7 stitches cartilage operation
Left shin 14 stitches hard crunching tackle playing football shin pad snapped and cut into my shin
Left ankle broken Left big toe cut it on a fish tank

Right Knee 4 stitches fell off my bike
right leg broken same bike accident
right ankle broke playing football

I think thats it

Grandad was an Irish boxing trainer, he was determined to ruin my good looks, god bless his soul

Here we go age of ten on
10, ruptured appendix almost croaked it on a drip for 9 days,

Ditto. Take it yours had burst as well. They didn't know what was wrong with me and had to slice me open to find my guts all over my abdomen. Gimps.

9 Tonsils
17 Fractured skull (was being a smart arse after being pissed and took an unexpected head butt to the face)
24 Some lump removed out my head (think it was a second brain)

Clearly I'm not as much of a clumsy get as some of you.

Sorta thing.  What happened with the ironing board?

I'm presuming the ironing incident is referring to Frizzby, He was trying to get the creases out of something and it burnt him.

I've probably jinxed it now but I've never really had too much happen to me apart from grazing my knee a few times.

The only things I can think of are:

6, Stepped on the lid of a tuna tin and sliced my foot open.
9, I was playing some Aussie Rules in the inter-school competition and got headbutted (didn't even get a free-kick :) I ended up going to school the next day with a purple eye.

All I have done is cracked me head open

When i was born, i had an impatherated (not sure how the hell you spell that) anus and as a result i had to have 3 operations. One was the day i was born, then one when i was 4 months old and then the next one was when i was 6 years old. As a result of these opertaions, i have had a Colostomy Bag since birth. Then at the age of 8, i got kidney stones and they cut me open and removed them. Then this summer i was in hopital for 8 weeks after i had a pelvic abssess. Was on a drip for 4 weeks and didn't eat in that time. Lost 3 stone as a result. Got a big feckin scar right down the middle of stomach and i have a drain in the side of my stomach (will have that in for at least another 6 weeks). Also, i am on these drugs called Warfarin cause when i was in hopital, i got 3 blood clots, two in my lungs and one in my leg. On the road to recovery now though.

I Have a huge friggin scar right across my chest, this is were my missus broke my heart the day she said "YES"

I've got daft little scars all over, mostly from broken glass. An ex's watch caught on the top of my left wrist and cut me. didn't hurt but it's still scarred to this day. And I got my arm stuck in a rose bush and got a decent few cuts across my arm but other than that, I have nothing.

No scars, no broken bones. Nothing!

Touch wood like.

Why I had the last few months off work. Tendon cut in two, crushed joint.

Second finger I knackered at work, the right index was totally crushed last year, looked like a steam roller had run over it.

Also had my nose broken in a club by some random bloke after I spilled his pint, that was half way across my face too. : His two mates held one of my arms each, then he head butted me, the f**ker. That was about ten years ago, mind.

Must be a hospital thing when they first took me in they couldn,t find what was wrong said it was just a bad stomach and sent me home ,my dad rushed me back in in the car early hours while in theatre my mam told me later my dad had the doc against the wall for not doing his job properly as you would know burst appendix causes blood poisoning left untreated will kill you .
One other injury as some on here already know fell in a bbq last year broke my hand and my nose again .

Ditto. Take it yours had burst as well. They didn't know what was wrong with me and had to slice me open to find my guts all over my abdomen. Gimps.

9 Tonsils
17 Fractured skull (was being a smart arse after being pissed and took an unexpected head butt to the face)
24 Some lump removed out my head (think it was a second brain)

Clearly I'm not as much of a clumsy get as some of you.

When i was born, i had an impatherated (not sure how the hell you spell that) anus and as a result i had to have 3 operations. One was the day i was born, then one when i was 4 months old and then the next one was when i was 6 years old. As a result of these opertaions, i have had a Colostomy Bag since birth. Then at the age of 8, i got kidney stones and they cut me open and removed them. Then this summer i was in hopital for 8 weeks after i had a pelvic abssess. Was on a drip for 4 weeks and didn't eat in that time. Lost 3 stone as a result. Got a big feckin scar right down the middle of stomach and i have a drain in the side of my stomach (will have that in for at least another 6 weeks). Also, i am on these drugs called Warfarin cause when i was in hopital, i got 3 blood clots, two in my lungs and one in my leg. On the road to recovery now though.

Jesus mate you sure as hell been in the wars, I can relate to what you're saying cos  a relation had bowel cancer and I know what's involved - hope all goes well mate and you make good your recovery.

Is this some sort of Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson type thing?I'll show you mine if you show me your's.Like a certain person with tne ironing board!!!

I'm presuming the ironing incident is referring to Frizzby, He was trying to get the creases out of something and it burnt him.

Wondered how long it would be before my name was mentioned in this thread !
 6 Double Hernia due to riding my trycycle !
13 Dislocated little pinkie on left hand when someone kicked me at school (itsstill wonky now !)
15 Emergency groin operation to prevent me being accidently steralised !
24 Fell against a factory heater and burned my upper arm (not seriously !)
33 & 35 Both outer lateral ligaments shortened on my ankles to restrict the movement and strengthen the joint
41 Groin repair !
42 Operation to remove a foreign object from behind my kneecap !
43 the Snip !
45 Muscular Skeletal Tear to an heart muscle , Wife advised me to retire which I did !
You've been waiting for this  I JUST KNOW IT !
47 Slipped whilst doing the ironing naked and burnt my privates

And so endeth the lesson,never get a hot dog when ironing?

One I forgot, 3 broken ribs and a dislocated thumb when I slipped in the bath, man did that hurt
Another one, Tore a muscle is my lower rear shoulder, an Injury normally associated with javelin throwers and tennis players not some one picking up a kettle, I laid down on the floor and I couldn't get back up had to ring my sister because I thought I was having a heart attack as I could only take very short breaths as when my lungs inflated the pain was intense.

Don't know what hurt worse the actual injury or the massive needle they stuck in me at the hospital.

Biggest one for me has to the scar on my left knee when I had major surgery on it 3 years ago.

Spent around six months on crutches. Awful, awful times.

I'm never asking any of you to move furniture with me.

Clumsy b*stards.

Only kidding. The LFC Reds Movers are all action.

One I forgot, 3 broken ribs and a dislocated thumb when I slipped in the bath, man did that hurt
Another one, Tore a muscle is my lower rear shoulder, an Injury normally associated with javelin throwers and tennis players not some one picking up a kettle, I laid down on the floor and I couldn't get back up had to ring my sister because I thought I was having a heart attack as I could only take very short breaths as when my lungs inflated the pain was intense.

Don't know what hurt worse the actual injury or the massive needle they stuck in me at the hospital.

Done it meself Daz slipped in the shower went down like bag of sh*te and banged me head on the end of the bath, thought I'd broke me ribs cos I've done it before and I recognise the feeling but they were just bruised. My right arm was wrapped around my neck and for some reason my lungs wouldn't work that was shock I was told but I'm real careful now getting in and out the shower.
A while ago I was out on me bike and went through these lights on amber got half way across and this car pulled out - if he'd kept on going I would have sailed through instead he F***ing reversed and I hit the back door.Gashed my eye and broke me collar bone the pain in the arse was being laid up with the break.

When I was born, I had an impatherated (not sure how the hell you spell that) anus and as a result I had to have 3 operations. One was the day I was born, then one when I was 4 months old and then the next one was when I was 6 years old. As a result of these opertaions, I have had a Colostomy Bag since birth. Then at the age of 8, I got kidney stones and they cut me open and removed them. Then this summer I was in hopital for 8 weeks after I had a pelvic abssess. Was on a drip for 4 weeks and didn't eat in that time. Lost 3 stone as a result. Got a big feckin scar right down the middle of stomach and I have a drain in the side of my stomach (will have that in for at least another 6 weeks). Also, I am on these drugs called Warfarin cause when I was in hopital, I got 3 blood clots, two in my lungs and one in my leg. On the road to recovery now though.

Holy sh*t semple, that sounds terrible.  Glad to hear you're on the mend.  Good luck!

Why I had the last few months off work. Tendon cut in two, crushed joint.

That looks really painful ayrton.  Nasty one.

I'm presuming the ironing incident is referring to Frizzby, He was trying to get the creases out of something and it burnt him.

 

You've been waiting for this  I JUST KNOW IT !
47 Slipped whilst doing the ironing naked and burnt my privates

  

Haven't had many serious injuries. I can't believe some of the things that have happened to the people on here.

The one i remember the most though was when a kid, who was about 3 times bigger than me, ran into me in the playground and i went flying. Fortunately didn't break any bones but i did sprain my wrist.   

Got a few grazes on my knees from when i was a nuisance as a kid as well.

Hopefully things won't get much more serious than this in the future. 

Saw some kids doing somersaults by holding the stands of the swings in the park. I stupidly tried it out using my door ( one part wall and the other part sliding door). Succeeded the first time, did it again and suddenly blood started dripping. I needed stiches and have a 2 cm long scare above my nose, between my eyes. Thank God it didn't get one of my eyes. Still visible after 13 years and I feel like Harry Potter.

Dislocated my elbow playing football when I was 14. From our corner, I was outside the box, the ball fell to me and I was about to start a counter attack. Striker slides from behind and I fell straightforward and felt the joint coming out. My arm was hanging when I got up. Physiotherapy hurt.

Fell off a skateboard because I stupidly did it when it was raining. Fell on my right side and now I have scares on the right side of my right hand, probably a bruise on the right side of my head and hip.

Forgot to mention that earlier this year whilst cleaning the apartment floor (mopping ) I slipped on the wet floor in my daughters room and fell onto the metal frame of her bed and broke two ribs !
I think I ought to get a proper job and leave the housework to my wife instead of the other way around, what with the mopping and the Ironing !

I nearly threw up when I saw Ayrton's injury.

I'd still be crying 2 months later - that looks painful.

When I was born, I had an impatherated (not sure how the hell you spell that) anus and as a result I had to have 3 operations. One was the day I was born, then one when I was 4 months old and then the next one was when I was 6 years old. As a result of these opertaions, I have had a Colostomy Bag since birth. Then at the age of 8, I got kidney stones and they cut me open and removed them. Then this summer I was in hopital for 8 weeks after I had a pelvic abssess. Was on a drip for 4 weeks and didn't eat in that time. Lost 3 stone as a result. Got a big feckin scar right down the middle of stomach and I have a drain in the side of my stomach (will have that in for at least another 6 weeks). Also, I am on these drugs called Warfarin cause when I was in hopital, I got 3 blood clots, two in my lungs and one in my leg. On the road to recovery now though.

Jaysus, little dude. You've been through an awful lot. i hope you're staying strong and getting better.

I nearly threw up when I saw Ayrton's injury.

I'd still be crying 2 months later - that looks painful.

To be honest, it looks worse than it was. A lot of it was incisions made by the surgeon to pull the tendon and skin and sew it back together, as they cut off some dead skin too.

The other finger looked much worse coming out of the machine, I honestly thought they were going to have to amputate it when I saw it. Totally crushed, after which it swelled up to over twice it's size, I'm lucky to have an excellent physio who helped me get both fingers back to normal.

Bloody hell, didn't realise how deadly housework could be.  I'll keep me clothes on when doing the ironing in future I think.  And Ayrton, that looks nasty. 

Worst thing to happen to me was breaking my left wrist...playing tag rugby.    I was scoring a try though.  Always have to add that to avoid embarassment from breaking a bone in a non-physical version of rugby.

Also broke my little finger on my left hand when I was goalkeeper.  These injuries happened during my school years and not once did I injure my writing hand.

I've probably jinxed it now but I've never really had too much happen to me apart from grazing my knee a few times.

Well it only took 18 days to Jinx it, I think I've either fractured or broken my collar bone.

Well it only took 18 days to Jinx it, I think I've either fractured or broken my collar bone.

Jeez, sounds nasty, how did you do it?

And post a photo if you can!

Jeez, sounds nasty, how did you do it?

See the weekend thread.

Broken nose when I was small, never got it fixed
Scar on my knee about 1cm long from football in infant school.

That's it.

Small scar on forehead - 2 stitiches: As a baby in HK ran my head into the metal corner of one of those Chinese coffee tables (FYI most Chinese furniture have those metal corners on them...real safe when learning how to walk.)
Right wrist broken: Back in NZ swinging from a rope in the forest behind my house.  The rope snapped at the apex of the upwards movement and I dropped 20 feet onto my wrist.
Right hand - 8 stitches: from throwing a plank of wood at some kids who were picking on my friends back in NZ.  Plank riped my hand open, but the kids on the receiving end of said plank got the worst of it.
Left forearm both ulna and radius bones snapped in center.  Small plates attached to both bones so two large scares: This happened during a school sports where myself and another kid were pushing each other on a running drill.  
Left knee ACL torn: Rugby match at Uni.

Well it only took 18 days to Jinx it, I think I've either fractured or broken my collar bone.

I go to my docs appointment in three hours but I decided to look at my results now (). I can't really understand medical terms properly but I'm 95% sure it says fractured collar bone.

Edit: Just got back it's a 'green stick fracture' apparently.

When I was 2 I found a tangled barbwired in the park, my brother (who was 4) lifted me and a barb ripped my right arm, I have a 5.5 inches scar.

When I was 8 an Argentine dog tried to bite me in my forehead but other dog present (actually his sister) took him by the neck and threw him to floor. He just sank one fang in my forehead, when I frown you can see the hole.

This June I resisted to a mugging and the thief stabbed me in the back, the knife crash to my rib and didn't touch my lung.

Fark me dead Ayrton!

Was having a protein shake when going through this thread it nearly all flew out seeing that.

Looks very very nasty.

I've been pretty safe over the years apart from a few minor things, never broken any bones or anything.

6: Hit by a car coming back from the ice-cream man, pretty lucky just a very big and dark bruise from my hip to just under my armpit.
12: Bad kidney infection, in hospital for a week.
16: Torn ligaments in my back
2 months ago: Sprained wrist from, shall we say, a heated discussion after the pub!

Pretty tame stuff compared to some of you here, you lot could audition for the lead in a movie adaptation of the Mr. Bump book!

I've had a pain in the arse for the last ten years, I fondly call it our lass

Had a broken collar bone and also a fractured wrist both on the right hand side.

went to the doctors this morning, because I was convinced that I had genital Warts. Imagine my surprise when I dropped my pants for the doctor and a handful of Cocoa Pops fell to the floor.

that will teach me for eating my breakfast naked

Ffs what a thread,I could bore you for hours as a black belt Karate, rugby player, Iv'e had more injuries than I care to remember.But two stick in my mind.One was at Skelmersdale Leisure Centre, where I was an Instructor and a lady green belt kicked me hard in the nuts,felt that,the other was in a rugby game against Sefton RUFC, when in a scrum I was head butted, which resulted in a bag of blood above my eye, only for my own tight head prop to chew through in the next scrum to relieve the pressure.Made for an interesting scrum.

Let's see.

Right foot - cut open sole of foot on a broken shell while bounding down a huge sand dune barefoot at the beach.

Right ankle - Tore ligaments in a few years ago. Was out running and missed a bottom step. Missed some work there.

Right calf - 3" horizontal scar..was a deep one and probably should've got stitches. Piss drunk messing around and sliced it on that tin you use for shed roofing.
Also, on right calf three long horizontal scars..mountain biking on frozen ground and the wheels slid out from under me.

Left groin - Hernia op scar

Right hand - Broken knuckle at ring finger. Waited a week to go to the doctor and it turns out I had completely snapped the end of the bone off and it had turned 180 degrees. So, the doctor sticks a long needle through my hand all around inside and at one point it even came all the way through. Then, he climbs above me and starts wrestling with this nub of bone turning it right way round. Yeah, it hurt. Don't have a knuckle anymore since it didn't heal straight. It's called a boxer's fracture. You figure it out.

Also, on right hand scar in center of hand where I dove on the ground onto a broken bottle.
Another smaller scar with its twin on the exact other half of my hand. Used to be a veterinary technician and was drawing blood from a cat's jugular. The tech helping me let go of the cat's head (which you sort of stretch out so he's looking up) and it sank its teeth right into my hand like a hamburger. The next day my hand resembled just that as it was cartoonishly swollen. Went to hospital for that.

Right wrist - Broken in three places, no idea how. When I got x-rays for the knuckle the doctor told me that it looked like I had broken it within the past year or two. I knew I was tough, but c'mon!  :  I do remember that "sliding" pain with a broken bone where you feel like it's moving away from you. Tough to explain, but I remember the feeling while lifting weights.

Right shoulder - Scar from bike accident..pushed into a wall and rubbed all the skin right off.

Right trap - 3" roundish scar from somehow managing to rub the skin off while wearing a heavy rucksack.

Left collarbone - Broken in half froma drunken bike accident. Tried to bunnyhop a curb at speed, but the front wheel caught it and I flipped it. As drunk as I was I felt the bone bending, but not the snap. Got up dazed and my buddy was convinced it was just dislocated. He starts pulling and pushing on my arm and my friends who were blocks away sewar they heard me screaming. The demerol was nice later on, though.    Still not right either as there's a big lump there because it didn't heal straight.

Incisor - Broken in half when pushed into wall playing ball.

Concussion - Hanging upside-down on monkey bars and fell right on my head from about 6' up.

Scar top of head - At same park was being an idiot running at the swings and sliding under at the last moment. Well, the underside caught me and scalped me! Blood everywhere,

Scar back of head - waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve (3 or 4 yrs old)...bouncing on my bed until I went over the side and cut my head open on an old radiator.

Can't think of many more good ones...do tattoos count? After all they are all scar! Arms covered. Left calf & right chest some, too.

EDIT: I forgot to mention to Semple that I hope he's getting better. What you've gone through is far worse than anything done to me.