You know you're addicted to football when.....

Not sure if it has been started but here goes.

1 - say 'Last season' when you actually mean 'last year'.
2 - you have some mates together watching a game when it's your anniversary.

Everyone just needs to put one but I've put 2 just for the heck of it.

You shout Gooooooaaaaaaalllllllll whenever you have sex.

You don't buy the Sunday papers when we lose. 

You tune into SSN as soon as you get home from the match to watch the goals all over again. 

You get up very early the next morning after an evening match and watch the highlights all over again then bask in the glory all day !! 

When your logged in here for approximately 15 hours a day 

You start changing your surname to those of Gerrard, Torres and Carragher on Facebook . *hint*

You imagine you're in Anfield when you step on the pitch in your local park.

When you hear the word comeback you straight away think of Istanbul.

When as soon as you get up in the morning you sit with coffee in one hand remote in the other "bbc1 teletext page 302" then once your done "Itv teletext page 401", Its like praying at the altar of the football gods.

Sky Sports news is constanly on your tv waiting for some breaking news.

Just for the record, I actually spelled 'girls' as 'goals'.

When you spend the majority of your time trying to educate clueless cu*ts in the "Is Rafa the right man for the job" thread. 

When you nearly throw something at the TV whenever they call it 'soccer'.

When your social life revolves around the games, ie ditching your non "soccer" loving mates while on a night on the town in Australia and hitting the closest sports bar for the game. And then jumping around with random fans when Stevie G scores the winner!

When the first thing you jump out of bed every morning is to log on to this site and other football-related websites.

When you turn off your phone during a Liverpool game to avoid smug Mancs getting on your back and spoiling your mood.

When you go to school, sit down on the table, and the first thing you say is, 'Liverpool 2-0 Man United'.

When you're willing to travel up from London to Liverpool for a day at the cost of 250 pounds and at the same time dragging your whole family along with you just because you're interested to see Anfield!!

When all walls is adored when football stars, not pornstars.

When all walls is adored when football stars, not pornstars.

I had both. Was that ok?

When the wife sez "another Liverpool top why don't you just buy the shop".

you still have ALL the liverpool tops you have ever owned, even the first one your mum had to make you...

When your woman suggestively motions you to come into the bedroom, and you say " I'll be in at half time "

When you watch a football game, and you move your foot hoping that the footballer will kick the ball.

When you are studying for a complicated test but you cant stop thinking about the game in the next few hours, so you stop in the middle of a equation to write your ideal starting lineup

When you run around your house creating the celebrations you would do if you were a footballer

When you lose many hours of your life thinking of how your imaginary career would of been, and what you would say to the press after that hat-trick you scored at Old Trafford!!



Yes, I do it all the time

When you are studying for a complicated test but you cant stop thinking about the game in the next few hours, so you stop in the middle of a equation to write your ideal starting lineup

When you run around your house creating the celebrations you would do if you were a footballer

When you lose many hours of your life thinking of how your imaginary career would of been, and what you would say to the press after that hat-trick you scored at Old Trafford!!



Yes, I do it all the time

All three of these i do

I even imagined the spat i would have with Wayne Rooney on the pitch, including me punching him in the face

You shout Gooooooaaaaaaalllllllll whenever you have sex.

When you spend the majority of your time trying to educate clueless cu*ts in the "Is Rafa the right man for the job" thread. 

When you've got a final Science exam the next day, and despite the non-consent of your parents, you sneak up to the TV at 1 am in the night to watch a Liverpool match.

When you celebrate on a Liverpool goal so loudly that your dad comes in the room wondering  whether everything is all right.

When you knock back a good earner to watch the greatest Club in the World,Liverpool.

When you keep your boots and pop-up goals in your car, because you never know when a game could happen. And yes, the boots smell horrible, and yes, the lady complains about them, but I'm willing to take that chance. 

you start drawing football formations on your school desk or when you start naming your dream team in your head in class.

I will only use my Liverpool salt and pepper shakers in the house no matter what the occasion.

When you wake up on a morning doing keepy ups with your bollocks.

When your wife throws all your clothes out of the bedroom window, followed by you!

Falling to the floor when your partner touches you.

You look at this weekends games and declare Leeds vs Bristol Rovers & Millwall vs Swindon Town as BIG games.

You remember every single occasion in your entire life by what happened in the corresponding football season.

Its 5am. Youve been sick for weeks. You wake up in a cold sweat. But before you do anything else you pick up the phone and go onto lfcreds just incase you missed something. . . . In the last four hours

You should be in bed, but your on here instead

you wonder why they don't swap shirts at the end when you go see a movie!

you're still watching this terrible football week in week out.

you're still watching this terrible football week in week out.

Nah that's just stupidity 

You try to mainline dubbin.

You remember every single occasion in your entire life by what happened in the corresponding football season.

I actually do this..  Am I the only one?

You know there will be nothing but rumour and occasional scaremongering, but you go online anyway... because if there is a break, if the news is good, if we have a new manager, then a massive weight will lift of you

When your 4 year old boy knows what Torres armband says,if he is going to walk alone, where we bought him from, what hes going to do with the ball and what number he is.

When you watch the football league show after MOTD on Saturdays.

When you go with the goalie to make a save 

When you go into a Waterstones looking for Jan Molby's Diet Book......

When you actually buy a football and hold it when the match is on!

When you actually buy a football and hold it when the match is on!

OMG! Im so glad I was not the only one to do that! I used to go out back when Fowler or Owen scored and pretend I was at Anfield, throw the ball in etc during the game!

your boss/work colleagues mention how often you log on to LFCREDS.COM! (thats why I'm not on as much these days)

When your 4 year old boy knows what Torres armband says,if he is going to walk alone, where we bought him from, what hes going to do with the ball and what number he is.

Thats so sweet, good work!

When you set a reminder on your phone to remind you when your match is being re-played, after you've already watched the match!!

when you can't sleep before any matches ,when you logged in here as soon as you get home and when you start writing liverpool name and the players on your school disk[.

When you watch a football game, and you move your foot hoping that the footballer will kick the ball.

  I actually do this every time I watch a match

When your teacher tells you how hardworking you look from where she/he is standing only to find you're actually drawing football formations of your dream team.

Haven't done that since college, though.

Dont watch MOTD if we lose and get an abnormal fast heartbeat if we are defending a slender lead, I sometimes have to turn it off so I dont get a heart attack!

"when ya can't go the game because of this fkin' lockdown".

When you download an app which tells what games are on tv