Posted 6 years ago on 'Red all over the land forum', since then, this lad is burrying his brother Friday, where the F**k do you start
Just thought I'd try and put everything down into words , words that sum up the pain that this night means to me !
A few of you know me out there , and I come on here occasionally to have a laugh etc , one thing I've never done on here is to tell everyone that My brother died at Hillsborough , Its not something I ever wanted to do and thought I would ever do as well !
I can get through the 15th April , the memorial takes up time , going to the Cememetery takes up time , My Family take up my time But when the nightime comes , everything comes back to haunt me !I'm on my own !
On the 15th April 1989 , I was a twenty year old lad , didn't have a care in the world , it was me,myself & I only ! That day changed me forever , The way I thought , the way I lived was gone !
That night after arriving back from Sheffield that day at around 8pm After hours of waiting in the house , phoning emergency numbers ,phoning hospitals etc ! I decided I had to do something , so along with a very dear friend of mine (Peter) I headed into town , heard there was transport to Sheffield free that night leaving from Hatton Garden , Getting down there we couldn't see a thing , so I headed to Radio City in Stanley Street to see if they could do anything for me .
Well I ended up in a Taxi , the journey was done in virtually complete silence not knowing what to expect when we got there and what to do anyway!
The Taxi seemed to take an age to get there , once in Sheffield we headed for the Hospitals , The Northern General & Hallamshire are the ones I went to if I remember rightly .
In there I asked in desperation if anyone had seen my younger brother , getting frantic at this time , my memory now fades into a kind of dream state , looking back now !
I was told to go back down to Hillsborough Stadium, It was about 4am on the 16th , to see the police there.
Well alls I remember now , is that I ended up in a side room to what I know now to be the gymnasium.
Confronting me on a wall was dozens and dozens of pictures of OUR dead fans ! With me being now in a total state of shock , I was shouting "he's not there, He's Not there" when Peter pointed at a picture and said "He's there" , In disbelief I studied the picture hard I still couldn't believe it , There was my little brother who'd been with me all my life , On a picture , On a wall ,all battered and bruised . Forgive me anyone , this is killing me writing this !
They(the police) took the picture away , I can't tell you how long they were gone , but within a moment in time I was taken into the gymnasium were below my feet , on the floor lay a green body bag , the bag was unzipped and there lay my brother , I touched his face , I even checked his clothes to make sure it was him ! It was just me trying to deny it , I didn't want it to be him , He looked so sad , I held him for a second before he was taken away from me !
Well then I had to sit down , be interviewed , Now I was in No fit state to be interviewed at this time , being asked if he'd had a drink and all that sh*te was already in the mindset of the Police ! The scapegoat was there ! And that scapegoat was me & my dead brother !
After the interview , if I could ever be as low as this again , I'd kill myself first !
I had to phone home from the gymnasium , the number had to be dialled for me ,because basically I couldn't see the dial !
The Phone rang , a couple of times before My elder brother answered , "I'm sorry" I said " He's dead" I can't recollect now what my brother said because all I can remember is the sound of My Mum screaming in the background ( That will live with me forever !)
My Dad then got on , and told me to make sure I got back home safely .
I left Hillsborough on this morning 12 years ago , a broken young man , and I'm still broken today !
The Taxi ride home , there is nothing i remember about it , I remember arriving home though and I gave the Taxi driver £20 quid for his help ( a couple of days later he returned it !) , thanked Peter for his help , and went into my house , My Mum and Dad were still up , It was nearing 7am by this time ! We all just sat there in disbelief , empty & alone with our own feelings .
The Nightmare had only just begun !
So once again I ask for forgiveness for upsetting anyone , But this is my most terrible night, I can't sleep , and I had to share it with some !
I will go down to the Dockers club to support the match as I am a proud memeber of the H.J.C. and if anyone see's me in the Albert before the Derby , Don't comment on the bags under my eye's because You'll know the reason why !
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE -- JUSTICE !
Thanks to everyone for helping me through this year's anniversary.
On this 18th year .... I truly have NEVER WALKED ALONE !
Eternally grateful
HAIL HAIL
wrighty
« Last Edit: Apr 15, 2010 02:04:12 am by JD »
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