Empedocles
Manner of death: Threw himself into a volcano to become immortalEmpedocles was a Greek philosopher who is probably best remembered for his classical theory of the four elements. He was the last Greek philosopher to write his theories down in verse form. Legend has it that Empedocles threw himself into the active volcano Mount Etna in Sicily in order to fool his followers into believing that his body had vanished and that he would return as a god. Unfortunately for Empedocles, one of his sandals survived the fury of the volcano and it was discovered by his followers â revealing their leaderâs deceit.
Pyrrhus of EpirusManner of death: Killed when he was stunned by a tile thrown by an old ladyPyrrhus of Epirus was one of the greatest conquerors â his heavy losses in one campaign has led to the term âpyrrhic victoryâ being coined in his honor. Pyrrhus was such a great warrior that a Spartan royal (Cleonymus) asked him to defeat Sparta and put him on the throne. Pyrrhus was defeated â having underestimated the strength of the Spartan warriors, so he moved on to his next campaign in Argos. As he entered the city through the narrow streets on the back of an elephant, an old woman (unhappy with the conflict) threw a roof tile at him from her balcony. The tile stunned Pyrrhus which allowed a common foot soldier to stab him â killing him.
Eleazar Maccabeus
Eleazar Maccabeusâ death is told in the Old Testament book of âI Maccabeesâ. During the Battle of Beth-zechariah, Eleazar thought he saw the enemy King Antiochus V riding an elephant near by. Thinking he would perform a heroic act by killing the elephant and king, Eleazar jumped under the elephant and stabbed it in the stomach with his spear. The dead elephant fell right on top of Eleazar killing him instantly. To add insult to injury, it was not even the Kingâs elephant.
Emperor Valerian
Valerian was a noble Roman who became Emperor Valerian I. During his disastrous reign, the western empire fell into total disrepair. In 260 AD, Valerian was defeated in the Battle of Edessa and taken captive by the Persian King Shapur I. In order to humiliate the Emperor, Shapur used him as a footstool. When he grew tired of his footstool, Shapur had Valerian skinned and had his skin stuffed with dung and straw and put on display in one of the large Persian temples.
Humphrey de Bohun
Humphrey do Bohun was a member of a very powerful Anglo-Norman family in England. He spoke out against the excesses of the King (Edward II). While leading troops at the Battle of Boroughbridge, Humphrey de Bohun (4th Earl of Hereford) met with a rather unpleasant end:
â[Humphrey de Bohun] led the fight on the bridge, but he and his men were caught in the arrow fire. Then one of de Harclayâs pikemen, concealed beneath the bridge, thrust upwards between the planks and skewered the Earl of Hereford through the anus, twisting the head of the iron pike into his intestines. His dying screams turned the advance into a panic.â
Manner of death: Speared through the anus with a hot pokerEdward II was King of England for 20 years (from 1307 â 1327). Edward greatly upset the nobility in England because he preferred low-born citizens and had many âspecialâ male friends â who received extravagant and expensive gifts. After he abdicated the throne and was imprisoned, his wife Isabella (disturbed by the close relationship the king had shared with a young man in the Royal Court) brought about his execution in secret:
âOn the night of 11 October while lying in on a bed [the king] was suddenly seized and, while a great mattress⊠weighed him down and suffocated him, a plumberâs iron, heated intensely hot, was introduced through a tube into his secret private parts so that it burned the inner portions beyond the intestines.â
Manner of death: Tripped over his skirts and fell down some stairsHumayun Mughal Emperor who ruled modern Afghanistan, Pakistan, and parts of northern India from 1530â1540 and again from 1555â1556. He was a great lover of the arts and astronomy and left behind a great legacy as a consequence. However, he was also very religious and this is what led to his downfall (literally). As he was carrying books from the library, Humayun heard the call the prayer. It was his habit to kneel on one knee when the call was made, and as he bent his knee, his foot got caught in the folds of his long robes. He happened to be standing at the top of a small flight of stairs. Humayun fell all the way down and hit his temple on a jagged rock â which killed him.
Arthur Aston
Manner of death: Beaten to death with his wooden legSir Arthur Aston was a lifelong professional soldier, most noted for his support for King Charles I in the English Civil War. He was a great soldier who saw a great deal of action during his lifetime. In September 1644, he fell from a horse and ended up with a wooden leg which was later used in his murder. In 1649, Oliver Cromwellâs forces attacked his town in the Siege of Drogheda and ordered that everyone be executed. Aston offered to surrender but the soldiers who captured him believed that he was hiding gold in his leg. They ripped it off and beat him to break open the leg. Unfortunately it was solid wood and it killed Aston.
Julien Offray de La Mettrie
Manner of death: Ironically ate himself to deathJulien Offray de La Mettrie was a French doctor, philosopher, and potentially the founder of cognitive science. He believed that sensual pleasures (such as eating, sex, and play) were the sole reason for life, and so he decided to live his life by that principle. Julien was an atheist and believed that life on earth was just a farce to be lived and ended in self-gratification. Ironically, he died rather painfully after eating too much truffle pate at a feast held in his honor by a man he cured of an illness.
BandĆ MitsugorĆ VIII
Manner of death: Died after eating pufferfish which he claimed to be immune toBandĆ MitsugorĆ VIII was one of Japanâs most highly regarded Kabuki (a type of dance/drama) actors â so much so that he was declared a national treasure. On the 16th of January, the natural treasure decided to dine out on fugu liver (highly toxic) claiming that he was immune to it. The fugu chef who served him said that he simply could not refuse to serve the deadly livers to such an esteemed gentleman. Needless to say, Mitsugoro died within 7 hours.
Francis Bacon (22 January 1561 â 9 April 1626)
Manner of death: Stuffing snow into a chickenFrancis Bacon; statesman, philosopher, creator of the English essay, and advocate for the scientific revolution (he established âThe Scientific Methodâ still used today), was one of very few people to die as a result of one of their own experiments.
In 1625, whilst gazing out the window at a snowy afternoon, Sir Francis Bacon had an epiphany of sorts. Why would snow not work as preservative of meat in much the same way salt is used? Needing to know and unheeding of the weather, Bacon rushed to town to purchase a chicken, brought it home and began the experiment. Standing outside in the snow, he killed the chicken and tried to stuff it with snow. The experiment was a failure; the chicken didnât freeze, and as a consequence of standing around in the freezing weather, Bacon developed a terminal case of pneumonia. Trying to stave off the inevitable, Bacon roasted and ate the chicken. That too was a failed experiment. He died.
Tycho Brahe (December 14, 1546 â October 24, 1601)
Manner of death: Didnât get to the toilet in timeFamous as an alchemist and astronomer, Braheâs pioneering observations of planetary motion paved the way for Sir Isaac Newton to develop the theory of gravity.
Unfortunately brilliance and common sense do not always go hand in hand, the manner of his death being the case in point. Known to have a weak bladder and knowing that it was very bad form to leave the banquet table before the festivities concluded, Brahe still neglected to relieve himself before dinner. To compound matters, he was known to drink excessively, and this particular banquet was no exception. Too polite to ask to be excused, his bladder strained causing a protracted (11 day), agonizing death. Whether he died of a burst bladder or hyponatremia (low levels of sodium in the blood) or mercury poisoning is now debated.
Note: this is very similar to an event in which a lady died recently in a competition entitled âHold Your Wee for a Wiiâ. She died of hyponatremia.
Attila the Hun (406 â 453)
Manner of death: He got a nosebleed on his wedding nightHistoryâs most brilliant tactician, warlord, and notorious villain, Attila the Hun conquered all of Asia by 450 AD. Using a combination of fierce combat and ruthless assimilation, Mongolia to the very edge of the Russian Empire fell to Attila and his armies.
Known for his frugal eating and drinking habits, Attila must have thought that his own wedding was an occasion to celebrate. Marrying a young girl named Ildico, in 453 AD; he over-indulged in both food and drink. Sometime after retiring for the evening, his nose started to bleed. Too drunk to notice, it continued to bleed, ultimately drowning him in his own blood.
Aeschylus [ÎጰÏÏÏλοÏ] (525 BC/524 BC â 456 BC)
Manner of death: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his headConsidered the founder of tragedy, Aeschylus is the first of the three ancient Greek playwrights whose work still survives. He expanded the characters of a play so that there was conflict between them instead of actors solely interacting with the chorus. Sophocles and Euripides famously followed in his footsteps.
While visiting Gela on the island of Sicily, legend has it that an eagle, mistaking Aeschylusâ bald pate for a stone, dropped a tortoise on his head killing him. Some accounts differ, stating that a stone was dropped on his head, the eagle mistaking his shining crown for an egg. This is not as far-fetched as it seems. The Lammergeier or Bearded Vulture is native to the Mediterranean, and is known to drop bones and tortoises on rocks to break them open.
King Adolf Frederick of Sweden (May 14, 1710 â February 12, 1771)
Manner of death: Eating too much puddingAdolphâs Frederick was the titular King of Sweden from 1751 â 1771. The omnipotent Riksdag or senate held the reins of power despite Adolphusâ best efforts to wrest it from them.
Another victim of personal excess, Adophus Frederick is known by Swedish children as âthe king who ate himself to deathâ. On February 12, 1771, after partaking of a banquet consisting of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, smoked herring and champagne he moved on to his favorite dessert, Semla, a traditional bun or pastry made from semolina/wheat flour, served in a bowl of hot milk. One or two portions would have been sufficient; 14 servings was excessive. He died shortly thereafter of digestion problems.
Christine Chubbuck (August 24, 1944 â July 15, 1974)
Manner of death: Suicide on live TVChristine Chubbuck was the host of âSuncoast Digestâ a well regarded public affairs program on WXLT-TV in Sarasota, Florida. Breaking format, her guest was waiting across the studio at the news anchorâs desk; Christine read eight minutes of national news stories before the tape reel malfunctioned while describing a shooting at the Beef and Bottle restaurant. Seemingly unfazed by the technical glitch, Christine looked into the camera and said:
âIn keeping with Channel 40âČs policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts, and in living color, you are going to see another first: an attempted suicide.â
Taking a revolver out from under her desk, she placed it behind her left ear and pulled the trigger (she learned this was the most effective way to commit suicide from the police while researching a project for her show). She tumbled violently forward as the technical director slowly faded to black. Some viewers called 911 while others called the station to see if it was real. Camerawoman Jean Reed later stated that she didnât believe it to be genuine until she saw Christineâs body twitching on the floor.
Sharon Lopatka (September 20, 1961 â October 16, 1996)
Manner of death: Volunteered to be tortured and murderedSharon Lopatka was an internet entrepreneur and one sick puppy. Living in Hampstead, Maryland, USA, Sharon was killed by Robert Frederick Glass in a case of consensual homicide.
While advertising unusual fetishist pornography on her web site, Sharon began her hunt for a partner willing to torture and kill her for their mutual sexual gratification. After many false starts, of course most replies were not serious, she finally found Robert Glass; more than willing to fulfill her fantasy. They exchanged many messages, culminating in their meeting in North Carolina. Glass tortured her for several days before strangling her with a nylon cord. He was later convicted of voluntary manslaughter and possession of child pornography.
Sigurd the Mighty
Manner of Death: Strap-on head infected himSigurd Eysteinsson (aka Sigurd I The Mighty, ruled 875-92) was the second Viking Earl of Orkney, who succeeded his brother Ragnald the Wise. He was a leader in the Viking conquest of what is now northern Scotland. He died as a result of one of the native rulers he killed, Maelbrigte, moramer of Moray. He beheaded Maelbrigte and strapped his head to his saddle. As he rode, Maelbrigteâs teeth grazed against his leg, causing a wound that became infected and killed him.
György Dózsa
Manner of Death: Eaten aliveGyörgy DĂłzsa, SzĂ©kely man-at-arms and peasantsâ revolt leader in Hungary, was condemned to sit on a red-hot iron throne with a red-hot iron crown on his head and a red-hot sceptre in his hand (mocking at his ambition to be king), by Hungarian landed nobility in Transylvania. While DĂłzsa was still alive, he was set upon and his partially roasted body was eaten by six of his fellow rebels, who had been starved for a week beforehand.
William Kogut
Manner of Death: Suicide courtesy of MacGuyver skillsWilliam Kogut was an inmate on death row at San Quentin, decided to commit suicide using only the rudimentary tools available to him in his prison cell. He began by tearing up several packs of playing cards, giving particular focus to obtaining pieces with red ink (at the time, the ink in red playing cards contained nitrocellulose, which is flammable and when wet can create an explosive mixture), and stuffed them into a pipe. He then plugged one end of the pipe firmly with a broom handle and poured water into the other end to soak the card pieces. He then placed the pipe on a kerosene heater next to his bed and placed the open end firmly against his head. The heater turned the water into steam and eventually enough pressure built up inside the pipe so that when it burst, the explosion shot out bits of playing cards with enough force to penetrate Kogutâs skull, killing him. In a suicide note, Kogut stated that he and he alone should punish himself for his crimes.
Sirkka Sari
Manner of Death: Fell down a chimneyIn 1939, well known Finnish actress Sirkka Sari (Jahnsson) was celebrating the premiere of her new film âA Rich Girlâ at the hotel Aulanko. During the celebration (most likely in a drunken desire to have some mischievous fun) Sari climbed the stairs to the roof of the hotel. At the top of the stairs, she opened the door and saw a black rectangular area which she thought was asphalt. She mistook it for a scenery deck, and jumped right in it. Unfortunately for her it was actually a chimney. She fell to her death in the boiler at the bottom.
The Collyer brothers
Manner of Death: EccentricityThe Collyer brothers, extreme cases of eccentric compulsive hoarders, were found dead in their home in New York in 1947. The younger brother, Langley, died by falling victim to a booby trap he had set up, causing a mountain of objects, books, and newspapers to fall on him crushing him to death. His blind brother, Homer, who had depended on Langley for care, died of starvation some days later. Their bodies were recovered after massive efforts in removing many tons of debris from their home.
Georgi Markov
Manner of Death: Murdered with an umbrellaGeorgi Ivanov Markov was a Bulgarian dissident writer. In order to silence him, the Bulgarian government decided to have him killed and asked the KGB to help. On September 7, 1978, Markov walked across Waterloo Bridge spanning the River Thames, and was waiting at a bus stop on the other side, when he was jabbed in the calf by a man holding an umbrella. The man apologized and walked away. Markov would later tell doctors that the man had spoken in a foreign accent. Markov recalled feeling a stinging pain from where he had been hit, he assumed by the umbrella tip. That evening he developed a high fever and was admitted to a hospital where he died three days later, on 11 September 1978, at the age of 49. The cause of death was poisoning from a ricin-filled pellet.
John Bowen
Manner of Death: Killed by flying lawnmowerJohn Bowen, a 20-year-old of Nashua, New Hampshire was attending a halftime show at a football game at Shea Stadium on December 9, 1979. During an event which featured novelty and custom-made remote control flying machines, a 40-pound model plane shaped like a lawnmower accidentally dived into the stands with its sharp blades striking Bowen and another spectator and causing severe head injuries. While the other spectator survived, Bowen died in hospital four days later.
David Allen Kirwan
Manner of Death: Dove into a hotpool near boiling pointDavid Allen Kirwan a 24-year-old attempted to rescue a friendâs dog after it fell into Celestine Pool, a hot spring at Yellowstone National Park on July 20, 1981. Despite numerous shouts from bystanders, Kirwan dove headfirst into the pool but was unable to save the dog. After managing to swin back to shore, he was helped out of pool, where his injuries became apparent â the exposure to the 200oF (93oC) water of the hot spring resulted in third-degree burns to 100% of his body and had also blinded him. After being led to the sidewalk, Kirwan reportedly stated: âThat was stupid. How bad am I? That was a stupid thing I did.â When one of Kirwanâs shoes was removed, all of the skin came off with it. He died the next day at a Salt Lake City hospital. Although there have been at least 19 deaths due to scalding at the Yellowstone, this was the only known case where someone died after deliberately jumping into one of the parkâs hot springs.
Dr. Hitoshi Nikaidoh
Manner of Death: Decapitated by an elevatorDr. Hitoshi Nikaidoh (pictured above, left), a surgical doctor, was decapitated as he stepped on to an elevator at Christus St. Joseph Hospital in Houston, Texas on August 16, 2003. According to a witness inside the elevator, the elevator doors closed as Nikaidoh entered, trapping his head inside the elevator with the remainder of his body still outside. His body was later found at the bottom of the elevator shaft while the upper portion of his head, severed just above the lower jaw, was found in the elevator. A subsequent investigation revealed that improper electrical wiring installed by a maintenance company several days earlier had effectively bypassed all of the safeguards.
