Things keeping me awake at night?

Since the footie season ended, I've had a terrible time sleeping at night. Everything seems to be keeping me awake until all hours, and when I try to Analise why? I realize I am worrying over the stupidest of things.............Here are this weeks topics on the worrying agenda..

If Dracula cant see his reflection in the mirror.........how does he get such a perfect part in his hair?
Why do they put frosted glass in the windows of airplane toilets?
If Frankensteins monster was made of parts from other peoples bodies.........who was previously walking round with that head?
The fella who was designing the Drawing Board?.....If he made a mistake .....what did he go back too?

I think it must be my age....anyone else having trouble sleeping? :action-smiley-027:

Yeah!
I want to know who first discovered you could milk a cow.........what were they thinking?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Yeah me
Why is there only one Monopolies Commission 

Yeah!
I want to know who first discovered you could milk a cow.........what were they thinking?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

 

when i was born, why didnt me mum christen me STELLA 

Yeah me
Why is there only one Monopolies Commission 

Clever. I like it. You can stay

If the police arrest a mime artist do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If you leave your windscreen wipers going - could you park illegally without getting a ticket?

At this rate I'm never going to get any kip

Here's one for you Messiah! Why would anyone consider saying boo to a goose? 

Come back downstairs because seen a HUGE Spider beside my bed, and when I went to capture the bugger it got away. I'm not up for eating a Spider tonight!

If Dracula cant see his reflection in the mirror.........how does he get such a perfect part in his hair?
Why do they put frosted glass in the windows of airplane toilets?

I think it must be my age....anyone else having trouble sleeping? :action-smiley-027:

Haha mate of all the things you've said I didn't know lots of them were true..
Why can't Dracula see his reflection?
And maybe so people who feel sick from flying and are puking in the toilet don't feel more sick from looking out the window?  :confuzzled:

Stuff keeping me awake at the mo are:
My new hamster running in his wheel, and just generally being beautiful :hearts:
Worrying about jobs, and the interview I have on Thursday.
Worrying about exam results.

My eldest left for China at the weekend, to take up a teaching position in a brand new school out there.
He sent me an e mail this morning to say he went out for a meal last night, with his new workmates............... .and " the meatballs out there..........
really are the dogs bollocks".....anyone got any sleeping tablets

I start a new job on Monday, but I still have my old job as well, going to try to do both, more money but loads more hassle and stress.  That keeps me awake at night.

BUT the most annoying thing keeping me awake, is the HEAT!   Waking up in the middle of the night sweating like a Turkish Wrestler's jock strap!!  just gone & bought a fan, hope it works, it's not even the middle of summer yet.

DH

The only thing that keeps me awake at night is my Mrs, and no it's not for that! , She has weird dreams and some nights she is twitching away like Michael Flatley doing a Riverdance show. A few months ago I woke up one morning with a nose like Fergie when He's out on the ale it was that red it glowed in the dark, so I take my nose and show it to my wife who then starts to apologise profusely. She then tells me that over the last few nights she had been having nightmares about mice and during the night when she was half asleep she could swear there was one of the little swine's poking out the bed on the pillow next to her, so she cracks it as hard as she can with her best Mike Tyson Replica punch but it didn't move so gathering up some courage she puts the bedside lamp on and notices to her horror (so she says?) that there is no mouse and she has lamped me one on the nose instead!
So you think you might have trouble sleeping? I'm to scared to sleep in case she starts having nightmares about worms next because then I'm really in trouble.

The only things keeping me awake at night at the mo are :

 1. New Job starting Monday

 2. What clothes will i take away on hols with me without having to pay excess baggage charges - again !!   

 3. Whens that yellow ticker on SSN gonna tell us Reds something we are interested in !! 

when I was born, why didnt me mum christen me STELLA 

 

I think that's gonna be your new nickname for me now Smigger. Sorry, I mean Stella 

So you think you might have trouble sleeping? I'm to scared to sleep in case she starts having nightmares about worms next because then I'm really in trouble.

I think you'd probably be best listening out for the mating call of the horn rimmed water buffalo mate! 
(that still makes me laugh that  )

I think you'd probably be best listening out for the mating call of the horn rimmed water buffalo mate! 
(that still makes me laugh that  )

At least if she is making that noise I know she is asleep!, by the way Kenny mate if my Mrs ever asks I didn't call her that as she obviously looks like an angel when she's sleeping :

At least if she is making that noise I know she is asleep!, by the way Kenny mate if my Mrs ever asks I didn't call her that as she obviously looks like an angel when she's sleeping :

Of course! That goes without saying mate 
What makes me laugh about it, is the reference to somebody snoring! I just know for a fact the next time I hear snoring, a horn rimmed water buffalo will pop into my head and then I'll be off laughing...

The only things keeping me awake at night is house hunting with all the fixed rates and mumbo jumbo that I don't understand. And the football shirt game.

Ahh I have a job, maybe two now, wohoo

My interview today kept me awake last night though!

Well Done Nicola...........Thats great I am very pleased for you....Well Done

You shouldnt have worried tho, if you had'nt got the job....you could have sent me and the boy's round....

haha Genbuck that post made me laugh!

Things keeping me up a night.

1. cousin going to afganastan in september

2. how to break the news to smigger thats it's time for her to get off the road becasue im about to get on!

haha Genbuck that post made me laugh!

Things keeping me up a night.

1. cousin going to afganastan in september

2. how to break the news to smigger thats it's time for her to get off the road becasue im about to get on!

First of all, good luck to your cousin mate. Hope he/she comes back safely.
And second of all, you best break that news to Smigger after you've given her a bottle of Stella 

By the way, well done Nicola on the new job!!!!!

Cheers redkenny, sure he'll be fine.
Smigger can you let me know when you've been on the stella? I have something to tell you! 

I've got one...new to all this, so may be way off the 'loon' mark:

Animal Testing or Human Guinea Pig???

This first Suppository!

Now would you be the guy to step forward for this one?

Cheers redkenny, sure he'll be fine.
Smigger can you let me know when you've been on the stella? I have something to tell you! 

You passed your test ??  Well done and congrats Liverbird !!  I'll PM you my number and you can let me know when you go out     

Ahh I have a job, maybe two now, wohoo

My interview today kept me awake last night though!

Well done Nicola !!  I got a new job as well, I start Monday, when do you start yours ?? 

You passed your test ??  Well done and congrats Liverbird !!  I'll PM you my number and you can let me know when you go out     

Well done Nicola !!  I got a new job as well, I start Monday, when do you start yours ?? 

not passed yet smigger, got my test next weekend!

not passed yet smigger, got my test next weekend!

Good Luck then mate !!  Let us know how you get on, which test centre are you going from ?? 

I dont actually know the name of the place i'll post it tomorrow when i can be arsed to find out.

I dont actually know the name of the place I'll post it tomorrow when I can be arsed to find out.

Could be by ours mate - Norris Green? I'll avoid driving past like a possessed hells angel on acid, at the weekend 

I got a new job as well, I start Monday, when do you start yours ?? 

Congratulations Smigger!!!! No more rush hour journeys into town now then?
If you would have let us know sooner I would popped down the offie and got you some of your faves to celebrate

Good luck to everyone starting new jobs, taking tests and waiting for results!
I know that 'night before the new job' feeling, it ain't easy but generally it's worth it in the end!
Exams, everyone does them to a varying degree of difficulty but as long as you give it your all that's what matters.
As for results well, the sky's the limit. If at first you don't succeed try, try again. If it doesn't break you it makes you and you will be rewarded for your efforts!





Just a funny note to end. When I got my GCSE results I was a bit nervous as most people are but the best result was for my woodwork. I struggled like F**k to make a simple mortice and tenon joint during the exam which kinda knackered up the rest of it to as I fell behind. So when I got my result it knew it would be pretty bad but I was horrified to find out they had actually marked me down as ABSENT!     

Could be by ours mate - Norris Green? I'll avoid driving past like a possessed hells angel on acid, at the weekend 

Congratulations Smigger!!!! No more rush hour journeys into town now then?
If you would have let us know sooner I would popped down the offie and got you some of your faves to celebrate

Still got to go into town Kenny, but not quite as far in, now working in the Cotton Exchange just a  bit nearer than going all the way down to the Queens Dock though !!  And i dont have to work anymore weekends - yippee !!    And i dont have to work till 8 o'clock every Wed night, and me wages have gone up, so all in all not too bad at all    Will never have to look for a shift swap for European nights at Anfield anymore on a Wednesday !!  That was a pain in the arse, if couldnt get a swap i used to have to take holidays all the time.  I think we should follow Liverbird when he goes out on his test    We could follow him from the Red Peppers Club    He prob wont tell us where he's going from now !! - sorry Liverbird...

Still got to go into town Kenny, but not quite as far in, now working in the Cotton Exchange just a  bit nearer than going all the way down to the Queens Dock though !!  And I dont have to work anymore weekends - yippee !!    And I dont have to work till 8 o'clock every Wed night, and me wages have gone up, so all in all not too bad at all    Will never have to look for a shift swap for European nights at Anfield anymore on a Wednesday !!  That was a pain in the arse, if couldnt get a swap I used to have to take holidays all the time.  I think we should follow Liverbird when he goes out on his test    We could follow him from the Red Peppers Club    He prob wont tell us where he's going from now !! - sorry Liverbird...

Good stuff Stella Smigger 
Chuffed for you getting the new job. I know what you mean about having to swap shifts on weeknight games. I used to work afternoon shifts and it would be a fight to the death to be able to swap or get a holiday in time. That is certainly one thing that used to keep me awake at night worrying about it!!
Plus you'll be able to have a Stella or ten on a Friday night now hehe...

As for Liverbird Smiggs, you get by the TA and I'll get by the Peppers at the other end. That way, he'll won't be able to escape us! 

Good stuff Stella Smigger 
Chuffed for you getting the new job. I know what you mean about having to swap shifts on weeknight games. I used to work afternoon shifts and it would be a fight to the death to be able to swap or get a holiday in time. That is certainly one thing that used to keep me awake at night worrying about it!!
Plus you'll be able to have a Stella or ten on a Friday night now hehe...

As for Liverbird Smiggs, you get by the TA and I'll get by the Peppers at the other end. That way, he'll won't be able to escape us! 

He'll probably scarper off down Fairmead Road now he's read this ! 

Could be by ours mate - Norris Green? I'll avoid driving past like a possessed hells angel on acid, at the weekend 

Done my test at Norris Green, absolute nightmare to find if you're not from there. None of the locals even seemed to know where it was!

Thanks guys I had my first shift today.. It was like I'd never left hehe.

Good luck with driving test Liverbird!!

My cousin is going to Afghanistan in October too with the Army!

Watch it pullin' outa the Norris Green centre! They fly up and down there! I'm bookin my test as soon as I get the wonga  which might be a while  Good luck with your test Liverbird!

Well in on the first shift! I need a new job aswell as the pub as it's too much working with and serving the same faces all the time! Plus due to a previously underlined lack of wonga! 

I dont actually know the name of the place I'll post it tomorrow when I can be arsed to find out.

any news yet Liverbird ??  Is it this weekend ??  And what Test Centre ??  Just want to make arrangements to meet RedKenny  !! 

any news yet Liverbird ??  Is it this weekend ??  And what Test Centre ??  Just want to make arrangements to meet RedKenny  !! 

 

Don't worry Liverbird. We'll be too busy drinking Stella  Honest....

Don't worry Liverbird. We'll be too busy drinking Stella  Honest....

Stella??  Jesus what an awful beverage!  I like the style of the Aussies.  Fosters all the way!!

Don't tell my mother though,  I will get the cane

Done my test at Norris Green, absolute nightmare to find if you're not from there. None of the locals even seemed to know where it was!

Failed three times there. Thanks for reminding me. 

I got a new job as well, I start Monday, when do you start yours ?? 

Well done to you, and to Nicola and I doubt Liverbird will be troubling any of you near Norris Green when he lives in the Channel Islands... do keep up

Sorry did I answer, I started on Sunday hehe.

Only thing keeping me awake now is my hamster!

Stella??  Jesus what an awful beverage!  I like the style of the Aussies.  Fosters all the way!!

Court, we don't drink it down here mate, it's crap....we just export it

Stella??  Jesus what an awful beverage!  I like the style of the Aussies.  Fosters all the way!!

Don't tell my mother though,  I will get the cane

Court, Stella is an adult beverage, you will learn to appreciate it when you get a little older, I promise you !! 

Even AussieRed doesnt like Fosters !  theyre giving it away 

Well done to you, and to Nicola and I doubt Liverbird will be troubling any of you near Norris Green when he lives in the Channel Islands... do keep up

  Yeah, good point actually if that's the case....

By the way Nicola, good luck to your cousin. Hope he or she returns safely.

Yeah, good point actually if that's the case....

By the way Nicola, good luck to your cousin. Hope he or she returns safely.

RedKenny, fancy a trip to Jersey then ?? 

someone special on my mind !!!  :huggles: 

someone special on my mind !!!  :huggles: 

Well let us into the secret then 

RedKenny, fancy a trip to Jersey then ?? 

Do they sell Stella in Jersey Smigger?

someone special on my mind !!!  :huggles: 

Yeah come on mate. Let's hear who's keeping you awake at night? Actually, forget that.....

Do they sell Stella in Jersey Smigger?
Yeah come on mate. Let's hear who's keeping you awake at night? Actually, forget that.....

They must do RedKenny, and the best thing about it is that its probably duty free !!   

They must do RedKenny, and the best thing about it is that its probably duty free !!  

 
I'll hire a van....it'll be like Max and Paddys trip to France!
Liverbird can drive us back.

I'll hire a van....it'll be like Max and Paddys trip to France!
Liverbird can drive us back.

    With or without 'L' Plates ??  We need to know if he passed his test, he hasnt said anything yet     

ive been worrying about my degree reult. i got it this morning and found out i got a 2.1 so i'm really really happy

I am really happy you got the result you wanted, i have always admired anyone who can apply themselves to studying so well. The only certificates i got where my 25m swimming certificate and my cycling proficiency badge!! so well done.

Yeah congratulations comeonyoureds!!!! 2.1's a boss result! chuffed for you!

   With or without 'L' Plates ??  We need to know if he passed his test, he hasnt said anything yet    

Defo with the L plates Smigger. Wouldn't want to put our Stella in jeopardy now would we 
If you've had your test Liverbird, I hope you passed it mate.

Test Tomorrow! I'll be on the lookout for Smigger and Redkenny!! Bloody Nervous now!

ive been worrying about my degree reult. I got it this morning and found out I got a 2.1 so I'm really really happy

Well done and congrats !! 



Good luck Liverbird, hope you pass, we need you to drive me and RK back home with a lorry load of Stella   

Well done and congrats !! 



Good luck Liverbird, hope you pass, we need you to drive me and RK back home with a lorry load of Stella   

Seriously though Liverbird. Good luck mate.  :superkewl:

Don't let these two put you off mate, good luck with your driving test.

Remember the best drivers pass first time !!

Don't worry about your reverse parking, emergency stop, mirrors, handbrake, indicators, old people crossing the road, kids throwing stuff at your car, smiggs & kenny round the next corner etc.

It's dead easy !!!
Now have an early night, read your highway code and hope for quiet roads tomorrow !!

Best of luck mate 

Remember the best drivers pass first time !!

Yeah me !!!     

Yeah me !!!     

thought you'd come under the category of old people crossing the road   

Don't worry about your reverse parking, emergency stop, mirrors, handbrake, indicators, old people crossing the road, kids throwing stuff at your car, smiggs & kenny round the next corner etc.

You forgot reversing around a corner Tommo 

You forgot reversing around a corner Tommo 

we could always follow him around the course, wouldnt want to frighten him by jumping out !!   

You two are making me F***ing nervous! Im not reading this thread till sunday now!

Aww !! Dont be nervous Liverbird, you will be brill, just take your time, and you'll pass.  When i went on my test, i made an ar*se of reversing around the corner, i just stopped the car safely, and told the examiner i was doing it again.  They said 'fine' and let me do it again and i passed first time.  Promise you that me and RK will stay up here in Redland !!  But we might meet you later for a cyberspace celebratory drink !!   

GOOD LUCK 

thought you'd come under the category of old people crossing the road   

A mature woman has many many attributes Tommo !!   

Well said Smiggs! Good luck Liverbird!

I messed up reversing around the corner on my first test as well. Done exactly the same as you Smigger, but still failed?? Now how does that work I wonder?....

Well said Smiggs! Good luck Liverbird!

I messed up reversing around the corner on my first test as well. Done exactly the same as you Smigger, but still failed?? Now how does that work I wonder?....

You should of worn your low-cut top 

You should of worn your low-cut top 

So the mini skirt was a waste of time then was it?  : 

So the mini skirt was a waste of time then was it?  : 

Not completely, you just forgot to shave your legs

Not completely, you just forgot to shave your legs

thanks for the congrats everyone!  and good luck liverbird!  :happy:

^ Congrats!!

I am going to sleep well tonight cos I'm shattered hehe.

I PASSED!!!!!

I PASSED!!!!!

Congrats LB 

I PASSED!!!!!

Congratulations mate!

I PASSED!!!!!

YES!!!!! Get in there!

I knew you'd pass mate. Looks like me and Smigger have got somone else to pick on now 

Well in Liverbird!!!

I PASSED!!!!!

Oh well done Liverbird, i'm thrilled to bits for you, i was panicking all day in case me and RK had put you off !!     Better watch out for you on the road now eh ??   :superkewl:

Well Done !!! liverbird.........It was never in doubt really was it ?

well done liverbird! 

Ahh well done.. how many minors?!

Old topic, but thought I had to post in it!

Kids keeping me awake tonight - number one peed his bed, number two wanted a glass of water, and number three wanted a bottle. All that done, rolled back into back, but couldn't get to sleep!

Plenty of stuff to worry about, isn't it funny how problems seem about a thousand times more complicated in the middle of the night, you worry about stuff you wouldn't think twice about in the light of day.

Sometimes funny things - I was wondering about all the oil we're pumping out of the planet, rapidly running out, then thought "What happens underground when we've taken so many millions upon billions of litres of oil? Is the entire Middle East one day going to collapse?". We could forget about DIC or any Arab oil-based company taking over from Hicks and Gillett then! 

Going to get back to bed now, at 31 years of age, I need my beauty sleep more than ever!

Things keeping me awake seems to be anything and everything. Such as, i wonder if it's raining 30 miles from me

Other things such as my nephew deciding he wants to go home at 4am and starts crying - Not best pleased about that seeing as my room is right next to his!

Things include....

Not being tired
Not having any reason to get up early in the morning so no need to sleep early
Not being bothered to shut down the computer

Plenty of stuff to worry about, isn't it funny how problems seem about a thousand times more complicated in the middle of the night, you worry about stuff you wouldn't think twice about in the light of day.

Sometimes funny things - I was wondering about all the oil we're pumping out of the planet, rapidly running out, then thought "What happens underground when we've taken so many millions upon billions of litres of oil? Is the entire Middle East one day going to collapse?". We could forget about DIC or any Arab oil-based company taking over from Hicks and Gillett then! 

Going to get back to bed now, at 31 years of age, I need my beauty sleep more than ever!

 

Brilliant. I'll let you know if I dream about land collapsing mate. Because after reading that, I probably will. 

If freezing is zero degrees, what's twice as cold?

The thing that keeps me awake at night is wondering if crop circles can be square.

 If we only use bath towels when we are clean.Why do they need to be washed?

                                                       

Girls, can't fend them off, they always wake me up for more, im sick of it.

If freezing is zero degrees, what's twice as cold?

-136 degrees C.

what about if a big cave appeared in the earth somewhere and all the water leaked into it, that would keep me awake

Toothache has kept me awake for the past two nights

but it's all sorted now.

Worrying how I'm gonna find me spendies for 2 holidays 

Have just booked today to go here on 29th April, 8 weeks away     Then off to Tenerife on 4th July.     Sure I'll manage though, might have to sell me body, to make up the shortfall !!  (That's at least a guaranteed £5.00)   

http://www.olympicholidays.com/cyprus/protaras/domniki-apartments-and-pool/q.sp.11404..q.html

Last night? Worrying about this job I've got coming up and regretting having a parfait before going to bed...

The thought of getting up for work in the morning