Today in shock news it was reported that a Liverpool fan known as Kik filed an injunction against Tom Hicks and George Gillette to stop them from being utter cu*ts.
Pursuant to this, Kik (inc) has also filed a lawsuit suing Hicks and Gillette, claiming damages from them for a new computer chair, monitor and keyboard, as he simultaneously spat out his drink and pissed himself at the same time whilst reading of news of the lawsuit filed in Texas.
KiK has also filed for damages citing emotional turmoil, as he bought the computer chair many years ago for £1.50 from a car boot sale, but because of the length of ownership has grown extremely attached to it, claiming "it's like one of the family"
In a statement released minutes ago, Kik stated "It's a f**king travesty, and highway robbery. These two jokers made a load of claims so spurious that I spat out my drink and lost control of my bladder at the same time. I had great emotional attachment to that chair, and I know people have been after it cos it's so comfy. It's a conspiracy by those two, because I sent them an email about my comfy chair, and said they couldn't have it. They replied "if we can't have it, no-one can"
A spokesman for H&G declined to comment, but it is understood that frantic machinations are taking place behind closed doors in an effort to delay or settle with KiK before he gets his big mate on them.
In aother development, it has been reported that members of LFC REDS have joined what is now a class action suit against H&G citing similar charges.
One member said "It was horrible. One minute I was enjoying a pina colada, and tabbing between thai anal porn and the reds website, and the next thing I knew, I had shot my load through a combination of laughter and reading too many redflcblood posts. I made a right mess of my chair, monitor and keyboard - the mrs will never forgive me, so I am suing tham cu*ts."
Another member stated that "I was reading the forum, minding my own business when all of a sudden this lawsuit sh*te came up. I have to admit that it caused me a lot of upset, especially the bit about the chuckle brothers, cos now all I can see is rushie and aldridge in my head when I really want to diddle the mrs. It put me right off my stroke, I can tell ya"
The veracity of the claim is being examined by legal experts who have stated "They have as much chance as Tom Hicks does of winning his frivolous lawasuit"
However, in a recent twist, a top London law firm has agreed to take on the case, stating "We take these claims as seriously as we take Mr Hicks' claim"
more to follow...
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