The relationship/potential relationship advice thread

Hi, me again!

Not sure I'm after advice exactly because I think I know what the majority will say anyway. Just want to share a bit of an update with you.

So I've told you about Sarah and the fact that she's coming down in a week and a bit to 'watch a film'. Looking forward to it but the fact is we were both pissed when we met so meeting her when sober might be different. Who knows.

Donna now has a missus named Lotti and I'd drawn a line under that one but that hasn't been as simple as I'd hoped. Donna spent all last weekend with me as it was something we'd planned before she met Lotti and we had a great time. Once she'd left I found I missed her company but swallowed it down and tried to get on with things. I couldn't help feeling that if that had been the first time we'd met and before she met Lotti then things might have been different but ho hum. Trouble is, as much as her missus is all gushy on Fb to her, Donna isn't really replying and is texting me a LOT, telling me what a great time she had. Not only that but when I told her about Sarah, she asked me a million questions and when I asked her about Lotti, she just said she was seeing how it goes and not looking for anything serious yet. Also, me and Donna are sharng a hotel room together next weekend after a festival + aftershow party. As Lotti lives nearby I told Donna I wouldn't be at all offended if she'd rather stay with Lotti and said the room was paid for anyway. She replied saying there was no way she would change, we'd planned it together and it was us two all the way.
I know I know, I'm just over-analysing things again and tying myself in knots. Can't help it.

Then there's Tina. She has a lad who turns 2 soon (not a problem in itself) but also a boyfriend who's just finishing a 2 and a half year stretch in prison. I didn't know that when I met her, it was when I was at my mate's unit fixing my car. She's a friend of my mate's girlfriend and came down from Manchester to visit them, that's why she was here. We have absolutely nothing in common but you know when someone has that air about them? Well anyway, we get on ridiculously well. She's very chatty but also down-to-earth.
Now obviously when I found out about her fella, I said straight away that I wasn't going to do anything with her. Not because I was worried about him but because I wouldn't agree with treating him like that. We have carried on talking though and she has suggested that it's unlikely that their relationship would continue for very long once he's out if she suspects that he hasn't changed. I told her, unselfishly that the best thing for her and her lad would be if her fella HAS changed and they can stay together as a family. For that reason I said I was going to back off.
I was at my mate's unit today and his missus was at a bar so we popped there for a quick drink afterwards. Guess who was there? Yep, Tina. I only stayed for an hour but it was an hour of constant talking and I felt totally at home with her. My mate said that as soon as she got to Stoke, she immediately started quizzing him about me, where I was, when he'd last seen me, if I was coming around, if I'd mentioned her....

So to be honest, my head's a bit of a mess tonight and I just thought I'd share that lot with you. Tina's very interested, Sarah's obviously interested, I'm interested in both but probably still more interested in Donna, who probably isn't interested 

Rep, I think both of them are interested mate 

Thing is, neither of them are really free yet are they?  Both are in other relationships, if I was you, I'd carry on as you are, and let things happen naturally, one of the relationships is gonna fall apart,  sounds like they are both skating on thin ice at the moment.  Donna's girlfriend sounds like she's more interested than Donna is, and Sarah's boyfriend sounds like a non-starter if he hasn't changed his ways.

Which one do you feel most comfortable with?

Rep, I think both of them are interested mate 

Thing is, neither of them are really free yet are they?  Both are in other relationships, if I was you, I'd carry on as you are, and let things happen naturally, one of the relationships is gonna fall apart,  sounds like they are both skating on thin ice at the moment.  Donna's girlfriend sounds like she's more interested than Donna is, and Sarah's boyfriend sounds like a non-starter if he hasn't changed his ways.

Which one do you feel most comfortable with?

You've misread, Smiggs.

Donna has a missus.
Tina has the fella in prison.
Sarah is single (2 kids).

That's why I said I suspected I knew what most poeple would advise.

I love reading about your love life Rep....it's so complicated but so interesting at the same time  I bet sometimes you don't know if your coming or going or who you're going to get involved with next.

Just be careful how involved you get hun, you may end up getting hurt.....for the record, from what you say, Donna still sounds quite keen to me....

You've misread, Smiggs.

Donna has a missus.
Tina has the fella in prison.
Sarah is single (2 kids).

That's why I said I suspected I knew what most poeple would advise.

   Bloody hell Rep, how complicated is your love life ?   

Re-read it and I'm in agreement with Cas.    Donna sounds like she's not arsed about Lotti, think she's thinking about you 

I think Donna bats both ways, don't you Smiggs   

That's how it seems to me as well but I'm conscious that I may just be reading things the way I want to. Also if I mess up other chances because I wrongly suspect that Donna is interested, that would be stupid as well.

Donna really has got into my head, hasn't she?!

And yes, she does bat both ways, I knew that from the start,

Aww Rep, I want to give you a big hug 

Don't really know what to say to you to be honest, I think you've just got to play it by ear and see what happens and maybe just take your chance if the opportunity arises.

Good luck hun.

Keep us updated, so I know when to buy me new hat 

Hahaha, don't think you'll be needing a new hat just yet!

Dates for your diary.

Tuesday April 12th - Tea at my mate's girlfriend's house with Tina.

Sunday April 17th - Festival + Aftershow with Donna & Lotti then hotel with Donna.

Tuesday April 19th - Sarah coming to mine to watch a film. 

Who the hell needs soap operas, when we've got Rep?
Just kidding mate. I'd say don't over think, just let time guide you.
Cheers Rep   and lay low for a wile dude  

Edit: to hell with laying low, tight agenda there Rep 

Hahaha, don't think you'll be needing a new hat just yet!

Dates for your diary.

Tuesday April 12th - Tea at my mate's girlfriend's house with Tina.

Sunday April 17th - Festival + Aftershow with Donna & Lotti then hotel with Donna.

Tuesday April 19th - Sarah coming to mine to watch a film. 

I'll be on the way back from Liverpool next Sunday...I just might call round 

Hahaha, don't think you'll be needing a new hat just yet!

Dates for your diary.

Tuesday April 12th - Tea at my mate's girlfriend's house with Tina.

Sunday April 17th - Festival + Aftershow with Donna & Lotti then hotel with Donna.

Tuesday April 19th - Sarah coming to mine to watch a film. 

Looking forward to the 13th, 18th and 20th 

, thanks Kate.

Could be an interesting month.

I'll be on the way back from Liverpool next Sunday...I just might call round 

But I'll be in a hotel in Nottingham. You planning on nicking my new telly or something? 

Looking forward to the 13th, 18th and 20th 

I'll keep you updated

Tuesday April 12th - Tea at my mate's girlfriend's house with Tina.

Sunday April 17th - Festival + Aftershow with Donna & Lotti then hotel with Donna.

Tuesday April 19th - Sarah coming to mine to watch a film. 

That's three fixtures in one week. Luckily you have a home match last, so you'll be able to rest your best moves for that one after two strenuous away fixtures. Hopefully you don't pull a groin on the unfamiliar pitch at the hotel. 

That's three fixtures in one week. Luckily you have a home match last, so you'll be able to rest your best moves for that one after two strenuous away fixtures. Hopefully you don't pull a groin on the unfamiliar pitch at the hotel. 

I just spewed my soda all over my keyboard laughing at this...

Totally worth it tho.

Hahaha! Nice analogy Soxfan. I think the home fixture is a banker, injuries permitting.

That's three fixtures in one week. Luckily you have a home match last, so you'll be able to rest your best moves for that one after two strenuous away fixtures. Hopefully you don't pull a groin on the unfamiliar pitch at the hotel. 

I do not know how he finds time to go to the match.

I have to say, Rep, that as much as I know you like Donna she is the one I'm least keen on for you. Maybe I'm reading it the wrong way, but I don't like the way she's playing both sides. I don't mean her being bi- either.

Tina sounds great, but like you said, wait until things unfold with her boyfriend. And I don't care what you say. The fact she's got a boyfriend serving 2.5 years is enough of a deterrent for me to walk away. Sounds like it has the potential for a whole lot of drama.

That leaves us with Sarah who for me is your best prospect at the moment. Let's see how you two get on sober, though, before rushing to conclusions.

I know life is better when you have somebody, but don't run into a relationship without being completely sure about it (if you're thinking long-term which I think you are). As it is, you've expressed doubts over all three. Admittedly it's been of different degrees and to be honest it's how I based my feelings.

I'm hoping for the best for you, Rep. Good luck with everything and be careful not to get yourself hurt. No one's as important as yourself.

I have to say, Rep, that as much as I know you like Donna she is the one I'm least keen on for you. Maybe I'm reading it the wrong way, but I don't like the way she's playing both sides. I don't mean her being bi- either.

Tina sounds great, but like you said, wait until things unfold with her boyfriend. And I don't care what you say. The fact she's got a boyfriend serving 2.5 years is enough of a deterrent for me to walk away. Sounds like it has the potential for a whole lot of drama.

That leaves us with Sarah who for me is your best prospect at the moment. Let's see how you two get on sober, though, before rushing to conclusions.

I know life is better when you have somebody, but don't run into a relationship without being completely sure about it (if you're thinking long-term which I think you are). As it is, you've expressed doubts over all three. Admittedly it's been of different degrees and to be honest it's how I based my feelings.

I'm hoping for the best for you, Rep. Good luck with everything and be careful not to get yourself hurt. No one's as important as yourself.

Truer words could not hav ben spoken. Spot on.

Thanks for the constructive advice, BR. For the record, I'm not actually trying to get into anything, these things just seem to be falling into place to some extent, that's what tends to happen though isn't it?

I didn't try to pull Sarah, she just showed up on a night out and we had a great night.

Tina showed up when I was fixing my car and we clicked instantly and very naturally. With regards to her boyfriend, I've tried to be honest with myself and make sure it's not the thrill of playing with fire that's spurring me on and I'm pretty sure it's not. I can cool things off and let her deal with that relationship but it's her that's trying to move things forward with me. Hard for me to be cold with her because we get on so well.

I totally understand your concerns about Donna but I don't think it's deliberate. I fu**ed up early on by making it obvious how much I liked her and there's few things less attractive is there? She's gone on to get into this other retionship and THEN we've spent some quality time together. This may sound an arrogant thing to say but I think being with me when I'm totally being myself and just having fun has made her see me slightly differently.

To give Sarah a chance was the advice I was expecting but I'd have to get Donna out of my head.

Thanks again though, Eric, you seem to have grasped the situation pretty perfectly.

No problem, pal. I didn't realize that you weren't necessarily looking for anything serious. That's certainly a game changer. The message remains the same though.  See what develops and don't get hurt.

After 9 years together, a kid, a mortgage (in my name) 3 fish, a dog, 3 rabbits and a cat me and my ex have now called it a day.

When the spark goes, you know, and staying together for the sake of 'commitments' just isnt how we should live.

So I'm back on the single train.  Dont know how I feel about that one tbh.  When I had my last first date Men In Black II was in the cimena!

Feel for you mate, in a similar situation myself.

Just trying to think everything will work itself out in time, best wishes.

I'm surprised RoF still hasn't posted in here.