Funny Footballing Quotes

The article is from Empireofthekop which I thought was really funny http://www.empireofthekop.com/anfield/?p=30207&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

“My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7″
David Beckham

“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.”
Mark Viduka

“Alex Ferguson is the best manager I’ve ever had at this level.  Well, he’s the only manager I’ve actually had at this level. But he’s the best manager I’ve ever had.”
David Beckham

“If you don’t believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.”
Neville Southall

“I’ve had 14 bookings this season – 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.”
Paul Gascoigne

“I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.”
Alan Shearer

“I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona “
Mark Draper

“You’ve got to believe that you’re going to win, and I believe we’ll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we’re knocked out.”
Peter Shilton

“I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don’t want to leave Leicester “
Stan Collymore

“I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.”
Ade Akinbiyi

“Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.”
Ian Wright

“I’m as happy as I can be – but I have been happier.”
Ugo Ehiogu

” Leeds is a great club and it’s been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.”
Jonathan Woodgate

“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.”
Stuart Pearce

“I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.”
Lee Hendrie

“Germany are a very difficult team to play…they had 11 internationals out there today.”
Steve Lomas

“I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.”
Barry Venison

“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.”
David Beckham

“The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European.”
Phil Neville

“All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.”
Mitchell Thomas

“One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best.”
Alan Shearer

“I’d rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.”
Johnny Giles

“Sometimes in football you have to score goals.”
Thierry Henry

Looks like Bekham is very intelligent.

I think the legend that is Mr Ian Rush may just get a mention here 

"When the seagulls follow the trawler it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea"
Eric Cantona

great one

The legend that is Jason McAteer needs his own album of quotes!! :d

1) During Ireland's successful World Cup campaign in America, McAteer was asked by team-mates if he wanted a game of golf. McAteer replied that he didn't, and relaxed in his hotel watching television. Upon switching to the sports channel he saw that the Open golf was on, turned to one of the team's non-playing personnel and asked "Is that the lads playing golf then?"


2) Jason McAteer on a credit card form
"What is your position at the company? "
"Right back."

3) "We seem to be a side that if we don't score we get beat"

4) on asked how many slices he would like when ordering a pizza
'just the 4 please, I could never eat 8'  

5) While out drinking in Dublin, he went up to the barman and asked him
"do you sell that Guiness stuff?"

6) on meeting Jimmy White, the snooker player, he goes up to him and shouts
"Jimmy! one-hundred and eeeeiiiiiggghhhhhttttyyy yyy"


he is some legend, even if it was just for THAT goal against Holland!

“Germany are a very difficult team to play…they had 11 internationals out there today.”
Steve Lomas

This one is pure genius.

Someone mentioned Rushie - didn't he say something like "Italy is like a whole other country" or something close to that?

Someone mentioned Rushie - didn't he say something like "Italy is like a whole other country" or something close to that?

I couldn't settle in Italy, it was like living in a foreign country.

Situation: Uruguay- Argentina clash, many years ago
Javier Saviola is tackled roughly by Lembo, Uruguay Defender.
Saviola" Hey, easy, do you know how much this pair of legs are worth?"
Lembo" I know that broken..just about nothing"

Situation: Cristiano"primma donna" Ronaldo complaining about Osasuna fans throwing football into the field in a clash against Madrid.
Pandiani" stop whinning, its you who threw the balls to the stands anyway"

Situation: Uruguay- Argentina clash, many years ago
Javier Saviola is tackled roughly by Lembo, Uruguay Defender.
Saviola" Hey, easy, do you know how much this pair of legs are worth?"
Lembo" I know that broken..just about nothing"

That's a F***ing class response by Lembo!

I couldn't settle in Italy, it was like living in a foreign country.

He never said that, Kenny revealed in his book he made it up.

GOD, I wish i could translate some of the pfrases from Bambino Veira, an Argentinian player from the 70s. PRICELESS, but most dont make any sense in English.
Here are some
" Ive got more work to do than Titanics Plummber"

The manager shouted to him "run, man you are just standing there" He replied " get in and run yourself, you go to bed at 8 pm" The man was known for going out late at night.

Match deep down the Argentinian South.Bambino is on the bench, freezing. The manager tells him to warm up, he is going in. He replies" you sure, mate?, number 10 is playing a hell of a match"

Same scenario as above, but in Northern Argentina. Hot as Hell. "Are you sure mate?, I think Tarzan got an Insolation here"

Talking about the surrounding of a Buenos Aires Stadium" Rambo got mugged here"

"We parked the bus, and they got the goal trough the window"

A night at a party, Bambino hooks up with a girl. He gets her up to his room, and his team mates realize the girl is in fact a Transvesti. They run to tell him, but when they knock the door, Bambino opens dressed with a towel and says"Too late, man, toooo late"

Robbie Fowler on becoming a recognised premier league footballer.

Nothing had changed in my routine, except that when I went down the chippy and got me special fried rice, it would be wrapped in a newspaper that had my picture all over it.

"The Pope, Frank SInatra and me are the only people to have silenced Maracana Stadium"
Alcides Edgardo Ghiggia, who score the winning goal in the Final of the 1950 WC in Brazil against Brazil

"Beautiful how David Villa goes into the one-on-one situation against two."
Jürgen Klinsmann, World Cup 2010

France 98. England squad had a bet with each other who could name the most song titles in interviews they did with the media. They each picked an artist out of a hat before the bet began. Theres some funny ones. I remember Southgate and Shearer making me laugh. If anybody can find footage of this I'll be gratefull, im in work at the moment!

Here you go Carroll

Cant remember the name of the player, but after a hard game a reporter asked him if he had balls of steel
"Flesh and bone, just as everyone else, man"

, balls of bone. You could break a girl's chin with those!

I hope you all will enjoy this;

Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right .�-By Bryan Clough.

Gordon Strachan was asked by a TV interviewer for a quick word and Strachan replied 'velocity'

The trouble with the internet, is that it makes posts like this kind of pointless, because all you have to do is type in 'funny after dinner speeches'. Still, I wanted to share this because, well, it's funny

"Carlton Palmer can trap the ball further than I can kick it" 
~ Ron Atkinson

EDIT: I'm sure I put this in General Football forum. Feel free to relocate.

sh*t focking sh*t talk of winning title is a joke were not gunna finish in top 5 ffs all the so called big teams have beat swansea and guess what we cant and weve spent over 100 million and kk bringing subs on so late pisses me off just like that  fo*king face rubber roy  were fo*king sh*t end off we give the other team to much respect and know team is scared of us anymore and im affraid we're  never gunna have that fear to the other teams again NEVER what a BIG PILE OF SH*T ,IKKWT yer right cant beat a so called small team ,im affraid thats us now Small

Thought that was a rather funny one