Your worst football cliche

My no.1 is without doubt.....

"(insert team X) to sign the NEW...(insert good players name here)."

e.g. "Liverpool looking to sign the new Gerrard."

I hate this.  Lazy journalism at best.  Newsnow is often littered with lines like this.

At the end of the day it was a game of two halfs...

:shudder

At the end of the day it was a game of two halfs...

:shudder

That's one of the worst, as is:

"That's a really important time to score."

"Transfer War Chest"

Like the owners hand the manager a box full of money

Swooped.

If I was a player I'd be terrified of all these big clubs swooping down for me

unveiled... like they suddendly whip off a blanket for the new signing or gaffer

Don't know if you hear it a lot in England, but "2-0 is a dangerous score" is such a stupid cliché. I understand the logic that a team tends to slow down with a 2 goal margin; but if 2-0 is dangerous, 1-0 is even more, ffs.

If they get a goal it will all change. . . Well of course it will

e.g. "Liverpool looking to sign the new Gerrard."

And,

"This manager gives/doesn't give enough freedom to his players to express themselves"

'The new ...' does my nut.

And what pisses me off more is when it's only because they are from the same nation.

Remind me not to tell you guys that Silva is the new Ronaldo

'The new ...' does my nut.

And what pisses me off more is when it's only because they are from the same nation.

Yeah, and/or from the same club as well. For example, I remember Hernanes being dubbed 'the new Kaka' by some European websites. They're completely different types of midfielders, the only thing in common being they're both Brazilian and started their careers playing for São Paulo.

We're going to take it one game at a time ...

Not really a cliche but I detest the use of the word literally by Jamie Redknapp!

I remember him once saying "Steven Gerrard has literally left him for dead there"

'Marquee signing'.

'He's got a good touch for a big man'

Yeah, and/or from the same club as well. For example, I remember Hernanes being dubbed 'the new Kaka' by some European websites. They're completely different types of midfielders, the only thing in common being they're both Brazilian and started their careers playing for São Paulo.

Lavezzi is the new Tevez is my pet peeve.

Not really a cliche but I detest the use of the word literally by Jamie Redknapp!

I remember him once saying "Steven Gerrard has literally left him for dead there"

Yeah, that's a bad one that's crept into commentary too. I mean, we know all about Stevie's past problems with a bit of violence but if he's LITERALLY leaving people for dead we might have to do something about it.....

Another one is "Oh, sure team A wins, but team B plays more attractive, flowing football"

aka Arsenal supporters 

"He has two left feet"

Yeah, that's a bad one that's crept into commentary too. I mean, we know all about Stevie's past problems with a bit of violence but if he's LITERALLY leaving people for dead we might have to do something about it.....

Lmao

There are more from Jamie too...

"These balls now - they literally explode off your feet."

"Alonso and Sissoko have been picked to literally sit in front of the back four."

"Steven Gerrards literally left Ben Haim for dead there."

"Peter Schmeichel will be like a father figure to Kasper Schmeichel."

 

Another cliche that gets on my nerves in football is a player having a "Sweet left foot" (why is it never a sweet right foot!?)

Certain words when the press refer to stories regarding transfers.  The word 'battling' is a good example.

Team X are battling (really?) to sign player Y

Team X are battling with team Y to sign player A

Also when players say 'I am going to kick on' or 'push on'.  Aaargghh!!!

'Arsenal's youngsters' is becoming a bit of cliche, especially when the average age is not that low.

How about Wenger's lame excuses every year : "This is a young team and we will surely do better next season..." or something like that. Really original, that, repeating every year and winning nothing.