Your worst football cliche

How about Wenger's lame excuses every year : "This is a young team and we will surely do better next season..." or something like that. Really original, that, repeating every year and winning nothing.

Three years ago he said his team would be able to beat anyone.  It hasn't happened.  I believe he suffers from Barcelonavision, which is a condition where you think your team are actually Barcelona (but they aren't).

I seem to remember another Jamie 'mockney' Redknapp spinning out:
'Steven Gerrard HAS to play centre midfield...' despite scoring 23 goals from a right midfield/free role during the season he started spinning that one.

"Cultured Left Foot"

Launch.

As in Liverpool are set to launch a bid for...

Hate that.

Launch.

As in Liverpool are set to launch a bid for...

Hate that.

Whoooooooooooooosh!!

I hate transfer terms as well.

Statements like "winning the race to sign" "edging ahead of *insert team* to sign..."

Another one I hate is "this game needs a goal"

When interviewing players: 'We're just going to go out there and try and win/our best/score.'

Well I f***ing hope so.

The old "The Ref was not on our side" style quotes.  Of course the ref wasn't on your side, their f'n neutral you fool.

Whoooooooooooooosh!!

I hate transfer terms as well.

Statements like "winning the race to sign" "edging ahead of *insert team* to sign..."

Another one I hate is "this game needs a goal"

Haha, you beat me to it.  I cannot stand the use of the word 'race' in transfer terms, or 'war' for that matter.

"At sixes and sevens"

".. Just missed a sitter for ..."

"He's been a great servant to the club."

No he hasn't, he's been paid millions for however many years to play a game that any fan would love to do for free!!!

My mom thinks ( she doesn't watch too much football ) it should be "The X club signed a player" and not "The X club bought a player. Its not a human trafficking racket, she says.

Obviously; the overuse of word obviously... I hate it and it makes all footballers look like 'tards.

How expensive is proper media training FFS?

Not really a cliche but something I'm sick of looking at is sky sports news 'transfer spend totalizer'. I don't give a sh*te how much the clubs have spent and it has zero relevance on what's going to happen in the league.

Something I find funny is in post match interviews the way footballers have to squeeze their left earlobe to make the words come out like it's a tiny cows udder and the words are the milk.

rooneys udders contain curdled words.

Two more clichés that grate; Hollywood Pass & Early Doors.

The biggest one for me is players being referred to as a 'quarterback'

Commentators seem to cream themselves saying it when talking about Xabi Alonso and Adam when he was at Blackpool.

This is football with a round ball not an egg!!

Last piece of the jigsaw

Obviously; the overuse of word obviously.

Irony at it's best!

I don't like, "he's been a great servant to the club"

They're paid millions a year to play football. 

"I'll jizz my pants if we sign [insert foreign sounding name here]" more often found posted on football forums than spoken by commentators...

Wing Wizard. . . Commonly known as a left footed left side midfielder

Wing Wizard. . . Commonly known as a left footed left side midfielder

Means something totally different if you can't pronounce your R's.

Lowd of the Wings

Lowd of the Wings

The fellowship of the wing?

AKA A gay commune.