The Official: Laugh At Everton Thread

Laugh at Everton officially in this topic!

Post your facts, jokes, and humiliating stories in this thread.

Shall I dare to start us off? :

Newsflash:  Everton Football Club has been held at gun point this afternoon.  The gunman fled shortly before Police eventually arrived at the crimescene.
The only contents stolen from the ground were, an empty trophy case, a promotional mobile phone - along with a free season ticket.

We believe the suspect to be, this man



 

Heard Defra have sealed off Goodison after news that 11 dumb animals were seen wandering around in a confused state last Thursday 

haha

A Joke
Q: What is the difference between Everton FC and Foot And Mouth?
A: Foot And Mouth made it to Europe!!!!!!!

And a picture


And some more jokes
EVERTON SOUVENIR SHOP

EVERTON TABLE CLOTHS - Suitable for any occasion, but tend to slip down the table after a short while £10.00

EVERTON VIDEOS - All the highlights from the last 20years.
This 10-minute video includes many re runs and is a must for all the fans. £ 9.99

EVERTON BANNERS -Complete with interchangeable slogans e.g.
LEE OUT, ROYLE OUT, SMITH OUT, LET ME OUT etc £15.00

EVERTON BRA -One for the ladies in team colours, comes with little support and no cups. £5.00
Roy Evans and Mike Walker are being interviewed on Scouse FM.
Interviewer: “So, Mike, what are your ambitions for Everton this season?”
Mike: “Well, basically to stay in the Premier League.”
Interviewer: “And you, Roy?”
Roy: “To win the FA Cup, the Coca Cola Cup, the Premiership and get into Europe next season.”
Interviewer: “Don't you think you're being a bit unrealistic there, Roy?”
Roy: “Well, but Mike started it.”
What's the difference between Everton an the compass? - The compass has more points.

EVERTON SOUVENIR SHOP

EVERTON TABLE CLOTHS - Suitable for any occasion, but tend to slip down the table after a short while £10.00

EVERTON VIDEOS - All the highlights from the last 20years.
This 10-minute video includes many re runs and is a must for all the fans. £ 9.99

EVERTON BANNERS -Complete with interchangeable slogans e.g.
LEE OUT, ROYLE OUT, SMITH OUT, LET ME OUT etc £15.00

EVERTON BRA -One for the ladies in team colours, comes with little support and no cups. £5.00

All items in Souvenir Shop come with a free season ticket! 

Or better still, just for coming in, you get a free season ticket! 

Know they won tonight but I suppose we can laugh at their Keeper's injury?

Unless that isn't politically correct?

Know they won tonight but I suppose we can laugh at their Keeper's injury?

Unless that isn't politically correct?

Head injury? Isn't that a requirement for Toffee goalies?

Perhaps he was also doing a gig with Sigue-Sigue-Sputnik after the match, seeing as bonuses aren't what they might be...

The title of the thread is funny on it's own! Good one Court!!

The title of the thread is funny on it's own! Good one Court!!

Just the little caption below the board name made me think.  Hey, this forum doesn't have it's very own thread to laugh at the bitters. 

I just love this picture   

Absolute classic!! Haven't seen that one before Court. That's getting bluetooth'd to my phone and getting sent to some bitter mates ASAP!

Just the little caption below the board name made me think.  Hey, this forum doesn't have it's very own thread to laugh at the bitters. 

I just love this picture  

Did County Road Kopite put that up, I wonder

Did County Road Kopite put that up, I wonder

  I wouldn't be surprised - the writing is a bit wonky. He'd probably been on his dads Stella!

Ohh yeah.  Bluetooth all the way.

Materazzi used to play for Everton didn't he?

Free beers on us if that was Joey!! 

Free beers on us if that was Joey!! 

Actually, that's just made me think. I wonder if Joey has actually drank Chang lager?

A friend of mine is an Everton fan - he said he's tasted it.  Apparently it's gorgeous.

Let me translate that for you, it tates like piss! 

Everton have a new sponsor:  EASY JET.

In and Out of Europe in 90 minutes.
Two Everton fans observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of a Mercedes with a coat hanger.

One Everton fan said: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"

The other fan said: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!"

How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb? As many as you like, they will never see the light.

After Everton's crap start to the season I nailed my season ticket to the club gates in disgust. Next  day I had a change of heart and went back for it - and some b***ard had ncked the nail.

Rumour has it that Everton have got a new sponsor: Tampax. The board thought it was an  appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period.

What have Everton and a three pin plug got in common?
Their both useless in Europe!

How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb? As many as you like, they will never see the light.

After Everton's crap start to the season I nailed my season ticket to the club gates in disgust. Next  day I had a change of heart and went back for it - and some b***ard had ncked the nail.

Rumour has it that Everton have got a new sponsor: Tampax. The board thought it was an  appropriate change as the club is going through a very bad period.

What have Everton and a three pin plug got in common?
Their both useless in Europe!

 

Love it.

I wonder how long it will be until an everton fan stumbles across this thread and quickly signs up? The reaction will be very well thought out, no doubt. 

A new Premiership league table based on how active fans are online has Liverpool at the top of the table, with Everton languishing at the bottom. Nothing new there then


Ask.com looked at the number of searches fans made, whether it was looking for information on new players, news reports or buying merchandise.



Liverpool Football Club scored the highest number of points with Chelsea second and Manchester United third.



Leeds United and Birmingham City managed to get into the top ten – at the seventh and eighth positions - while Coventry City came in at number eleven, despite all three featuring in the Championship this season. Ask said it puts this down to strong levels of loyalty by fans of the Championship teams.

I never knew until yesterday...



Why Pete... just why?

I never knew until yesterday...

Why Pete... just why?

Simple, Court...

...pity.

The sponser says it all... NEC... Never Ever Champions! 

Found this bit of info for you...

Liverpool's derby rivals, Everton succeeded in gaining Beardsley's signature when he joined them on 5 August 1991 for a fee of £1 million. He made his debut on 17 August in a 2–1 defeat to Nottingham Forest at the City Ground. By now he was aged 30.

Beardsley crossed the city to join Everton, a move which would normally incur the antipathy of the Liverpool supporters. However, he was forgiven because the fans were unhappy that Beardsley had not been retained and blamed the club, rather than the player. He played well and scored freely for the blue half of Merseyside,
 though ultimately he won nothing!!   

hahaha Everton 1-0 down! Lovely stuff!