City to shut the cu*ts up about how that F***ing small time sh*t supported club are the clear favourites and there's no point anybody else being in the competition. And for Phil Thompson to turn to that gobs***e Paul Merson and say "a few weeks back Merse, you said Liverpool couldn't win the European Cup for a sixth time because Man City were still in the competiton. Well guess what you F***ing Chelsea loving alcoholic gambling c**t, my club, Liverpool F***ing Football Club have just knocked those cu*ts out."
Saying all that, you wanna be playing in front of full crowds so that rules City out because they can't sell Maine Road out because they don't have enough F***ing fans.
So United because there's no better feeling in the world than beating those bas**rds. The Europa League a couple of years back proved that. But I don't want those cu*ts progressing so that rules them out.
In that case it'll have to be Juventus because then the omens from 2005 can kick in. You know, beating Juve in the quarter finals. Only this time don't try and apologise for the Heysel disaster when their b***ard c**t fans decide to turn their backs on it. Just do what we did in 2005 and tw*t them with minimal fuss. Prefarably without a goalkeeping howler this time though. Actually I don't trust our keepers not to have a howler.
That takes us to Barcelona because we've never beaten those cu*ts on our way to winning a European Cup (beat them twice on our way to winning UEFA Cups) so it'd be quite nice to tick that one off the list. However, the one time we did beat them in the European Cup we got to the final and lost, so maybe drawing them wouldn't be a good thing.
So I suppose that leaves us with Roma and that'd be a nice turn out for us. After all we have an affinity with Rome and the European Cup, having won two of our five trophies there. As well as a victory there on our way to winning the 2001 UEFA Cup. But then again, their kit is red. So for the away leg we'd have to wear something other than our usual red and I don't think we'd be allowed to play in our lucky orange kit as it's still too close to Roma's red.
That leaves only Bayern then. Beat them on our way to winning the UEFA Cup in 71. Beat them on our way to winning the European Cup in 81. Beat them to win the Super Cup in 2001. So three European competitions and every time we've beaten Bayern in any of them, we've won it. Shame all of the years that we did beat them ended in a 1 and this is 2018. So maybe we'll give it three years until we beat Bayern in another European competition.
That's the lot isn't it?
Nah, there's those cu*ts Real Madrid. The cu*ts who gave us eight million plus Antonio Nunez for Michael Owen. If you're gonna rob us of one of the best forwards in the world, don't rub salt in the wounds by giving us Nunez as part of the deal. The cu*ts who robbed Steve McManaman off us for free. The cu*ts who humiliated us the last time we played them in Europe (as well as us humiliating ourselves in all honesty).
So yeah, Madrid. We owe them a good F***ing.
It'll be a sell out for both legs. They're already through. We don't owe them any apologies (other than maybe sending Nuri Sahin back there earlier than we'd agreed). We've got previous of them beating them, both in a final and in the earlier knockout stages. We can wear whatever F***ing kit we want (except that green and white thing which is a F***ing relief). And the year doesn't have to end in a 1 for us to beat them and win a European trophy.
Real Madrid, job done.
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