Pegguy Arphexhad - for no real reason other than the 2000/01 season where he played all of two games in the League Cup. 2-1 against Chelsea when Heskey got sent off in the last minute of extra time. And the 8-0 hammering of Stoke at the arl Britannia Stadium. He's also got to be one of the few players who has a 100% win record. Six games, six wins. Maybe it's unfair to class somebody with that sort of record as average.
Vegard Heggem - right backs have always been a firm favourite of mine and I can't really explain why. But for the past nearly 30 years that I've been watching this club, I don't think we've had too many "average" right backs. More solid than spectacular maybe but certainly not average. Then there's good ol' Vegard. We used to have a line of Norwegians coming over on a regular basis and the only one who above average, in my opinion, was Stig. But despite him being, what I consider, average I always like Vegard. He used to go on those mazey runs that would now be considered "an attacking full back". Scored three goals as well, including in both 3-1 wins over Middlesbrough in 98-99 which gives him extra brownie points for me as I despise that club.
Zak Whitbread - this name might not be too familiar with some as Zak didn't really make any sort of impact with the club. But I remember his debut against Millwall in the League Cup back in 04/05 and I thought he was outstanding that game. It was the game where the Millwall fans decided to rip the seats out of the Den and sing their anti-Hillsborough songs. Ironically, that's where we sold him to. But onto Zak, the player, he just looked like he had it all for a centre half and I don't really remember why it never materialised for him here. People were comparing him to Sami Hyypia when he was in the youth side.
Ragnar Klavan - I really wanted to put Kolo Toure here but I just can't forgive him for that suicidal pass against West Brom to Victor F***ing Anichebe of all people in our run in for the 13/14 League Title. Go on, someone quote this with the reply of Kolo sticking his head round the shower curtain saying sorry. And because of that, I've gone for big Ragnar. He was F***ing useless the poor sod at anything that involved the ball at his feet. But as a no-nonsense, hard-hitting, big b***ard he was F***ing sound. I'd like our current centre halves to have a bit more of his uncompromising attitude at times.
Jon Flanagan - yes I know I can't like him any more because he belted his bird in town. But I don't know if we're talking about people we like as people or footballers that we liked (notice the past tense) as footballers. And as a footballer, I loved the way Flanno went about his business because it's the exact same way I would of if I was ever lucky enough to play for the club I love. One hundred percent commitment with less than a quarter of that in actual ability. Flying into every tackle, giving your all and a genuine love for the club.
Nick Barmby - maybe unfair to call him "average" but in my eyes he was. The fact he played for so many clubs without ever nailing down one shows he was good but not quite good enough. But I still liked Nick, especially for an ex-Bitter. He also scored against them which gives him extra brownie points. I could of thrown Xavier in for the same reason, except I wouldn't put him anywhere near average. A million miles below maybe.
Momo Sissoko - I know some won't consider him average but let's be honest in the grand scheme of things, he was. But I F***ing loved that mad b***ard. He was like the kid in school who never grew up. He'd just chase the ball until he got it back. I just honestly loved watching how much playing meant to him. He was sh*t with the ball at his feet but without it, you couldn't ask for a better player. The player we bought in 2005 would excel in this team right now.
Jay Spearing - it's no secret on this forum that I always had a soft spot for little Jay. I never felt he ever truly let us down whenever he played. And if Kenny had remained manager than I think Jay would of made close to 200 games for the club. But he was very limited in his ability. He could pick a pass and get stuck in but had very little else to his game unfortunately. His first thought was always forward though, which can't be said for a lot of our central midfielders over the past two decades.
John Arne Riise - this is probably the harshest to put in this side but it was also the hardest position for me to pick due to the fact that in my lifetime, I've either thought our left wingers to be F***ing boss or F***ing useless. I could easily name players I thought were average who played that position but I didn't like any of them - Leonhardsen, Kennedy, Riera, Babel, Cole, Jovanovich - take your pick. Or I could easily name players who played there who I did like but they weren't average such as Barnes, Berger, McManaman, Salah. So I've had to plump for Riise. Who, other than a good left foot shot, didn't have much else going for him. Despite his lack of pace, he thought he could outrun every right back by knocking it past him and chasing after it - ultimately failing to catch it. Weren't great defensively or offensively. For me he was probably just above average but the closest to average that I liked. Because I did always have a soft spot for him. When you score the quality goals he did against some of the sides he did then it makes you very likeable in my eyes.
Karl-Heniz Riedle - again this might be unfair to call Reidle average. He played over 40 games for Germany, so that's not bad for somebody who was "average" but I think by the time he arrived at Anfield he was starting to dwindle down and heading towards the average standard. He still had glimpses of his glory days but they were too sporadic to put him above the average category for me. But I still F***ing loved him as a player. He was like Jari Litmanen when he arrived a few years later. That experienced head who helped the younger players advance their own careers. So selfless. His aim was to always help the club win rather than help himself. Chipped in with a few goals while he was here to. Made almost as many appearances from the bench as he did from the start.
David N'Gog - now this player is probably well below the average bar and he's very lucky to be getting mentioned alongside the likes of Riedle, Riise and Momo. But I did always like him as a player, providing he stayed in the box. I always felt he had a goal in him but anywhere else on the pitch he was F***ing useless. But that goal against United puts him fondly in the minds of Liverpool fans as well as a belter against Arsenal on the opening day of the 10-11 season. I dunno, I just liked him.
Arphexhad
Heggem Whitbread Klavan Flanagan
Barmby Sissoko Spearing Riise
Riedle N'gog
