The mental health thread

After reading about the discussion on KopiteLuke in the ‘whatever happened to’ thread, it touched a nerve for me on mental health having gone through my own struggles last year and thought it would be good to have a thread where anyone can come in and post what they might be struggling with to just be able to talk about it on a forum where you are unlikely to ever meet the person in ‘real life’.

I’d had a complete breakdown at the start of last year, where I started hallucinating, thought the world was out to get me and found myself wandering the streets and got led around the city into some dodgy areas swiping my bank card for over £1000 and my cell phone robbed, along with my car keys etc. The worst wore off but for months after I wasn’t the same and was fearful of another breakdown happening and had a few panic attack’s, once at work and another time just again out and about.  I remember driving my car like a lunatic thinking I was being followed and am so grateful I didn’t have an accident.

Thankfully (touch wood) I can now deal with anything like that in a much better manner and spot the signs, but it was triggered by suppressing a lot of emotions and unresolved issues that I was refusing to deal with and ever since I’ve become a lot more mindful of taking care of my own mental state and learning what works for me and what doesn’t. Mostly it came back to actually expressing my emotions in a healthy manner, rather than trying to live up to an ‘image’ and starting to acknowledge my own flaws and learning to let my emotion pass rather than reacting to it, although the specific issues went unresolved for years and years.

Much more to it than that, but in hindsight, before my breakdown I was really not healthy and since I’ve worked through it I can honestly say I’ve never been happier and appreciate things a lot more than I ever did in the past. It was a real wake up call for me the breakdown and was the best thing that could have happened to me in the end. Been seeing a therapist just once a month since and the results are amazing. I’ve definitely become more of a hippy in a way

No obligation to post, but like I say, it’s important I think to have a space where you can talk freely about any struggles you might be going through.

After reading about the discussion on KopiteLuke in the ‘whatever happened to’ thread, it touched a nerve for me on mental health having gone through my own struggles last year and thought it would be good to have a thread where anyone can come in and post what they might be struggling with to just be able to talk about it on a forum where you are unlikely to ever meet the person in ‘real life’.

I’d had a complete breakdown at the start of last year, where I started hallucinating, thought the world was out to get me and found myself wandering the streets and got led around the city into some dodgy areas swiping my bank card for over £1000 and my cell phone robbed, along with my car keys etc. The worst wore off but for months after I wasn’t the same and was fearful of another breakdown happening and had a few panic attack’s, once at work and another time just again out and about.  I remember driving my car like a lunatic thinking I was being followed and am so grateful I didn’t have an accident.

Thankfully it (touch wood) I can now deal with anything like that in a much better manner and spot the signs, but it was triggered by suppressing a lot of emotions and unresolved issues that I was refusing to deal with and ever since I’ve become a lot more mindful of taking care of my own mental state and learning what works for me and what doesn’t. Mostly it came back to actually expressing my emotions in a healthy manner, rather than trying to live up to an ‘image’ and starting to acknowledge my own flaws and learning to let my emotion pass rather than reacting to it, although the specific issues went unresolved for years and years.

Much more to it than that, but in hindsight, before my breakdown I was really not healthy and since I’ve worked through it I can honestly say I’ve never been happier and appreciate things a lot more than I ever did in the past. It was a really wake up call for me the breakdown and was the best thing that could have happened to me in the end. Been seeing a therapist just once a month since and the results are amazing. I’ve definitely become more of a hippy in a way

No obligation to post, but like I say, it’s important I think to have a space where you can talk freely about any struggles you might be going through.

Good on you fella - both in your openness and your recovery.

I think we all face a form of mental health crisis at times - I certainly have had periods where I know I have struggled. I think so many people put things down to a bad run or just blame the universe and never really recognise they’re not well.

Great idea for a thread.

Good on you fella - both in your openness and your recovery.

I think we all face a form of mental health crisis at times - I certainly have had periods where I know I have struggled. I think so many people put things down to a bad run or just blame the universe and never really recognise they’re not well.

Great idea for a thread.

Thanks mate. Agreed on just putting things down to a bad run.

My build up was just a series of events and trying to brush them off as if they were nothing for about a year and it all caught up with me eventually. Very thankful that I just lost a bit of cash, it really could have been a lot worse which is what scared me the most as I worked through it.

I think the modern world really makes it hard to admit there is a problem, where you’re expected to have it all and post about it all over social media etc (although that may be more of an issue for my millennial generation).

Mental health has been badly neglected not only by us as individuals  but you could argue the state through the NHS.

With National priorities for CVD prevention, smoking cessation, cancer detection etc.

Of course we as Brits don’t help ourselves with the old stiff upper lip attitude to talking about things which well we should be “strong and manly” about.........

Figures for suicides in thevUK still point to 3/4 of all suicides are by males and the majority of these are through a violent nature, like hanging, jumping off a building whereas women are more likely to have a overdose via tablets or alcohol.

So in essence women are probably likely to call out for help earlier where as for men their depression or anxiety has built up over such a time that the outcome is no longer in doubt in their mind.

My wife’s nephew in Vancouver hung himself last summer with 2 young kids, another one who outwardly seemed so strong and full of himself but only after the event we found out about his marital problems, insecurities and fears of losing his children and with this being his second marriage how would he be seen as this “perfect person” by his family and friends.

The importance of good Mental Health has been ignored for too long....

Mental health has been badly neglected not only by us as individuals  but you could argue the state through the NHS.

With National priorities for CVD prevention, smoking cessation, cancer detection etc.

Of course we as Brits don’t help ourselves with the old stiff upper lip attitude to talking about things which well we should be “strong and manly” about.........

Figures for suicides in thevUK still point to 3/4 of all suicides are by males and the majority of these are through a violent nature, like hanging, jumping off a building whereas women are more likely to have a overdose via tablets or alcohol.

So in essence women are probably likely to call out for help earlier where as for men their depression or anxiety has built up over such a time that the outcome is no longer in doubt in their mind.

My wife’s nephew in Vancouver hung himself last summer with 2 young kids, another one who outwardly seemed so strong and full of himself but only after the event we found out about his marital problems, insecurities and fears of losing his children and with this being his second marriage how would he be seen as this “perfect person” by his family and friends.

The importance of good Mental Health has been ignored for too long....

Spot on. Sorry to hear about your wife’s nephew.

The longer things are left bottled up, the more it appears to be this unresolvable monster, when the reality is likely to not be anywhere near as bad as the convoluted scenario painted in someone’s head. These images and stereotypes that society creates is a major issue, as it creates an ideal to be lived up to, that may not be what a certain individual wants or needs but pursued anyway to satisfy others.

It takes a shift in society’s judgement to make people feel more comfortable to be able to speak openly about anything that may be impacting them and like you say, that needs to be driven at a state level and filter down to all sections of society.

After reading about the discussion on KopiteLuke in the ‘whatever happened to’ thread, it touched a nerve for me on mental health having gone through my own struggles last year and thought it would be good to have a thread where anyone can come in and post what they might be struggling with to just be able to talk about it on a forum where you are unlikely to ever meet the person in ‘real life’.

I’d had a complete breakdown at the start of last year, where I started hallucinating, thought the world was out to get me and found myself wandering the streets and got led around the city into some dodgy areas swiping my bank card for over £1000 and my cell phone robbed, along with my car keys etc. The worst wore off but for months after I wasn’t the same and was fearful of another breakdown happening and had a few panic attack’s, once at work and another time just again out and about.  I remember driving my car like a lunatic thinking I was being followed and am so grateful I didn’t have an accident.

Thankfully it (touch wood) I can now deal with anything like that in a much better manner and spot the signs, but it was triggered by suppressing a lot of emotions and unresolved issues that I was refusing to deal with and ever since I’ve become a lot more mindful of taking care of my own mental state and learning what works for me and what doesn’t. Mostly it came back to actually expressing my emotions in a healthy manner, rather than trying to live up to an ‘image’ and starting to acknowledge my own flaws and learning to let my emotion pass rather than reacting to it, although the specific issues went unresolved for years and years.

Much more to it than that, but in hindsight, before my breakdown I was really not healthy and since I’ve worked through it I can honestly say I’ve never been happier and appreciate things a lot more than I ever did in the past. It was a really wake up call for me the breakdown and was the best thing that could have happened to me in the end. Been seeing a therapist just once a month since and the results are amazing. I’ve definitely become more of a hippy in a way

No obligation to post, but like I say, it’s important I think to have a space where you can talk freely about any struggles you might be going through.

Good to hear mate, as someone who battles on and off it's always good to hear people finding a light in the darkness . Sometimes it's the smallest things that set me off but also the smallest things like a simple pleasure which help me feel good about myself. One day i will pluck up the courage to seek professional help but i have reached the point where i have realised what my priorities in life ara, this has helped me but still there are times i feel overwhelmed by everything and not in control of myself and my thoughts which is pretty scary.

After reading about the discussion on KopiteLuke in the ‘whatever happened to’ thread, it touched a nerve for me on mental health having gone through my own struggles last year and thought it would be good to have a thread where anyone can come in and post what they might be struggling with to just be able to talk about it on a forum where you are unlikely to ever meet the person in ‘real life’.

I’d had a complete breakdown at the start of last year, where I started hallucinating, thought the world was out to get me and found myself wandering the streets and got led around the city into some dodgy areas swiping my bank card for over £1000 and my cell phone robbed, along with my car keys etc. The worst wore off but for months after I wasn’t the same and was fearful of another breakdown happening and had a few panic attack’s, once at work and another time just again out and about.  I remember driving my car like a lunatic thinking I was being followed and am so grateful I didn’t have an accident.

Thankfully it (touch wood) I can now deal with anything like that in a much better manner and spot the signs, but it was triggered by suppressing a lot of emotions and unresolved issues that I was refusing to deal with and ever since I’ve become a lot more mindful of taking care of my own mental state and learning what works for me and what doesn’t. Mostly it came back to actually expressing my emotions in a healthy manner, rather than trying to live up to an ‘image’ and starting to acknowledge my own flaws and learning to let my emotion pass rather than reacting to it, although the specific issues went unresolved for years and years.

Much more to it than that, but in hindsight, before my breakdown I was really not healthy and since I’ve worked through it I can honestly say I’ve never been happier and appreciate things a lot more than I ever did in the past. It was a really wake up call for me the breakdown and was the best thing that could have happened to me in the end. Been seeing a therapist just once a month since and the results are amazing. I’ve definitely become more of a hippy in a way

No obligation to post, but like I say, it’s important I think to have a space where you can talk freely about any struggles you might be going through.

Glad to hear you have been able to conquer the difficulties you were having and have been able to learn from it all.

Not sure how everyone else is but I think it is a great idea to confide in others in regards to things like this, for me personally it makes me feel like i have had a weight lifted of my shoulders. I go through periods where I feel down and I can't put my finger on why but I just don't feel like talking to anyone at the time or doing anything but after when I share that experience with others and talk about it I feel better. Recently, I have been a lot better and being able to look back on the lows and realize you know what things are good right now is great.

I think experiencing such lows myself helps me advise friends better when they experience such issues, I have two close friends who suffer from depression and talking to them about everything and creating a dialogue about how they feel is what really hits home and helps them feel better I think.

I personally love the idea of this thread and think it could do some real good for those who may not have previously wanted to share their 'issues' but sharing it with others works for me and if there is anything I can do to help anyone feel free to shoot me a PM.

I'm glad some are coming out after having some tough times.

Slowly emerging from one myself. Found myself in a real dark place a few weeks ago. I'd been handing out food to the homeless in my city centre, I'd been depressed for weeks, but my public face isn't always the way I'm feeling.

On the way home, as I stood on the train platform, I contemplated jumping.

It's draining though, knowing you're ill, but pretending everything is fine, smiling laughing and joking around at work, but I completely withdrew from my family, I can't fake it front of them.

I'm feeling better, but my sleeping is still a mess, I'm wiped out emotionally. It's damaged my progress from my weight loss, I've not had the energy to exercise.

Into week 5 of my antidepressants, they are starting to help, the weather, though not today, being brighter, helped my mood, but I've ruined more than one relationship on this period, including one with a woman I'm still very much in love with, and I can't blame her, can't, in truth, blame myself, but it sucks.

I'm glad some are coming out after having some tough times.

Slowly emerging from one myself. Found myself in a real dark place a few weeks ago. I'd been handing out food to the homeless in my city centre, I'd been depressed for weeks, but my public face isn't always the way I'm feeling.

On the way home, as I stood on the train platform, I contemplated jumping.

It's draining though, knowing you're ill, but pretending everything is fine, smiling laughing and joking around at work, but I completely withdrew from my family, I can't fake it front of them.

I'm feeling better, but my sleeping is still a mess, I'm wiped out emotionally. It's damaged my progress from my weight loss, I've not had the energy to exercise.

Into week 5 of my antidepressants, they are starting to help, the weather, though not today, being brighter, helped my mood, but I've ruined more than one relationship on this period, including one with a woman I'm still very much in love with, and I can't blame her, can't, in truth, blame myself, but it sucks.

Good on you mate for being open. You can’t blame anyone, it’s just the way your mind has interpreted something I guess. I remember something as a teenager where I’d had this big argument with my dad and I went off to my room and was googling how to kill myself and ended up on the samaritans website wanting to phone them but couldn’t bring myself to. Should have been a warning sign for me but I ignored it and didn’t deal with the underlying issues until my breakdown, which was over 10 years later. Crazy how you can be on a slippery slope and not even realize.

I know what you mean about maintaining the smiles and jokes etc whilst feeling wiped emotionally underneath. I had started seeing my therapist in sessions before work and a lot of stuff came up from my childhood/teenage years that I never saw coming and I’d burst into tears and then be off to work still rocking and dwelling on the topic. It’s hard.

I shifted a few things around my schedule to find time in the mornings after to go for a short walk in nature and ideally find a body of water to look out over for about 15 minutes as a form of meditation almost which helped me massively.

Glad to hear you’re emerging buddy and I’m sure the people who care for you will be there on the other side once you’re ready to reconnect.

Good to hear mate, as someone who battles on and off it's always good to hear people finding a light in the darkness . Sometimes it's the smallest things that set me off but also the smallest things like a simple pleasure which help me feel good about myself. One day i will pluck up the courage to seek professional help but i have reached the point where i have realised what my priorities in life ara, this has helped me but still there are times i feel overwhelmed by everything and not in control of myself and my thoughts which is pretty scary.

Good on you mate. The professional help really helped me but I had to chop and change a few times to get it right. My first therapist I found got to a lot of issues that I wasn’t even aware of and I took a break of about 3 months in the end, as I didn’t actually enjoy the dynamic between us and felt quite judged at times.

When I started again I actually decided to go with a new therapist because I didn’t want to go back into that environment with someone where I’d had a lot of anger and went completely fresh to a new therapist with the intention of going in and being on the front foot and explaining from my perspective. Really helped me and probably the best thing I did.

If you’ve got to a place though where you now your priorities then that’s a great place and foundation to work from.

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's F***ing hard man. And I'm really F***ing struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this F***ing league it's going to push me over the edge 

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's f**king hard man. And I'm really f**king struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this f**king league it's going to push me over the edge 

Sorry to hear all that pal I don’t know you from a bar of soap but know from your views on the reds and football your a sound lad.

Keep your chin up the only way is up time will heal it as proved already with your old man you need to find the strength to keep going mate step by step.

YNWA!

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's F***ing hard man. And I'm really F***ing struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this F***ing league it's going to push me over the edge 

Sorry to hear that mate , they say that in your darkest times you find out what your really made of , go stay with your family mate , but above all keep talking , the pain although immense at this time will fade , speaking as one who has had a torrid year especially this past six months , you have to talk just keeping it inside no matter how strong we think we are only escalates the problem , have some time with your sister try and clear the mind a bit  it’s not easy but being with people who care about you is a great start
All the best fella

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's F***ing hard man. And I'm really F***ing struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this F***ing league it's going to push me over the edge 

Sorry to hear your troubles pal, unfortunately (or fortunately) I can't relate to your troubles, however with my own experiences over the years battling with debt, gambling, drink and drugs, I can assure you the best thing for you is to talk. Don't bottle it up.

And one thing you soon realise when you're having problems is who your real friends are.

Growing up I would've classed every c**t as my friend because I would've sat out and partied with them every weekend for days, but when the sh*t hits the fan they're nowhere to be seen.

My circle is very small now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's f**king hard man. And I'm really f**king struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this f**king league it's going to push me over the edge 

I know we don’t see eye to eye at times on the Reds fella but I hope we can all relate to a fellow human’s struggles.

There’s always a path out of strife - no matter how black it may feel. A couple rolls of the dice and luck / life changes in a flash.

You’ve taken the biggest step of all by accepting you’re struggling and being brave enough to ask for help.

My thoughts and good wishes to you and your loved ones.

You’ve got this. Just hang in there and it will get better.

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's f**king hard man. And I'm really f**king struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this f**king league it's going to push me over the edge 

That’s tough buddy I really feel for you.
If you are having any thoughts like standing in front of railway lines please go and seek some advice from professionals.

All the best and just kept thinking of your little boy when things seem a bit dark.

more than happy to chat mate and you can vent your spleen and get things off your chest and it will feel good for a while but you need help from someone who actually understands what your going through and can help you find a way back to where you want to be.
Us old farts will have all had struggles some greater than others and we know you can get through them and come out and find a life worth living.
Being around people who care about you is a great start and laying off the booze just for a short while will help.
Don't be a stranger come on the forum and slag us all off if it helps just don't bottle it up.

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's f**king hard man. And I'm really f**king struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this f**king league it's going to push me over the edge 

Hey Kiddo, hold in there..in life we don’t deserve the cards we are dealt.im sure at a point in your life you’ll look back on all these life trials you faced and say I did it, I beat it and I’m better for it..

I’ve been off the forum lately, I lost my father who was my everything & at times thought what’s the point in life if you can’t enjoy life with the ones you love, You have to step back and rebuild..

You’ll get a new business started,you’ll find a deserving partner & you’ll give you kid the best years of your lives, he should be priority number one, he’s you focus, make the world a better place for him & yourself..

After hardship comes ease..

If you want to talk at anytime I’ll PM you my number..Here for you.

YNWA..

Please if you are struggling with anything, seek out help, don't feel like you can just "man up" and work through it. While that may in fact work for some people, not everyone is the same and it won't work in every case. Went through a period of time with my wife where she was having really bad panic attacks, like she thought she was going to die of a heart attack or a stroke. It's unbelievable how the mind can initiate physical symptoms that make it seem all the more real and dangerous. I really had no clue how to handle it, in fact, I was not very good at handling it. I'd end up getting upset with her, telling her she was going to be fine and getting angry when it happened because for over a year, she couldn't hardly let me out of her sight because she was afraid something would happen to her and I wouldn't be there to help (even though I wasn't much help). She sought counseling, which helped a little as far as some ways to try and manage stress, but it didn't really help her to not have these attacks. It was a rough period and it's definitely given me a different perspective on mental health issues and how to help people. My family...we're pretty religious (if that's what you want to call it) and while a lot of people think that's all a load of crap (suppose I can't blame people for thinking that in some ways), that's one of the things that ultimately really helped my wife and me to deal with it. Bottom line, everyone's different and everyone has different beliefs and things they struggle with, etc..., but my hope is that anyone on this forum that's having a tough time would please reach out to someone (especially the folks that have posted in this thread) and take them up on their offer of talking. Don't think you can just power through it and everything will be ok. Get some help and and let others help you take care of yourself.

Great idea for a thread.

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's f**king hard man. And I'm really f**king struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this f**king league it's going to push me over the edge 

So sorry to hear you’re going through that mate. Don’t worry about ‘Manning up’, there’s nothing unmanly about having a tough time and needing to process.

Really hope that things start to look up and you’re able to work through it all and stay close to those people who have really shown up for you, it’s great that you’ve acknowledged it and are getting to talk about it.

YNWA

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's F***ing hard man. And I'm really F***ing struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this F***ing league it's going to push me over the edge 

Sorry to hear that mate and I've missed you on here.

It sounds like you've had a tough run and like you say it's sometimes hard to see a way out but hopefully things will start to look up for you from now.

Haven't been on the forum in a while. Finding my life very tough at the moment. First time I've logged in for a while and I stumble across this thread. 

I ran my own company for years which was a family business. I had a fallout with my father and we haven't spoken in a while now. I left the company and lost my livelihood. Im now in a bit of debt because of it.

I have a son, he's nearly 9. For some strange reason, his mother just can't be civil even though we parted ways shortly after he was born. She is just determined to make my life a misery. Always wants war. Always wants drama. It's an every day occurrence.

We've had the same arrangements in place for his whole life but she's recently drragged me through the courts to try and reduce my time with him and to increase hers. She asked that my time was cut by 50%. This was incredibly tough and stressful.

Then to top everything off, I found out on friday night just gone that my fiancé who I've been with for almost 7 years now (proposed may 2018) has been having an affair with a man she works with for several months. I knew she was upto something and it was making me miserable for ages and then I eventually discovered it all out this weekend.

My partner also has a child the same age. I've been her step dad for seven years. So my family is just completely broken now.

I'm finding it really tough. Very tough. I feel like I've lost my mind. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm just incredibly sad and I can't describe the pain that just won't go away. I can't sleep or eat. I just feel so unwell.

I've been drinking heavily this weekend after discovering what my partner was upto, and then on Saturday morning I went for a walk but only ended up at the local train station. I wanted to throw myself infront of a train and just end it all. I started to write a letter on my phone to my son and I burst out crying. Went through my photos of him and cried more. I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't do it to him.

Since then I put a cry out to Facebook. I asked if anyone was free for a chat because I was really struggling and I needed help.   The responses I got was actually overwhelming. So many people asked to see me and if I was ok.

A couple of mates came and got me and we just sat and talked for ages. It helped.

And that's all I've done every day since. Getting outdoors. Trying to be active. Always with somebody. Always talking to somebody. And it's helping, slowly.

My dad has since been in touch and we hugged it out. He's suggested I go and stay with my sister for a few days who lives down south, which I think is a good idea.

Right now I'm typing this in the spare bedroom of my best friends house. He's looked after me.

I'm trying my best to get through it. To get a grip. To man up. But it's f**king hard man. And I'm really f**king struggling right now.

If Liverpool don't win this f**king league it's going to push me over the edge 

So sorry to hear that mate, i know we have had our differences (mainly through my own stupidity) but at times like this all i can say is that i feel so much for you, believe me when i say i tell myself to man up almost every day. You shouldn't have to 'man' up. As the current buzz phrase says its okay not be okay. It's great that things are looking up with your dad and talking to your friends has helped. We are here for you, i will freely admit to having days where i feel like giving up or just curling up into a ball. My life is stable and is remarkably drama free but still this black dog hangs around. I couldn't possibly imagine what you are going through. You are being incredibly brave,  i hope you get the support you need, we are all here for you. 

My partner suffers from manic depression, guess most people would if they lived with me  ...

But had a friend who I sadly lost touch with, who use to have bad bouts of depression and almost succeeded in topping himself jumping off a roof...

Remember him telling me once that when people use to say to him that if they where braver they would have tried to take thier life he would smile at them and tell them that " it is not the fact of being brave that leads to to trying to take your own life,I have tried. It is that utter feeling of wretchedness and despair that leads you to try and do it" 

I really feel for all here who has suffered from any form of mental illness; and a lot more should be done to help...

Tell people. Talk to someone about how you are feeling, and most importantly don't feel ashamed about it. More people suffer from it than you know

Thank you for this RedWilly, and for sharing this with us