The mental health thread

Been putting off calling the doctor for a while now but going to buy the bullet I think.

Long story short I've been feeling extremely low for ages now. Had a complete breakdown in work about 7 years ago and had to take a month off. Doctor advised combination of depression, work place stress and anxiety. Antidepressants for a good while then gradually came off them.

Got  temporary promotion/secondment at work which wasn't made permanent. I dealt with this, well thought I had, and got on with being back managing my store again. Left ths company last summer as the hours and stress were really difficult to stomach. Been in two jobs since one four months and this one three and I really think I need to get out.

Some of you know I'm a manager in hospitality. Fast Food for ages and now cafes and one aspect that really has affected my mental health is never being able to switch off. WhatsApp messages day in day out, emails on days off, being responsible for staff and all that entails. It's exhausting.

I noticed I get no real joy in work now even when things are going ok. Go to bed early and wake up 3/4am and can't get back to sleep. Edgy when at home and while some days I'm ok others I get no real joy our of the things I like.

Made a joke to my brother the other day that is love a job where I don't have to manage people or a business for someone. Just go in do my work and go home. And I've actually started to look into it. Talked to my wife today and she actually thinks what I'm saying makes sense. I'd rather do 10-15 hours extra a week and being able to switch off than my normal 40 and then constantly be switched on at home.

You might say just switch off and don't worry about work but my mind can't which is the problem. It's the way I'm built. I care too much but now even through I care enough to do the work I don't care enough to keep going.

Hi mate. I suffer alot with MH issues too. Like you I feel low alot of the time. There's plenty of reasons for it. But I think I just suffer badly from depression.

In around 2011 things got bad and I ended up being detained for a period of weeks in a MH unit for my own safety.

I also work in retail. I work at Costco as a floor supervisor and I start work at 4am ... so usually bed around 9.30/10 and up at 3. Finish at 1. I've done this since 2002 and I'm constantly shattered. It works in that I can pick my son up from school at 3.30pm. But like you my personal phone is also a works phone. I'm constantly checking emails, writing emails, worrying about the slightest thing ... anxiety through the roof. Things arnt great at home either. Life feels like one big struggle. Any small amount of time to myself I'd generally too tired and just fall asleep. I don't enjoy work ... nor life. But the money is decent. I keep aiming for the big 25 year bonus ... 3 years away. We have an in company care scheme which we can access. The NHS Councillor scheme  .... you can wait months. Our scheme is immediate. I had 12 sessions with a Councillor after my brother died at the end of 2015. It did help ... I looked forward to the chats.

I feel low most of the time. I'm not a positive person really. I just get through each day. If I didn't have a little boy ... I'd just want to be beamed up I think. Life is hard. Feels like I'm just surviving, existing. Get up, work. Shower. Pick son up. Tea. Go upstairs and be occupied by my phone. Bed and repeat. Hope you are OK mate.

Been putting off calling the doctor for a while now but going to buy the bullet I think.

Long story short I've been feeling extremely low for ages now. Had a complete breakdown in work about 7 years ago and had to take a month off. Doctor advised combination of depression, work place stress and anxiety. Antidepressants for a good while then gradually came off them.

Got  temporary promotion/secondment at work which wasn't made permanent. I dealt with this, well thought I had, and got on with being back managing my store again. Left ths company last summer as the hours and stress were really difficult to stomach. Been in two jobs since one four months and this one three and I really think I need to get out.

Some of you know I'm a manager in hospitality. Fast Food for ages and now cafes and one aspect that really has affected my mental health is never being able to switch off. WhatsApp messages day in day out, emails on days off, being responsible for staff and all that entails. It's exhausting.

I noticed I get no real joy in work now even when things are going ok. Go to bed early and wake up 3/4am and can't get back to sleep. Edgy when at home and while some days I'm ok others I get no real joy our of the things I like.

Made a joke to my brother the other day that is love a job where I don't have to manage people or a business for someone. Just go in do my work and go home. And I've actually started to look into it. Talked to my wife today and she actually thinks what I'm saying makes sense. I'd rather do 10-15 hours extra a week and being able to switch off than my normal 40 and then constantly be switched on at home.

You might say just switch off and don't worry about work but my mind can't which is the problem. It's the way I'm built. I care too much but now even through I care enough to do the work I don't care enough to keep going.

Totally get where you are coming from, reached the point where I didn't enjoy anything,  didn't want to do or go anywhere. Simple decisions because impossible. Still have bad spells but I did some cognitive behavioural therapy which helped enormously.  It's not for everyone and overall I'm in a better place. Hopefully some day soon I will feel confident enough to come off anti depressants. Sometimes you have to take a step back, it's great that you are aware of your triggers. Only last week I almost stormed out of work as I felt I was about to have a panic attack. I had been on the phone to customers and was really getting frustrated.  Luckily the half hour lunch gave me time to do some breathing exercises. Fingers crossed for you.

Hi mate. I suffer alot with MH issues too. Like you I feel low alot of the time. There's plenty of reasons for it. But I think I just suffer badly from depression.

In around 2011 things got bad and I ended up being detained for a period of weeks in a MH unit for my own safety.

I also work in retail. I work at Costco as a floor supervisor and I start work at 4am ... so usually bed around 9.30/10 and up at 3. Finish at 1. I've done this since 2002 and I'm constantly shattered. It works in that I can pick my son up from school at 3.30pm. But like you my personal phone is also a works phone. I'm constantly checking emails, writing emails, worrying about the slightest thing ... anxiety through the roof. Things arnt great at home either. Life feels like one big struggle. Any small amount of time to myself I'd generally too tired and just fall asleep. I don't enjoy work ... nor life. But the money is decent. I keep aiming for the big 25 year bonus ... 3 years away. We have an in company care scheme which we can access. The NHS Councillor scheme  .... you can wait months. Our scheme is immediate. I had 12 sessions with a Councillor after my brother died at the end of 2015. It did help ... I looked forward to the chats.

I feel low most of the time. I'm not a positive person really. I just get through each day. If I didn't have a little boy ... I'd just want to be beamed up I think. Life is hard. Feels like I'm just surviving, existing. Get up, work. Shower. Pick son up. Tea. Go upstairs and be occupied by my phone. Bed and repeat. Hope you are OK mate.

Thanks for sharing Don as maybe like myself you'd never have guessed based on pairing on here as you're always quite upfront and combative.

Really shows we're all human and have vulnerabilities under the surface which is why I think this thread has been great, especially for us guys who traditionally found it difficult to broach these subjects.

Even this month I've put off having the real proper conversation with my wife as I think my role is to support her and get in with my own job.

Hope you're getting there mate

I'm sorry to hear your struggling Si, work is no joke when it starts to affect your home life and causes you stress all the time especially when you can't sleep and your constantly "on it"

A change of career sounds like a plan, a change is as good as a rest as they say and may I suggest, maybe taking up yoga or pilates as a stress relief or any kind of exercise will help.

I know you had a nasty car accident recently, I hope you've fully recovered from that, hopefully things will improve for you, keep smiling and keep strong, we are all here for you, take care.

One of the challengers of modern life is how to grapple with a growing portfolio of responsibilities without worrying ourselves to death. Anxiety has always been a perquisite of adulthood: It rises steeply from school age and into our twenties as we take on more and more adult responsibilities....It then falls steadily over the rest of the course of life as we cope with them....( as I can bear witness to)
Try to make space to reward yourself...for just being here...You're alive and you have the capacity to flourish, for pleasure and satisfaction. Like all people you have been endowed with a sense of sympathy, the ability to like, love, respect help, and show kindness...the gift of mutual benevolence with friends, family and colleagues. There are so many reasons to live....and for a number of people close to you...You are one of those reasons.

Along with others in this little community I wish you well.

My wife struggles with panic and anxiety attacks, the mind can be a terribly powerful thing sometimes. Our faith certainly helps us stay mostly sane to the pressures and absolute sh*t show that life can be at times. I hope you all don’t mind me saying but I believe strongly in the power of prayer and I’ll be praying for all of you that are struggling. I hate to hear about folks that have to fight these battles (often times alone) but I appreciate the openness with which you are able to speak out. I think that’s of paramount importance. We need to eradicate the stigma that men with mental health struggles are somehow weak or not “manly”. Si, Don, FK10 and any others lurking and maybe not willing to share, please keep your head up and know that you are important to others whether you may not always feel or understand it. I know not all are spiritual or religious but I’m not sure what I would do without my faith so if anyone’s ever interested to discuss any of those spiritual type topics, feel free to shoot me a PM. Wish you all the best.

My wife struggles with panic and anxiety attacks, the mind can be a terribly powerful thing sometimes. Our faith certainly helps us stay mostly sane to the pressures and absolute sh*t show that life can be at times. I hope you all don’t mind me saying but I believe strongly in the power of prayer and I’ll be praying for all of you that are struggling. I hate to hear about folks that have to fight these battles (often times alone) but I appreciate the openness with which you are able to speak out. I think that’s of paramount importance. We need to eradicate the stigma that men with mental health struggles are somehow weak or not “manly”. Si, Don, FK10 and any others lurking and maybe not willing to share, please keep your head up and know that you are important to others whether you may not always feel or understand it. I know not all are spiritual or religious but I’m not sure what I would do without my faith so if anyone’s ever interested to discuss any of those spiritual type topics, feel free to shoot me a PM. Wish you all the best.

If your faith is of comfort to you and your family then that is all that matters. No one else has the right to judge you for your core beliefs.
I say this as a lapsed catholic who was never off my knees until my late teens. Its long been known that churchgoers are happier than stay-at-homers, but it's far from certain that a belief in God, creation, heaven or hell have anything to do with it....I say this with no intention to question or insult your faith.
As a committed atheist I subscribe to the observation of George Bernard Shaw: "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more on point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."

I wish you and your family well.

Been putting off calling the doctor for a while now but going to buy the bullet I think.

Long story short I've been feeling extremely low for ages now. Had a complete breakdown in work about 7 years ago and had to take a month off. Doctor advised combination of depression, work place stress and anxiety. Antidepressants for a good while then gradually came off them.

Got  temporary promotion/secondment at work which wasn't made permanent. I dealt with this, well thought I had, and got on with being back managing my store again. Left ths company last summer as the hours and stress were really difficult to stomach. Been in two jobs since one four months and this one three and I really think I need to get out.

Some of you know I'm a manager in hospitality. Fast Food for ages and now cafes and one aspect that really has affected my mental health is never being able to switch off. WhatsApp messages day in day out, emails on days off, being responsible for staff and all that entails. It's exhausting.

I noticed I get no real joy in work now even when things are going ok. Go to bed early and wake up 3/4am and can't get back to sleep. Edgy when at home and while some days I'm ok others I get no real joy our of the things I like.

Made a joke to my brother the other day that is love a job where I don't have to manage people or a business for someone. Just go in do my work and go home. And I've actually started to look into it. Talked to my wife today and she actually thinks what I'm saying makes sense. I'd rather do 10-15 hours extra a week and being able to switch off than my normal 40 and then constantly be switched on at home.

You might say just switch off and don't worry about work but my mind can't which is the problem. It's the way I'm built. I care too much but now even through I care enough to do the work I don't care enough to keep going.

Not a nice feeling Si and it sounds like a career change would help. Join the Civil Service all we do is drink tea and take breaks. 🤣

I've been in it 17 years and not once has my work followed me home. As soon as I'm out the door I don't think about it until I'm back again the next morning. A couple of local recruitment agencies are always looking for staff to join.

Been through the ringer the last while myself. Low mood then became depression and now I've got an ADHD diagnosis to boot.

I'm certainly no expert but as FK said Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helped me along with speaking to a counsellor, so maybe worth a try.

Although I honestly feel the main thing that has helped me is exercise. My mood good so much better when I started back to the gym.

Not a nice feeling Si and it sounds like a career change would help. Join the Civil Service all we do is drink tea and take breaks. 🤣

I've been in it 17 years and not once has my work followed me home. As soon as I'm out the door I don't think about it until I'm back again the next morning. A couple of local recruitment agencies are always looking for staff to join.

Been through the ringer the last while myself. Low mood then became depression and now I've got an ADHD diagnosis to boot.

I'm certainly no expert but as FK said Cognitive Behaviour Therapy helped me along with speaking to a counsellor, so maybe worth a try.

Although I honestly feel the main thing that has helped me is exercise. My mood good so much better when I started back to the gym.

I've been in the civil service on and off for 14 years and yesterday we have McDonald's delivered and I usually have a nap.on the sofa whilst working from home 2 days a week.

I've been in the civil service on and off for 14 years and yesterday we have McDonald's delivered and I usually have a nap.on the sofa whilst working from home 2 days a week.

Ssshhh mate. We're not supposed to tell anyone how easy we get it.

What department you in if you don't mind me asking?

Yeah I forgot to mention the hybrid working is great too. I'm at home 3 days a week but I know folk who are only in the office once a week.

What this thread shows is how much better people are at speaking up and out and how that can help people

The more that speak up the more are helped

For anyone who does need help don’t be afraid and as mentioned cognitive therapy is great method

Ssshhh mate. We're not supposed to tell anyone how easy we get it.

What department you in if you don't mind me asking?

Yeah I forgot to mention the hybrid working is great too. I'm at home 3 days a week but I know folk who are only in the office once a week.

I'm valuation office. We do council tax bandings I do 2 days a week at home and still have flexi

I'm valuation office. We do council tax bandings I do 2 days a week at home and still have flexi

I deal with Universal Credit. Drains you some days seeing cu*ts come in and get as much or more than you in a month for sitting on their hole.

My Flexi has never been as healthy since WFH came in. 🤣

I deal with Universal Credit. Drains you some days seeing cu*ts come in and get as much or more than you in a month for sitting on their hole.

My Flexi has never been as healthy since WFH came in. 🤣

Mine too, just finished my once a week phone shift which is really drawing. A fair few of ours have gone to the dwp

I deal with Universal Credit. Drains you some days seeing cu*ts come in and get as much or more than you in a month for sitting on their hole.

My Flexi has never been as healthy since WFH came in. 🤣

Fckin drained me last week , got soaked all week in work cane home on the Thursday and the cu*ts next door who’ve never done a days work in their lives were outside admiring their new car and showing their friends , made me feel fckin sick tbh , never been jealous of anything anyone else has got but that just drained my soul ,

Fckin drained me last week , got soaked all week in work cane home on the Thursday and the cu*ts next door who’ve never done a days work in their lives were outside admiring their new car and showing their friends , made me feel fckin sick tbh , never been jealous of anything anyone else has got but that just drained my soul ,

It is such a shame these kind of people spoil things for the vast majority of people, who work pay taxes etc. Some times you must think, why should I f**king bother !

It is such a shame these kind of people spoil things for the vast majority of people, who work pay taxes etc. Some times you must think, why should I f**king bother !

Scourge on society, dirty stinking cu*ts to boot .

It is such a shame these kind of people spoil things for the vast majority of people, who work pay taxes etc. Some times you must think, why should I f**king bother !

That’s exactly what happened to me, I was working 40+ hours in a job I hated, affording nothing, missing out on family events, barely seeing my girlfriend, weeks went by where I didn’t see my family who I’m extremely close with… and then I had to watch my neighbours who have never worked in their whole life brag about stuff, one literally telling me he gets £18 worth of fresh fruit and veg each day and throws whatever he doesn’t eat at the end of the day because he doesn’t eat anything over a day old… madness right?

Well I got to the stage I was bitter and angry and I hated it, in school and early 20’s I was always the joker of the group, and I lost that part of me, so I thought F**k this and really downsized my life, got rid of anything that wasn’t a necessity bill wise, learnt to manage with stuff I had and stopped searching for the next new gadget to distract me into thinking I had my life together… once I did that I quit my 40+ hour job and got myself a bog standard part time job in retail, told my manager I don’t want no more than 25 hours and have been doing that since. I also attended 7 CBT therapy sessions which at the time I thought were bullshit but F**k me whatever that soft spoken lady said to me worked a charm! I used to have panic attacks getting a bus or standing in a queue, within those 7 weeks of sessions all that stopped and never came back.

My mental health improved 100x! I now see my family at least twice a week, my relationship with my girlfriend improved drastically and I got my sense of humour back and the ability to laugh at everything, good or bad and I don’t take many things too seriously anymore.

I will never work full time again, sure, money isn’t as plentiful, and I have to save for big purchases, which I kinda like because I appreciate that stuff more when I get it now… but my bills are paid, roof over my head and food in my belly…

There’s also no pressure on me to stay at a job if I’m not happy now, retail roles are quite easy to come by and once I leave I don’t think about work until my next shift…

I really do think the biggest cause of mental health in this country is the work grind, the work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, or 6 days in a lot of cases now… and it’s not right, you have no time to live, and you lose sight of who you are because you just become some automated being living Groundhog Day every day, using the money you earn to buy the new iPhones, consoles, TVs that have been drilled into your head every day…

It’s always a good thing to have places like this to vent in, sometimes speaking to the ones closet can feel a daunting task, because you’re scared of disappointing them, so having a somewhat anonymous thread to let it all out can help you get to that next step talking to the ones you love.

Wishing you all the best and I truly hope we hall find the happiness we are seeking.

Scourge on society, dirty stinking cu*ts to boot .

That’s exactly what happened to me, I was working 40+ hours in a job I hated, affording nothing, missing out on family events, barely seeing my girlfriend, weeks went by where I didn’t see my family who I’m extremely close with… and then I had to watch my neighbours who have never worked in their whole life brag about stuff, one literally telling me he gets £18 worth of fresh fruit and veg each day and throws whatever he doesn’t eat at the end of the day because he doesn’t eat anything over a day old… madness right?

Well I got to the stage I was bitter and angry and I hated it, in school and early 20’s I was always the joker of the group, and I lost that part of me, so I thought F**k this and really downsized my life, got rid of anything that wasn’t a necessity bill wise, learnt to manage with stuff I had and stopped searching for the next new gadget to distract me into thinking I had my life together… once I did that I quit my 40+ hour job and got myself a bog standard part time job in retail, told my manager I don’t want no more than 25 hours and have been doing that since. I also attended 7 CBT therapy sessions which at the time I thought were bullshit but F**k me whatever that soft spoken lady said to me worked a charm! I used to have panic attacks getting a bus or standing in a queue, within those 7 weeks of sessions all that stopped and never came back.

My mental health improved 100x! I now see my family at least twice a week, my relationship with my girlfriend improved drastically and I got my sense of humour back and the ability to laugh at everything, good or bad and I don’t take many things too seriously anymore.

I will never work full time again, sure, money isn’t as plentiful, and I have to save for big purchases, which I kinda like because I appreciate that stuff more when I get it now… but my bills are paid, roof over my head and food in my belly…

There’s also no pressure on me to stay at a job if I’m not happy now, retail roles are quite easy to come by and once I leave I don’t think about work until my next shift…

I really do think the biggest cause of mental health in this country is the work grind, the work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, or 6 days in a lot of cases now… and it’s not right, you have no time to live, and you lose sight of who you are because you just become some automated being living Groundhog Day every day, using the money you earn to buy the new iPhones, consoles, TVs that have been drilled into your head every day…

It’s always a good thing to have places like this to vent in, sometimes speaking to the ones closet can feel a daunting task, because you’re scared of disappointing them, so having a somewhat anonymous thread to let it all out can help you get to that next step talking to the ones you love.

Wishing you all the best and I truly hope we hall find the happiness we are seeking.

F**K them all and enjoy life to the full, is all I can say to both posters.

Fckin drained me last week , got soaked all week in work cane home on the Thursday and the cu*ts next door who’ve never done a days work in their lives were outside admiring their new car and showing their friends , made me feel fckin sick tbh , never been jealous of anything anyone else has got but that just drained my soul ,

Probably buried in debt up to their eyeballs mate, it will likely come back to haunt them someday but know what you mean. Hard to believe sometimes how people can afford their lifestyles with little effort.

Fckin drained me last week , got soaked all week in work cane home on the Thursday and the cu*ts next door who’ve never done a days work in their lives were outside admiring their new car and showing their friends , made me feel fckin sick tbh , never been jealous of anything anyone else has got but that just drained my soul ,

See it everyday mate, soul destroying while you're sitting there working 5 days a week seeing people get their house paid and sometimes near 2 grand a month on top. Makes you scratch the head and think

So had a bit of a teary moment with my boss the other day. Last thing I wanted but she must have sensed things weren't quite right

Long story short had a good meeting with her and the Business owner after my planned review and bit of a weight has been lifted as they have been very supportive.

Told them I can't guarantee I won't need time off but spoke with GP today and going back in the meds for now and will see how that helps.

So had a bit of a teary moment with my boss the other day. Last thing I wanted but she must have sensed things weren't quite right

Long story short had a good meeting with her and the Business owner after my planned review and bit of a weight has been lifted as they have been very supportive.

Told them I can't guarantee I won't need time off but spoke with GP today and going back in the meds for now and will see how that helps.

How are you doing now? I hope things are improving for you mate.you

I need to do something. I dont want to go back on tablets but i feel totally ... lost. Almost empty inside.

My 8 year old son is all that keeps me going. He makes me proud. He makes me smile. But i basically spend most days in work and then the rest of the day/night in the spare room ... in silence. Thats my existence. I feel like there is just nothing left. No energy. No fight. No zest for life. Its been mentally and emotionally beaten out of me over the years. Now i just feel beaten down into silence. Its easier to just stay silent. Trying to get from one day to the next. I find it hard to be happy about anything. I feel sad all the time. It is a deep level of depression. I understand that much. Its just all a battle. A battle thats neverending but yet feels like i cant win. I feel like im on the verge of a real breakdown now. Life is a struggle isnt it.

Tomorrow is another day. Just got to keep going. For my son, and my parents who worry about me all the time. I pretty much hide it from them. But my son, he is starting to notice. He just comes in , hugs me and tells me he loves me. Asks me to tuck him in. Thats the best parts of my day.