The mental health thread

Yeah. Just come back after a heartbreaking day at the hospital. Apparently my dad is in the delirium stage after a stroke.imagining seeing things and generally confused and making no sense. Coming home to an empty house full of despair, worried about life, money everything,  my work manager asking indirectly how soon i would be back (missed one day).feel like i have failed as a person, son etc. Hadn't been feeling too great anyway. Won't keep on and bore everyone

nah bollox to that mate the fact you feel like this means your a decent human being and a caring Son. The rest will take care of itself concentrate on your dad and you watch the Reds for a bit of diversion. You feel free to bore the sh*t out of people we have all had bad days weeks months even years your not alone mate

Cheers lads. On the sports/hobbies, I’d actually started back at the gym last week before this happened so going to try keep that up. Do need to try find a proper hobby though, it’s always revolves around sports for me but feel a bit over that now and would like to try something new.

Done therapy before as well and found it really useful but felt it ran its course largely as I got to a lot of underlying issues. This stuff more creeps up on me and by time I realize I’m already pretty far down the rabbit hole. Think Friday is probably the 3rd or 4th time since my only ‘proper’ breakdown where I’ve had these delusions happen.

Feeling a bit unsure about how to approach it all to be honest but feeling a little better today because I think I’m finally at a point where I need to take active steps. Will see how next few weeks go and take it from there

Keep going mate, and you’ll overcome it.

When I hit hard times, I started going to karate with my daughter which started my road to recovery and focused my mind. Was interesting and took us around the country for various tournaments etc. Just an idea ;-)

Thought I would bump this thread.  Need a place for us all to share.

Seems more important than ever to feel able to express feelings, thought and fears. Christmas is a difficult period for many as it is and throw n a pandemic as well.

Thought I would bump this thread.  Need a place for us all to share.

We all need a space mate to escape the sh*t in our lives, none more so than yourself Skip, myself and I'm sure other Red Brethren are in awe of what you have had to deal with over the years,

I have my own issues too, mainly bouts of depression and not getting the help I need, or it's not happening quickly enough,  for example I've been waiting to  start a CBT course to mend my head but it's taking too long, so much for the mental health bollocks that's supposed to help folk, where the f**k is mine ?

I've moved up to Fort William in the highlands for peace and quiet, been here a week now and it's helping already,  just going out for walks with the dog is therapeutic and has eased the stress levels for sure.

So if possible a change of scenery and/or routine definitely helps if you have similar issues to that of mine,

I would appreciate if anyone on these boards has experienced CBT and if they could pass on info, tips or advice that could help me or anyone else, like most folk we just get on with it and kind of brush our worries to one side and perhaps are to proud to speak of their problems, like I was, but it does help to talk, even though it's not face to face, so let's help each other bro's and keep this thread open.


                                    YNWA

It's hard to see someone you care about diminish as a person, even harder as I am not sure if I can cope with it

It's hard to see someone you care about diminish as a person, even harder as I am not sure if I can cope with it

I understand where your coming from & what your going through mate..

Keep fighting.

Dad in hospital after 3 falls in 4 days. Hasn't been right for about 3 or 4 weeks with hallucinations and general confusion,  possibly an infection on top of his Parkinson's.  Feel an absolute failure.

Dad in hospital after 3 falls in 4 days. Hasn't been right for about 3 or 4 weeks with hallucinations and general confusion,  possibly an infection on top of his Parkinson's.  Feel an absolute failure.

Buddy it’s not you, you can’t blame yourself for dads illness, just do the best you can & if your struggling you can get home support just to take the pressure off you.

Does dad suffer from dementia..?

Buddy it’s not you, you can’t blame yourself for dads illness, just do the best you can & if your struggling you can get home support just to take the pressure off you.

Does dad suffer from dementia..?

Nurse and doc reckoned most common cause is an infection on top of Parkinson's.had a urine sample taken last week. On antibiotics for a few days but seemed to getting more confused and agitated. Was going to call 111 as was getting really worried about him. He wasn't sleeping well at all and kept waking me up. Not allowed out at the moment and have to wait to call hospital . I am concerned about his mental prowess and the hurt from the death of my mum is still very fresh.

Nurse and doc reckoned most common cause is an infection on top of Parkinson's.had a urine sample taken last week. On antibiotics for a few days but seemed to getting more confused and agitated. Was going to call 111 as was getting really worried about him. He wasn't sleeping well at all and kept waking me up. Not allowed out at the moment and have to wait to call hospital . I am concerned about his mental prowess and the hurt from the death of my mum is still very fresh.

Same symptoms my dad had, let the antibiotics wash out the infection & you will see him get better, it’s advisable to see if you can find dad some sort of head protection to avoid any further serious injury...

Keep an eye on dads sugar & potassium levels too if possible..

Dad in hospital after 3 falls in 4 days. Hasn't been right for about 3 or 4 weeks with hallucinations and general confusion,  possibly an infection on top of his Parkinson's.  Feel an absolute failure.

Why ?

Shabs is right .

This is not in your control.

Its normal to feel guilt . Everyone goes through it .

You cant help anyone if you are not doing self care yourself.

In a different situation ....many moons ago we had to take the hard choice to place a relative in a care home. It was so difficult. The guilt was overpowering yet it was the best thing for all concerned. In that situation one had dementia and her partner had Parkinsons.


Be kind to yourself and realise what you can and cant control.

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late. The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late. The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

You need support in taking care of dad, your no good to him if your going to get ill yourself... I know it’s hard but believe me the strength to continue is within us all, we all have a survival mode switch in us the flicks when we think we can’t cope.. your stronger that you think you are...

You are the parent now, as our parents become older & more dependent on us we take on the role they had bringing us up... you just have to accept that dad is not the man he was, in his & our minds they are but the body starts to give, the structure weakens after time..

You have to build your mental strength buddy, I know the battle ,it’s the battle that in reality we are not in control of the inevitable & when you arrive at that bridge it’s a tough walk but one walked by many before us & those who will come after us...

Make dad as comfortable as you can, be patient with yourself, to pressure yourself into thinking your doing something wrong or your inadequate...

Your father is a fortunate man who has a son that takes care of him on a daily basis, your parents should be proud for raising such a son..

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late.
The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

You need to accept the things you can never change re Mum. 
How many people say ... "If Only "?
Everyone does .

Many of us are going down rabbit holes at the moment.
The pandemic has thrown everyone out of their established way of life (existence) and unless we adapt and change to those circumstances we are going to self destruct and make ourselves extinct like a dinosaur.

You must look after yourself first or you will go under and then you will be f**k all use to yourself ...or your Dad.

You must have heard the question about who uses the oxygen mask on a plane. You or your child.?

Try to ensure your spiritual ,mental and physical health are OK.

I said spiritual ... not religous.  Live in the now.  Not the past nor the future. The now.

Eat properly, sleep well and don't f**k your mind or body up with addictions to "escape".

If you need help reach out for it.  Come out of the rabbit hole... all you will find is madness down there.

If any of this helps then PM me if you want.

Broken hip and could have operation today, should mean he will get a fair bit of use of leg back. Look like he has a chest infection and is have antibiotics administered intravenously but is more settled now after not getting his Parkinson's medication last night. Saw neighbour who asked me How he was and then said 'oh if anything happens you can't carry on living there as it's his house'' Christ give us a break. Been a few hours. Absolutely shattered and feeling a bit dizzy and shaky

Broken hip and could have operation today, should mean he will get a fair bit of use of leg back. Look like he has a chest infection and is have antibiotics administered intravenously but is more settled now after not getting his Parkinson's medication last night. Saw neighbour who asked me How he was and then said 'oh if anything happens you can't carry on living there as it's his house'' Christ give us a break. Been a few hours. Absolutely shattered and feeling a bit dizzy and shaky

Eat and keep your blood sugar level right.  Have a nap   When you start feeling overwhelmed start deep breathing. In 3. Out 3.   Focus in the moment.  Hand it over to whatever higher power you may have.
Remember what is in your control and importantly what is not.  It'll be OK

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late. The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

Remember to try and take care of yourself, in what obviously is a very difficult time for you and your dad.

Broken hip and could have operation today, should mean he will get a fair bit of use of leg back. Look like he has a chest infection and is have antibiotics administered intravenously but is more settled now after not getting his Parkinson's medication last night. Saw neighbour who asked me How he was and then said 'oh if anything happens you can't carry on living there as it's his house'' Christ give us a break. Been a few hours. Absolutely shattered and feeling a bit dizzy and shaky

Just to add what MIRO said... take it easy with yourself.. get some food into your system & warm liquids & most importantly REST..

As for your neighbour.. tell him him to go f**k himself..

Thanks so much, means a lot. Dreading telling work, they might tell.me to take time off, would rather work atm even if it working from home

Thanks so much, means a lot. Dreading telling work, they might tell.me to take time off, would rather work atm even if it working from home

Stay strong FK10

Currently in hospital,  phone rang at 3, seems it's a matter of time. Just can't get my head around this

Currently in hospital,  phone rang at 3, seems it's a matter of time. Just can't get my head around this

Again keep strong pal. PM if you ever want a chat.