The mental health thread

It's hard to see someone you care about diminish as a person, even harder as I am not sure if I can cope with it

I understand where your coming from & what your going through mate..

Keep fighting.

Dad in hospital after 3 falls in 4 days. Hasn't been right for about 3 or 4 weeks with hallucinations and general confusion,  possibly an infection on top of his Parkinson's.  Feel an absolute failure.

Dad in hospital after 3 falls in 4 days. Hasn't been right for about 3 or 4 weeks with hallucinations and general confusion,  possibly an infection on top of his Parkinson's.  Feel an absolute failure.

Buddy it’s not you, you can’t blame yourself for dads illness, just do the best you can & if your struggling you can get home support just to take the pressure off you.

Does dad suffer from dementia..?

Buddy it’s not you, you can’t blame yourself for dads illness, just do the best you can & if your struggling you can get home support just to take the pressure off you.

Does dad suffer from dementia..?

Nurse and doc reckoned most common cause is an infection on top of Parkinson's.had a urine sample taken last week. On antibiotics for a few days but seemed to getting more confused and agitated. Was going to call 111 as was getting really worried about him. He wasn't sleeping well at all and kept waking me up. Not allowed out at the moment and have to wait to call hospital . I am concerned about his mental prowess and the hurt from the death of my mum is still very fresh.

Nurse and doc reckoned most common cause is an infection on top of Parkinson's.had a urine sample taken last week. On antibiotics for a few days but seemed to getting more confused and agitated. Was going to call 111 as was getting really worried about him. He wasn't sleeping well at all and kept waking me up. Not allowed out at the moment and have to wait to call hospital . I am concerned about his mental prowess and the hurt from the death of my mum is still very fresh.

Same symptoms my dad had, let the antibiotics wash out the infection & you will see him get better, it’s advisable to see if you can find dad some sort of head protection to avoid any further serious injury...

Keep an eye on dads sugar & potassium levels too if possible..

Dad in hospital after 3 falls in 4 days. Hasn't been right for about 3 or 4 weeks with hallucinations and general confusion,  possibly an infection on top of his Parkinson's.  Feel an absolute failure.

Why ?

Shabs is right .

This is not in your control.

Its normal to feel guilt . Everyone goes through it .

You cant help anyone if you are not doing self care yourself.

In a different situation ....many moons ago we had to take the hard choice to place a relative in a care home. It was so difficult. The guilt was overpowering yet it was the best thing for all concerned. In that situation one had dementia and her partner had Parkinsons.


Be kind to yourself and realise what you can and cant control.

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late. The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late. The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

You need support in taking care of dad, your no good to him if your going to get ill yourself... I know it’s hard but believe me the strength to continue is within us all, we all have a survival mode switch in us the flicks when we think we can’t cope.. your stronger that you think you are...

You are the parent now, as our parents become older & more dependent on us we take on the role they had bringing us up... you just have to accept that dad is not the man he was, in his & our minds they are but the body starts to give, the structure weakens after time..

You have to build your mental strength buddy, I know the battle ,it’s the battle that in reality we are not in control of the inevitable & when you arrive at that bridge it’s a tough walk but one walked by many before us & those who will come after us...

Make dad as comfortable as you can, be patient with yourself, to pressure yourself into thinking your doing something wrong or your inadequate...

Your father is a fortunate man who has a son that takes care of him on a daily basis, your parents should be proud for raising such a son..

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late.
The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

You need to accept the things you can never change re Mum. 
How many people say ... "If Only "?
Everyone does .

Many of us are going down rabbit holes at the moment.
The pandemic has thrown everyone out of their established way of life (existence) and unless we adapt and change to those circumstances we are going to self destruct and make ourselves extinct like a dinosaur.

You must look after yourself first or you will go under and then you will be f**k all use to yourself ...or your Dad.

You must have heard the question about who uses the oxygen mask on a plane. You or your child.?

Try to ensure your spiritual ,mental and physical health are OK.

I said spiritual ... not religous.  Live in the now.  Not the past nor the future. The now.

Eat properly, sleep well and don't f**k your mind or body up with addictions to "escape".

If you need help reach out for it.  Come out of the rabbit hole... all you will find is madness down there.

If any of this helps then PM me if you want.

Broken hip and could have operation today, should mean he will get a fair bit of use of leg back. Look like he has a chest infection and is have antibiotics administered intravenously but is more settled now after not getting his Parkinson's medication last night. Saw neighbour who asked me How he was and then said 'oh if anything happens you can't carry on living there as it's his house'' Christ give us a break. Been a few hours. Absolutely shattered and feeling a bit dizzy and shaky

Broken hip and could have operation today, should mean he will get a fair bit of use of leg back. Look like he has a chest infection and is have antibiotics administered intravenously but is more settled now after not getting his Parkinson's medication last night. Saw neighbour who asked me How he was and then said 'oh if anything happens you can't carry on living there as it's his house'' Christ give us a break. Been a few hours. Absolutely shattered and feeling a bit dizzy and shaky

Eat and keep your blood sugar level right.  Have a nap   When you start feeling overwhelmed start deep breathing. In 3. Out 3.   Focus in the moment.  Hand it over to whatever higher power you may have.
Remember what is in your control and importantly what is not.  It'll be OK

I know but I still regret not insisting that my mum had got medical treatment earlier  she was so stubborn but wouldn't give in until it was too late. The last 4 years I have probably overconpensated by fussing over him and seeing a proud man become a shell of what he was is heartbreakkng. I am realistic and know his time is limited but the bond I got with him since my mum died is so much stronger than it was before. The last few months working from home have been the best I have had for a few years. I know he is in the best place but I want his last few years to have some quality of living. I don't want to wallow in self pity but the last month or so worrying about him, work and trying to keep myself going has been hard. I think I need help before I just go under.

The pandemic has made it worse as I really have little idea what's happening

Remember to try and take care of yourself, in what obviously is a very difficult time for you and your dad.

Broken hip and could have operation today, should mean he will get a fair bit of use of leg back. Look like he has a chest infection and is have antibiotics administered intravenously but is more settled now after not getting his Parkinson's medication last night. Saw neighbour who asked me How he was and then said 'oh if anything happens you can't carry on living there as it's his house'' Christ give us a break. Been a few hours. Absolutely shattered and feeling a bit dizzy and shaky

Just to add what MIRO said... take it easy with yourself.. get some food into your system & warm liquids & most importantly REST..

As for your neighbour.. tell him him to go f**k himself..

Thanks so much, means a lot. Dreading telling work, they might tell.me to take time off, would rather work atm even if it working from home

Thanks so much, means a lot. Dreading telling work, they might tell.me to take time off, would rather work atm even if it working from home

Stay strong FK10

Currently in hospital,  phone rang at 3, seems it's a matter of time. Just can't get my head around this

Currently in hospital,  phone rang at 3, seems it's a matter of time. Just can't get my head around this

Again keep strong pal. PM if you ever want a chat.

Currently in hospital,  phone rang at 3, seems it's a matter of time. Just can't get my head around this

Stay strong mate in these difficult times, I have an idea of what you are going through as I was diagnosed with Parkinson's 2 years ago next month. Lucky for me the condition has not deteriorated much over that time. The only problem I have at the moment is the tremors in my right arm.
As you can see you have got wonderful support from some fantastic people on this forum. One last thing take all the help you can get as it is offered sincerely. Take care.

Thanks so much, seeing such a proud man and wonderful looking so helpless breaks me heart. My comfort is that he is peaceful and he isn't suffering anymore. Just seems the infection has taken over and he isn't strong enough to fight anymore. Perhaps I was foolish to get my hopes up yesterday when I was told he was more settled.  The last 4 years he has been my primary focus. The last 6 months working from home or so have been brilliant as I have had a chance to spend time with him, we rub each other up the wrong way at times, he is never wrong and arguing is pointless.  Just feel there is so much I wanted to say to him in the last few years of his life.

Just a matter of time now

Just reading all these. FK, mate, you're taking me back a year, here.

Big love man. DM me if you need a chat. More than willing to exchange numbers aswell. Thinking of you, mate. Really.

Just reading all these. FK, mate, you're taking me back a year, here.

Big love man. DM me if you need a chat. More than willing to exchange numbers aswell. Thinking of you, mate. Really.

Thanks, just going to see him again. Can't cope just sat there next to him waiting for the end. Just yesterday they said he was calmer and set for his operation on his hip. Obviously much sicker than everyone  thought. Just going in waves at the moment.

Thanks so much, seeing such a proud man and wonderful looking so helpless breaks me heart. My comfort is that he is peaceful and he isn't suffering anymore. Just seems the infection has taken over and he isn't strong enough to fight anymore. Perhaps I was foolish to get my hopes up yesterday when I was told he was more settled.  The last 4 years he has been my primary focus.

The last 6 months working from home or so have been brilliant as I have had a chance to spend time with him, we rub each other up the wrong way at times, he is never wrong and arguing is pointless. 

Just feel there is so much I wanted to say to him in the last few years of his life.

Those last 6 months were there for you and him to cherish.
That is the beauty of trying to live in the moment ..... just to be.
You've had that when other people were chasing their delusions and illusions.

You need to let go and be at peace with yourself.  You being screwed up down the rabbit hole is of no use at all.
Easier said than done.


Remember :  This is your alternative family on here.

         

YNWA.

Those last 6 months were there for you and him to cherish.
That is the beauty of trying to live in the moment ..... just to be.
You've had that when other people were chasing their delusions and illusions.

You need to let go and be at peace with yourself.  You being screwed up down the rabbit hole is of no use at all.
Easier said than done.


Remember :  This is your alternative family on here.

         

YNWA.

Thanks
Just comeback, can't sit there and watch him like that, always said I wanted to stay until the end but I just can't.  Perhaps that makes me a bad person. Apparently they now reckon he had a heart attack at some stage. Feeling helpless

Thanks
Just comeback, can't sit there and watch him like that, always said I wanted to stay until the end but I just can't.  Perhaps that makes me a bad person. Apparently they now reckon he had a heart attack at some stage. Feeling helpless

FK10 - I don't know you face to face but your posts have always been considered and generous on these boards. You are a great person and to be there with your dad for the last 6 months says everything about you.