Trending Topics

      Next match: LFC v Brighton [Premier League] Sun 31st Mar @ 2:00 pm
      Anfield

      Today is the 28th of March and on this date LFC's match record is P26 W11 D3 L12

      The mental health thread

      Read 38462 times
      0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
      Lallana in Pyjamas
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 12,479 posts | 3285 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #184: Mar 08, 2023 10:13:21 am
      Iā€™m hanging in there at the moment just about - this morning was a big struggle and sleep is a thing of the past and the weight is dropping off me but Iā€™m currently back in America now with some family so I can be away from all triggers and hopefully get myself in a bit of a better way.

      Sorry to Cas, Dave, John and everyone else who has messaged me. I will get back to all of you soon, Iā€™m just having a bit of a time out from my phone/laptop etc.

      It means a lot everyone who has reached out.

      Hi mate


      Donā€™t really know you as well as other but thought would check in and see how you are doing
      7-King Kenny-7
      • Lives on Sesame Street
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 44,014 posts | 5760 
      • You'll Never Walk Alone!
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #185: Mar 25, 2023 04:21:30 pm
      People tell me it gets easier over time but it doesnā€™t feel that way, feels like itā€™s getting worse. The more time goes on the more Iā€™m blaming myself. I feel stuck in a hole of depression and thereā€™s no way out.

      Iā€™m desperate to get her back, the brief times weā€™ve spoken or seen each other I have had to put on a brave face. I have no chance if Iā€™m begging and pleading with her, trying to convince her. Iā€™m trying to change myself for the better but itā€™s easier said than done when every second of the day is my mind torturing me.
      We messaged a bit but she was making it clear she didnā€™t want to and a week or so ago she ripped me to pieces saying her mind is made up, we wonā€™t get through it, her feelings have changed etc and all I was replying with was questions to try and understand where it went wrong. I still donā€™t know but I do blame myself for things I said in the build up to it which upon reflection, were unnecessary and were probably the tipping point for any doubts she had. She was saying how low she felt in life and lost and I ignored it with my own stresses, became overwhelmed and wrongly aimed it at her.

      The thought of her moving on and being with someone else sooner or later, someone else making her happy, having their hands on her, making her smile etc rips me apart.

      I donā€™t really use my phone now; Iā€™m doing a no contact period with her, one of my best mates said it might give her the chance to miss me so if I donā€™t have my phone on me, it takes away the temptation to just quickly message her.
      But Iā€™m not confident, itā€™s just going to make it easier for her to get over me and sheā€™s already once said that sheā€™s doing ok without me. But, what have I got to lose at this point? Sheā€™s already left me.
       I just pray that after a period of no contact, it gives us both chance to heal and we are able to reconnect but I have about 0.5% confidence in that happening - sheā€™ll probably just tell me sheā€™s speaking to someone else by that point.

      I feel trapped in a hole of unhappiness with constant fear and thereā€™s not even a glimmer of light.

      Sorry once again that Iā€™ve still not gotten back to the messages from people, I will do so, I just canā€™t be using my phone much at the moment.
      Keith Singleton
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 16,662 posts | 2656 
      • Sir Lewis Hamilton
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #186: Mar 25, 2023 04:45:59 pm
      People tell me it gets easier over time but it doesnā€™t feel that way, feels like itā€™s getting worse. The more time goes on the more Iā€™m blaming myself. I feel stuck in a hole of depression and thereā€™s no way out.

      Iā€™m desperate to get her back, the brief times weā€™ve spoken or seen each other I have had to put on a brave face. I have no chance if Iā€™m begging and pleading with her, trying to convince her. Iā€™m trying to change myself for the better but itā€™s easier said than done when every second of the day is my mind torturing me.
      We messaged a bit but she was making it clear she didnā€™t want to and a week or so ago she ripped me to pieces saying her mind is made up, we wonā€™t get through it, her feelings have changed etc and all I was replying with was questions to try and understand where it went wrong. I still donā€™t know but I do blame myself for things I said in the build up to it which upon reflection, were unnecessary and were probably the tipping point for any doubts she had. She was saying how low she felt in life and lost and I ignored it with my own stresses, became overwhelmed and wrongly aimed it at her.

      The thought of her moving on and being with someone else sooner or later, someone else making her happy, having their hands on her, making her smile etc rips me apart.

      I donā€™t really use my phone now; Iā€™m doing a no contact period with her, one of my best mates said it might give her the chance to miss me so if I donā€™t have my phone on me, it takes away the temptation to just quickly message her.
      But Iā€™m not confident, itā€™s just going to make it easier for her to get over me and sheā€™s already once said that sheā€™s doing ok without me. But, what have I got to lose at this point? Sheā€™s already left me.
       I just pray that after a period of no contact, it gives us both chance to heal and we are able to reconnect but I have about 0.5% confidence in that happening - sheā€™ll probably just tell me sheā€™s speaking to someone else by that point.

      I feel trapped in a hole of unhappiness with constant fear and thereā€™s not even a glimmer of light.

      Sorry once again that Iā€™ve still not gotten back to the messages from people, I will do so, I just canā€™t be using my phone much at the moment.

      This has been going on a while now and still no change to make your life any happier. Women are very strange creatures and Iā€™m not sure we will ever work them out. My heart bleeds for you and can only hope you get some comfort going forward soon. 
      racerx34
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 33,581 posts | 3826 
      • THE SALT IN THE SOUP
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #187: Mar 25, 2023 04:49:19 pm
      People tell me it gets easier over time but it doesnā€™t feel that way, feels like itā€™s getting worse. The more time goes on the more Iā€™m blaming myself. I feel stuck in a hole of depression and thereā€™s no way out.

      Iā€™m desperate to get her back, the brief times weā€™ve spoken or seen each other I have had to put on a brave face. I have no chance if Iā€™m begging and pleading with her, trying to convince her. Iā€™m trying to change myself for the better but itā€™s easier said than done when every second of the day is my mind torturing me.
      We messaged a bit but she was making it clear she didnā€™t want to and a week or so ago she ripped me to pieces saying her mind is made up, we wonā€™t get through it, her feelings have changed etc and all I was replying with was questions to try and understand where it went wrong. I still donā€™t know but I do blame myself for things I said in the build up to it which upon reflection, were unnecessary and were probably the tipping point for any doubts she had. She was saying how low she felt in life and lost and I ignored it with my own stresses, became overwhelmed and wrongly aimed it at her.

      The thought of her moving on and being with someone else sooner or later, someone else making her happy, having their hands on her, making her smile etc rips me apart.

      I donā€™t really use my phone now; Iā€™m doing a no contact period with her, one of my best mates said it might give her the chance to miss me so if I donā€™t have my phone on me, it takes away the temptation to just quickly message her.
      But Iā€™m not confident, itā€™s just going to make it easier for her to get over me and sheā€™s already once said that sheā€™s doing ok without me. But, what have I got to lose at this point? Sheā€™s already left me.
       I just pray that after a period of no contact, it gives us both chance to heal and we are able to reconnect but I have about 0.5% confidence in that happening - sheā€™ll probably just tell me sheā€™s speaking to someone else by that point.

      I feel trapped in a hole of unhappiness with constant fear and thereā€™s not even a glimmer of light.

      Sorry once again that Iā€™ve still not gotten back to the messages from people, I will do so, I just canā€™t be using my phone much at the moment.

      You need to listen to your friend, take a step back and give her some space.
      Within that you need to find focus for yourself on something else in that time.
      Be it running/training whatever gets you focused somewhere else.

      You need to focus on yourself right now and see how it goes from there.
      Lallana in Pyjamas
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 12,479 posts | 3285 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #188: Mar 25, 2023 04:53:14 pm
      People tell me it gets easier over time but it doesnā€™t feel that way, feels like itā€™s getting worse. The more time goes on the more Iā€™m blaming myself. I feel stuck in a hole of depression and thereā€™s no way out.

      Iā€™m desperate to get her back, the brief times weā€™ve spoken or seen each other I have had to put on a brave face. I have no chance if Iā€™m begging and pleading with her, trying to convince her. Iā€™m trying to change myself for the better but itā€™s easier said than done when every second of the day is my mind torturing me.
      We messaged a bit but she was making it clear she didnā€™t want to and a week or so ago she ripped me to pieces saying her mind is made up, we wonā€™t get through it, her feelings have changed etc and all I was replying with was questions to try and understand where it went wrong. I still donā€™t know but I do blame myself for things I said in the build up to it which upon reflection, were unnecessary and were probably the tipping point for any doubts she had. She was saying how low she felt in life and lost and I ignored it with my own stresses, became overwhelmed and wrongly aimed it at her.

      The thought of her moving on and being with someone else sooner or later, someone else making her happy, having their hands on her, making her smile etc rips me apart.

      I donā€™t really use my phone now; Iā€™m doing a no contact period with her, one of my best mates said it might give her the chance to miss me so if I donā€™t have my phone on me, it takes away the temptation to just quickly message her.
      But Iā€™m not confident, itā€™s just going to make it easier for her to get over me and sheā€™s already once said that sheā€™s doing ok without me. But, what have I got to lose at this point? Sheā€™s already left me.
       I just pray that after a period of no contact, it gives us both chance to heal and we are able to reconnect but I have about 0.5% confidence in that happening - sheā€™ll probably just tell me sheā€™s speaking to someone else by that point.

      I feel trapped in a hole of unhappiness with constant fear and thereā€™s not even a glimmer of light.

      Sorry once again that Iā€™ve still not gotten back to the messages from people, I will do so, I just canā€™t be using my phone much at the moment.

      I know itā€™s tough but you need to listen to your friend and cut of the ties at the moment


      Itā€™s the old saying if itā€™s meant to be then you both find your way back to each other


      Need to find something to focus on - walking , running , getting out of the house etc


      Itā€™s not easy but you can get through it
      FATKOPITE10
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 14,342 posts | 3368 
      • Liverpool fc give me tourettes
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #189: Mar 25, 2023 05:10:51 pm

      So sorry to hear that you're still struggling,  it's so difficult and it's so easy to get wrapped up in something that makes you feel unable to carry on. Easy, straightforward and everyday things you take for granted become difficult,  it becomes a vicious circle. Listen to your friend, believes me cutting myself off from the outside world does more harm than good.  Take care of yourself,  just take one day at a time , don't be too proud to reach out , even if it's just to check in .
      7-King Kenny-7
      • Lives on Sesame Street
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 44,014 posts | 5760 
      • You'll Never Walk Alone!
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #190: Mar 25, 2023 05:38:24 pm
      Thank you again for the kind replies.

      Iā€™m going to get back to the gym, I havenā€™t got the motivation for it but I need to take the leap and it might help if I can at least get back into that routine of focus.
      racerx34
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 33,581 posts | 3826 
      • THE SALT IN THE SOUP
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #191: Mar 25, 2023 05:47:00 pm
      Thank you again for the kind replies.

      Iā€™m going to get back to the gym, I havenā€™t got the motivation for it but I need to take the leap and it might help if I can at least get back into that routine of focus.

      Don't set yourself any goals except to just show up and put the effort in for a few months.
      If nothing else it will give you some focus/routine and help work stuff out in your head.
      HScRed1
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 20,172 posts | 4401 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #192: Mar 26, 2023 12:14:18 am
      Personally I would suggest to set yourself a target to show yourself what you can achieve.

      End of the day just remember ā€œIf you found it in your heart to care for someone else, you have succeededā€.
      higgy_sham
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 3,264 posts | 796 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #193: Mar 26, 2023 02:34:12 am
      Thank you again for the kind replies.

      Iā€™m going to get back to the gym, I havenā€™t got the motivation for it but I need to take the leap and it might help if I can at least get back into that routine of focus.

      Get back to it mate, it will definitely help your mood.

      As Racer says just show up to start with then you can set yourself small goals.

      I'll not pretend like my current situation is anywhere near as bad as yours but I started back to the gym last week after being in a bit of a rut and my mood has lifted 10 fold even after one session.

      Even years ago when I was in a sh*te place it 100% helped me get out of a bad mindset, it gave me something to focus on and took my mind off certain things.

      Take each day as it comes mate and as I said before my inbox is always open.
      Klopps Snood
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 1,631 posts | 1558 
      • CHAMPI9NS
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #194: Mar 26, 2023 10:10:01 pm
      Some great advice from your fellow reds Ben, we all feel your pain and sadness, one day at a time is what I suggest and hopefully you feel a little bit stronger and able to cope with everything a little bit better as time goes by.

      Only you and her know what the whole situation is and only you and her can fix it, time is a great healer though.

      All you can do is be honest and be patient with the situation and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it all works out well for you, love Cas xx

      7-King Kenny-7
      • Lives on Sesame Street
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 44,014 posts | 5760 
      • You'll Never Walk Alone!
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #195: Apr 17, 2023 01:52:51 am
      I cut contact with her from the last time I posted and I started to get into a bit of a routine, started seeing some friends more. The pain was still there but I was getting out more.
      I have also been going to a therapist for a few weeks now.

      Last week she reached out to ask how I was doing which I thought was niceā€¦ she soon followed that up with asking for the rest of her stuff back. Arranged to give her stuff back to her on a day that suited me.
      Anyway, we met up and had a drink in a cafe and talked normally, she was laughing and everything seemed good and I thought ā€œok this is seeming ok, maybe at the end if itā€™s still like this will ask if she fancies hanging out again soonā€ā€¦. Then bam!!! She started asking if we were friends and if we would be friends no matter what and she started looking awkward and I knew exactly what she was heading towards so I asked her - ā€œis there someone else?ā€ And her reply was ā€œIā€™ve started seeing someone from workā€. I asked who because I had my suspicions and she said exactly who I thought she was going to say. She said he initiated it but theyā€™ve been on a few dates and kissedā€¦ I dread to think what else but the thought of them being together like that kills me. So I got her stuff out of my car, I put it in her car and then I said to her ā€œsee you around, look after yourselfā€ and then I got in my car and drove the f**k away from her and didnā€™t look back at her. When I was getting in the car she looked so shocked because she didnā€™t expect that. It was so damn hard but I made sure I didnā€™t fall apart in front of her, just kept my composure as best I could and got away from the situation.

      I think sheā€™s been seeing him for about 3-4 weeks but theyā€™ve been talking a lot longer than that, so it goes to show exactly what she thought of our relationship and me. I feel so betrayed as well as heart broken.

      I think heā€™s been eyeing her up for some time and people have told me heā€™s not a nice person.

      I feel like all the progress I was starting to make has put me straight back to rock bottom. My brain is killing me with the thought of them 2 together and that whilst Iā€™ve been suffering sheā€™s been off with him.

      I could happily go and beat the crap out of him but what good is that going to do?! Itā€™s only going to push her towards him more.

      The horrible thing is, despite how betrayed I feel by her, I still canā€™t help but wish we were back together.
      FL Red
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 31,048 posts | 6294 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #196: Apr 17, 2023 03:12:10 am
      You canā€™t make someone love you. I know that probably doesnā€™t help much, but once I learned that, my relationships with other humans vastly improved.  You have inherent worth as a person and if she doesnā€™t see that or appreciate it, sheā€™s not good enough for you. You will find someone that does appreciate you the way you deserve but itā€™s probably gonna take time. Just focus on the things you can manage, try not to get bogged down by the things you canā€™t. Also, and this is a really hard one, try to forgive her any pain sheā€™s caused and wish her well. Harboring resentment only hurts you, she wonā€™t ever be affected by it.
      Keith Singleton
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 16,662 posts | 2656 
      • Sir Lewis Hamilton
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #197: Apr 17, 2023 08:34:55 am
      Reading that post KK I can feeling youā€™re now excepting the inevitable which is a good thing and can now see you moving on to hopefully better things. Youā€™ve done the right things in your actions and walking away once you heard the news is a testament to you moving forward.

      Hoping to see regular post from you really soon now. 👍
      racerx34
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 33,581 posts | 3826 
      • THE SALT IN THE SOUP
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #198: Apr 17, 2023 10:48:24 am
      I cut contact with her from the last time I posted and I started to get into a bit of a routine, started seeing some friends more. The pain was still there but I was getting out more.
      I have also been going to a therapist for a few weeks now.

      Last week she reached out to ask how I was doing which I thought was niceā€¦ she soon followed that up with asking for the rest of her stuff back. Arranged to give her stuff back to her on a day that suited me.
      Anyway, we met up and had a drink in a cafe and talked normally, she was laughing and everything seemed good and I thought ā€œok this is seeming ok, maybe at the end if itā€™s still like this will ask if she fancies hanging out again soonā€ā€¦. Then bam!!! She started asking if we were friends and if we would be friends no matter what and she started looking awkward and I knew exactly what she was heading towards so I asked her - ā€œis there someone else?ā€ And her reply was ā€œIā€™ve started seeing someone from workā€. I asked who because I had my suspicions and she said exactly who I thought she was going to say. She said he initiated it but theyā€™ve been on a few dates and kissedā€¦ I dread to think what else but the thought of them being together like that kills me. So I got her stuff out of my car, I put it in her car and then I said to her ā€œsee you around, look after yourselfā€ and then I got in my car and drove the f**k away from her and didnā€™t look back at her. When I was getting in the car she looked so shocked because she didnā€™t expect that. It was so damn hard but I made sure I didnā€™t fall apart in front of her, just kept my composure as best I could and got away from the situation.

      I think sheā€™s been seeing him for about 3-4 weeks but theyā€™ve been talking a lot longer than that, so it goes to show exactly what she thought of our relationship and me. I feel so betrayed as well as heart broken.

      I think heā€™s been eyeing her up for some time and people have told me heā€™s not a nice person.

      I feel like all the progress I was starting to make has put me straight back to rock bottom. My brain is killing me with the thought of them 2 together and that whilst Iā€™ve been suffering sheā€™s been off with him.

      I could happily go and beat the crap out of him but what good is that going to do?! Itā€™s only going to push her towards him more.

      The horrible thing is, despite how betrayed I feel by her, I still canā€™t help but wish we were back together.

      Look KK I feel your pain. I've been that guy. Was with a girl for years and she broke up with me when she went to America because she met a guy.
      Then there was back and forth where we'd meet up for dinner etc.

      The part where you got in your car and didn't look back, stick to that.

      She can't have it both ways. She can't dump you and then play the "I want you in my life as a friend" card.
      F**k that. Know your worth. You deserve more.

      If she can't see it somebody else will.
      Get back in the gym. Focus on you.
      Somebody else will gravitate towards you.
      « Last Edit: Apr 17, 2023 12:12:57 pm by racerx34 »
      AussieRed
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 20,583 posts | 6643 
      • You'll Never Walk Alone
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #199: Apr 18, 2023 01:48:56 am
      I cut contact with her from the last time I posted and I started to get into a bit of a routine, started seeing some friends more. The pain was still there but I was getting out more.
      I have also been going to a therapist for a few weeks now.

      Last week she reached out to ask how I was doing which I thought was niceā€¦ she soon followed that up with asking for the rest of her stuff back. Arranged to give her stuff back to her on a day that suited me.
      Anyway, we met up and had a drink in a cafe and talked normally, she was laughing and everything seemed good and I thought ā€œok this is seeming ok, maybe at the end if itā€™s still like this will ask if she fancies hanging out again soonā€ā€¦. Then bam!!! She started asking if we were friends and if we would be friends no matter what and she started looking awkward and I knew exactly what she was heading towards so I asked her - ā€œis there someone else?ā€ And her reply was ā€œIā€™ve started seeing someone from workā€. I asked who because I had my suspicions and she said exactly who I thought she was going to say. She said he initiated it but theyā€™ve been on a few dates and kissedā€¦ I dread to think what else but the thought of them being together like that kills me. So I got her stuff out of my car, I put it in her car and then I said to her ā€œsee you around, look after yourselfā€ and then I got in my car and drove the f**k away from her and didnā€™t look back at her. When I was getting in the car she looked so shocked because she didnā€™t expect that. It was so damn hard but I made sure I didnā€™t fall apart in front of her, just kept my composure as best I could and got away from the situation.

      I think sheā€™s been seeing him for about 3-4 weeks but theyā€™ve been talking a lot longer than that, so it goes to show exactly what she thought of our relationship and me. I feel so betrayed as well as heart broken.

      I think heā€™s been eyeing her up for some time and people have told me heā€™s not a nice person.

      I feel like all the progress I was starting to make has put me straight back to rock bottom. My brain is killing me with the thought of them 2 together and that whilst Iā€™ve been suffering sheā€™s been off with him.

      I could happily go and beat the crap out of him but what good is that going to do?! Itā€™s only going to push her towards him more.

      The horrible thing is, despite how betrayed I feel by her, I still canā€™t help but wish we were back together.

      So sorry to hear this mate.

      Heart goes out to ya Bud.


      Chin up mate, as best you can.



       :hug: :hug: :hug:
      andylfcynwa
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 9,318 posts | 1611 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #200: Oct 27, 2023 06:50:24 pm
      Just when you feel the only way is up ya find out thereā€™s a little bit more to slide yet , the realisation that you once had it all and didnā€™t even realise it, buy the house raise the kids pay off the house kids leave all that time that you donā€™t know what to do with them boom the big crash ,
      srslfc
      • Forum Legend - Shankly
      • ******

      • 32,111 posts | 4876 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #201: Mar 19, 2024 08:25:36 pm
      Been putting off calling the doctor for a while now but going to buy the bullet I think.

      Long story short I've been feeling extremely low for ages now. Had a complete breakdown in work about 7 years ago and had to take a month off. Doctor advised combination of depression, work place stress and anxiety. Antidepressants for a good while then gradually came off them.

      Got  temporary promotion/secondment at work which wasn't made permanent. I dealt with this, well thought I had, and got on with being back managing my store again. Left ths company last summer as the hours and stress were really difficult to stomach. Been in two jobs since one four months and this one three and I really think I need to get out.

      Some of you know I'm a manager in hospitality. Fast Food for ages and now cafes and one aspect that really has affected my mental health is never being able to switch off. WhatsApp messages day in day out, emails on days off, being responsible for staff and all that entails. It's exhausting.

      I noticed I get no real joy in work now even when things are going ok. Go to bed early and wake up 3/4am and can't get back to sleep. Edgy when at home and while some days I'm ok others I get no real joy our of the things I like.

      Made a joke to my brother the other day that is love a job where I don't have to manage people or a business for someone. Just go in do my work and go home. And I've actually started to look into it. Talked to my wife today and she actually thinks what I'm saying makes sense. I'd rather do 10-15 hours extra a week and being able to switch off than my normal 40 and then constantly be switched on at home.

      You might say just switch off and don't worry about work but my mind can't which is the problem. It's the way I'm built. I care too much but now even through I care enough to do the work I don't care enough to keep going.

      « Last Edit: Mar 19, 2024 08:38:03 pm by srslfc »
      Lallana in Pyjamas
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 12,479 posts | 3285 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #202: Mar 19, 2024 08:36:53 pm
      Been putting off calling the doctor for a while now but going to buy the bullet I think.

      Long story short I've been feeling extremely for ages now. Had a complete breakdown in work about 7 years ago and had to take a month off. Doctor advised combination of depression, work place stress and anxiety. Antidepressants for a good while Theo gradually came off them.

      Got  temporary promotion/secondment at work which wasn't made permanent. I dealt with this, well thought I had, and got on with being back managing my store again. Left ths company last summer as the hours and stress were really difficult to stomach. Been in two jobs since one four months and this one three and I really think I need to get out.

      Some of you know I'm a manager in hospitality. Fast Food for ages and now cafes and one aspect that really has affected my mental health is never being able to switch off. WhatsApp messages day in day out, emails on days off, being responsible for staff and all that entails. It's exhausting.

      I noticed I get no real joy in work now even when things are going ok. Go to bed early and wake up 3/4am and can't get back to sleep. Edgy when at home and while some days I'm ok others I get no real joy our of the things I like.

      Made a joke to my brother the other day that is love a job where I don't have to manage people or a business for someone. Just go in do my work and go home. And I've actually started to look into it. Talked to my wife today and she actually thinks what I'm saying makes sense. I'd rather do 10-15 hours extra a week and being able to switch off than my normal 40 and then constantly be switched on at home.

      You might say just switch off and don't worry about work but my mind can't which is the problem. It's the way I'm built. I care too much but now even through I care enough to do the work I don't care enough to keep going.

      Hope it works out and plenty here to chat too if needed 👍

      Many have swapped careers to ensure they get a better quality of life
      srslfc
      • Forum Legend - Shankly
      • ******

      • 32,111 posts | 4876 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #203: Mar 19, 2024 08:41:25 pm
      Hope it works out and plenty here to chat too if needed 👍

      Many have swapped careers to ensure they get a better quality of life

      Cheers mate. I actually feel a bit of weight off even talking it proper with my wife.

      I think I recognise the triggers clearly now even though it's took me since last summer. The sleep pattern is unlike me, I'm usually 11pm or so and right through to 7. Now I've seen me go to bed 8:30 and wake up middle of night usually thinking of work.

      I can take a minimum wage job with extra hours and be no worse off and in my mind I then can just go home switch off and enjoy my life instead of my brain constantly thinking about the next day, doing work from home and generally stressing myself out about someone else's business.
      Keith Singleton
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 16,662 posts | 2656 
      • Sir Lewis Hamilton
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #204: Mar 19, 2024 09:25:20 pm
      Been putting off calling the doctor for a while now but going to buy the bullet I think.

      Long story short I've been feeling extremely low for ages now. Had a complete breakdown in work about 7 years ago and had to take a month off. Doctor advised combination of depression, work place stress and anxiety. Antidepressants for a good while then gradually came off them.

      Got  temporary promotion/secondment at work which wasn't made permanent. I dealt with this, well thought I had, and got on with being back managing my store again. Left ths company last summer as the hours and stress were really difficult to stomach. Been in two jobs since one four months and this one three and I really think I need to get out.

      Some of you know I'm a manager in hospitality. Fast Food for ages and now cafes and one aspect that really has affected my mental health is never being able to switch off. WhatsApp messages day in day out, emails on days off, being responsible for staff and all that entails. It's exhausting.

      I noticed I get no real joy in work now even when things are going ok. Go to bed early and wake up 3/4am and can't get back to sleep. Edgy when at home and while some days I'm ok others I get no real joy our of the things I like.

      Made a joke to my brother the other day that is love a job where I don't have to manage people or a business for someone. Just go in do my work and go home. And I've actually started to look into it. Talked to my wife today and she actually thinks what I'm saying makes sense. I'd rather do 10-15 hours extra a week and being able to switch off than my normal 40 and then constantly be switched on at home.

      You might say just switch off and don't worry about work but my mind can't which is the problem. It's the way I'm built. I care too much but now even through I care enough to do the work I don't care enough to keep going.



      I echo Pjs word Si.

      Itā€™s never nice hearing people with mental health issues as itā€™s very hard knowing what to say unless youā€™re a professional in that field. Youā€™ve done the right thing getting it off your chess though, youā€™re probably already feeling better for it.

      Get the help thatā€™s needed/available and hopefully they put you on the right track. A new job outside your sector brings new challenges and expectations which can help considerably. Your sleeping problems undoubtedly bring anxiety issues as I had similar problems years ago.  Get that sorted and a huge weight comes off your shoulders.

      Keep us all in touch and remember a problem shared is a problem halved.

      Wishing you well Si. 🥰
      srslfc
      • Forum Legend - Shankly
      • ******

      • 32,111 posts | 4876 
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #205: Mar 19, 2024 09:34:21 pm
      I echo Pjs word Si.

      Itā€™s never nice hearing people with mental health issues as itā€™s very hard knowing what to say unless youā€™re a professional in that field. Youā€™ve done the right thing getting it off your chess though, youā€™re probably already feeling better for it.

      Get the help thatā€™s needed/available and hopefully they put you on the right track. A new job outside your sector brings new challenges and expectations which can help considerably. Your sleeping problems undoubtedly bring anxiety issues as I had similar problems years ago.  Get that sorted and a huge weight comes off your shoulders.

      Keep us all in touch and remember a problem shared is a problem halved.

      Wishing you well Si. 🥰

      Thanks Keith, to be honest it seems small fry compared to what some have posted on here but as my wife says everyone's mental health is different.

      Agree on finding it hard to say to these issues as I was one years ago who probably brushed off stone with mental health issues until I had an episode myself.

      I consider myself a strong character as well but a real deep thinker and really get inside my own head. Now though I can see that's a mental health issue and not just something to ignore.

      I'm not religious at all and find myself at times wondering what is the point. Literally what is the point slogging through this life to end up in a box in the ground?

      So this week really thinking that going to some sort of manual job, factory, sales assistant, anything where I can go home and enjoy the little things that make me happy without stressing about work is the way forward for me.
      Keith Singleton
      • LFC Reds Subscriber
      • ******
      • 16,662 posts | 2656 
      • Sir Lewis Hamilton
      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #206: Mar 19, 2024 09:42:44 pm
      Thanks Keith, to be honest it seems small fry compared to what some have posted on here but as my wife says everyone's mental health is different.

      Agree on finding it hard to say to these issues as I was one years ago who probably brushed off stone with mental health issues until I had an episode myself.

      I consider myself a strong character as well but a real deep thinker and really get inside my own head. Now though I can see that's a mental health issue and not just something to ignore.

      I'm not religious at all and find myself at times wondering what is the point. Literally what is the point slogging through this life to end up in a box in the ground?

      So this week really thinking that going to some sort of manual job, factory, sales assistant, anything where I can go home and enjoy the little things that make me happy without stressing about work is the way forward for me.

      Mental health issues are never small fry but understand why you think why, the wife called it spot on. Think many of us know youā€™re a man of strong character just based on your post alone. Keep thinking like youā€™re doing and be positive, especially looking for that new avenue that will give you that spring in your step again. Sounds like the wife got your back, no better person for it too.

      Chin up, onwards and upwards is what my mum said to me, it worked!  👍

      Quick Reply