Corrupt A Wish

Granted but your wish is corrupt in itself

I wish I could fly

Granted  but your Orville and Keith Harris has his hand up your arse



I wish I had a Maclaren F1

Ha Ha good one mate
Granted but you don't have the adhesive to assemble the model
I wish I was in Dubai

Granted but when you get their you find out its Ramadan meaning your not allowed to eat in public or you will be fined.
I wish the Alonso saga would end.

Granted but he would be sold. 

I wish I took over as manager of Liverpool FC from Rafa!

Granted but then you lead us into the relegation zone after 10 games and are instantly dismissed

I wish I wish I wish for more wishes

Granted , but none of 'em will come true

I wish I Champions League games weren't so late in the night for me (3pm there is the perfect timing for me here in India instead of 8 pm in England)

Granted but we lose every game so we bring it back to normal time.

I wish my headache will go away.

Granted ...now you have stomach ache

I wish I wasn't so lazy

Granted but then you pull a muscle from being so athletic.

I wish i was more adventurous. 

Granted you become too adventurous and break your arm

I wish me teeth would stop hurting

Granted but then you have an earache.

I wish my brother would stop playing French rap !

Granted now he's playing Slovakian rap

I wish Perez would jump off a building 

Granted but then he takes Rafa with him.

I wish some official transfer news would come through regarding Liverpool.

Granted but that'll be to announce the signings of Bob Dwyer and Eidur Yelpin from Sunday League clubs for a combined fee of £25.

I wish bacon butties made themselves because I'm hungry.

Granted but they are under cooked and you contract salmonella

I wish Alonso passes his medical.

Granted but then he scores against us in champions league final.

I wish Rafa spends the money on someone better than Poulsen.

Granted but he's a crock called Aquilani

I wish Rafa invests this money on the players to land the 19th

Granted but then we stay at 19 for 20 years.

I wish i don't get another negative.

Granted but in order for that to happen you must give everyone else 10 plusses !
I wish the start of the season was here  ?

Granted , it came too soon and we lose our first game to Spurs ( god forbid this summer has been bad enough)

I wish I had a body like Abbey Clancy's

Granted and I wish every woman had a body like Abbey Clancy's
I wish we could sign the two Davids and you all know who I'm talking about

Granted but I don't know who you're talking about and we sign David Beckham and David Hasselhoff.

I wish that Real Madrid get relegated this season.