Just saw this in the paper:
New Star: Premier League teams to Jostle for Signature of Sunderland prospect Beach Ball
Four Minutes, Twenty-Eight Seconds. This is the moment a star was born at the Stadium of Light today in the Premier League match-up between Sunderland and Liverpool.
Come the end of the game, Beach Ball's opportunistic strike was still the one that counted as Sunderland scored their first win against Liverpool for 7 years, and what a strike it was. World class positioning some are saying, as Beach Ball got between ball and keeper and diverted an otherwise standard save past a hapless Reina.
Asked about his thoughts on the game, Beach Ball said, "Well, i was just in the stands enjoying the spectacle, trying to score a beer off someone when some dickhead just threw me onto the field! Thought, hey heres a chance to kick off my career, and it came. Really blessed i am, lucky the rules allow Beach Balls a chance in this league"
After this he was mobbed by thousands of adoring new fans looking for a signature, which he unfortunately could not provide being he has no hands.
Premier League clubs are reportedly already fighting over who will land the new stars signature, none more so than Sir Alex Ferguson, who remarked after his sides win against Bolton, "We at Manchester United are always looking for new ways to steal matches and points in any way possible. With the tapping up of referees seemingly fading out after Wiley's F**k up last week, Beach Ball really seems like the perfect type to fit into our corrupt system."
Rafa Benitez refused to be drawn into the speculation, simply saying, "With two skint basterds at the helm of our club, we have no chance in signing Beach Ball, FACHT. We will try for his poorer cousin, Golf Ball, to replace Babel."
Whatever happens with the Transfer saga beginning here, it is certain a new star has been born.
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