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      Fines

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      RedLFCBlood
      • Guest
      Fines
      Jan 12, 2010 01:22:14 pm
      Just got sent this on facebook, thought it was pretty funny.

      Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.

      You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

      NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it....

      Then tell us what your fine is £XX' (whatever amount is!)

      Smoked weed -- £10

      Did acid or pills -- £5

      Ever had sex at church -- £25

      Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- £40

      Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc -- £25

      Had sex for money -- £100

      Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- £20

      Vandalized something -- £20

      Had sex on your parents' bed -- £10

      Beat up someone -- £20

      Been jumped -- £10

      Cross dressed -- £10

      Given money to stripper -- £25

      Been in love with a stripper -- £20

      Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- £0.10

      Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £15

      Ever drive and drank -- £20

      Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £50

      Used toys while having sex -- £30

      Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £20

      Went skinny dipping -- £5

      Had sex in a pool -- £20

      Kissed someone of the same sex -- £10

      Had sex with someone of the same sex -- £20

      Cheated on your significant other -- £10

      Masturbated -- £10

      Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £20

      Done oral -- £5

      Got oral -- £5

      Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- £25

      Stole something -- £10

      Had sex with someone in jail -- £25

      Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- £15

      Had a threesome -- £50

      Had sex in public -- £20

      Been in the same room while someone was having sex --£25

      Stole something worth over more than a hundred quid-- £20

      Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £20

      Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- £25

      Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- £50

      Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £25

      Went streaking -- £5

      Went streaking in broad daylight -- £15

      Been arrested -- £5

      Spent time in jail -- £15

      Pissed in the pool -- £5

      Played spin the bottle -- £5

      Done something you regret -- £20

      Had sex with your best friend -- £20

      Had sex with someone you know at work - £25

      Had anal sex - £80

      Lied to your mate - £5

      Lied to you mate about sex being good - £25


      My fine is £635.10p oops, who's been a naughty boy ;D


      kenny
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #1: Jan 12, 2010 01:37:24 pm
      I'm an angel compared to you. ;D

      £580.10p
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #2: Jan 12, 2010 02:10:15 pm
      I'm an angel compared to you. ;D

      £580.10p

      I blame mine on a ten year relationship you tend to experiment to keep things interesting lmao
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #3: Jan 12, 2010 03:05:56 pm
      I've lived a sheltered life. £420.10.
      stuey
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #4: Jan 12, 2010 03:17:35 pm
      F***ing L Daz you owe ME.
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #5: Jan 12, 2010 03:18:09 pm

      Why, has he bummed you? ;)
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #6: Jan 12, 2010 03:21:02 pm

      Twice I'm going for third time lucky this Sunday :D
      stuey
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #7: Jan 12, 2010 03:32:37 pm
      I will turn the other cheek to your sausage jockey suggestions.
      Reslivo
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #8: Jan 12, 2010 03:41:26 pm
      £460.10
      Dmasta
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #9: Jan 12, 2010 04:41:51 pm
      £60.10

      Yeah laugh it up.
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #10: Jan 12, 2010 04:43:28 pm
      Wowsers, will some body get closer to me & Kenny were an elite group at the moment. Drag BodBoyBubby in. :D
      7-King Kenny-7
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #11: Jan 12, 2010 04:55:49 pm
      £490.10, oops :laugh:
      stuey
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #12: Jan 12, 2010 04:58:35 pm
      Wowsers, will some body get closer to me & Kenny were an elite group at the moment. Drag BodBoyBubby in. :D
      Before you post Daryl you're not getting a F***ing breakdown-
                    
                                    Â£815-83P   and I want time to pay
      crouchinho
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #13: Jan 12, 2010 05:37:36 pm
      740.10

      :o

      And everyone has kissed someone they didn't their name.
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #14: Jan 12, 2010 05:39:53 pm
      Before you post Daryl you're not getting a F***ing breakdown-
                   
                                    £815-83P   and I want time to pay

      Ha Ha well in Stuey mate I think that will take some topping.




      Ha Ha well In Crouchino and thought I was the only bad lad :D
      kenny
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #15: Jan 12, 2010 05:44:42 pm
      Before you post Daryl you're not getting a f**king breakdown-
                   
                                    £815-83P   and I want time to pay
      740.10

      :o

      And everyone has kissed someone they didn't their name.
      Its the parents i feel sorry for, criminals ::)
      stuey
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #16: Jan 12, 2010 06:31:08 pm
      Before you post Daryl you're not getting a F***ing breakdown-
                   
                                    £815-83P   and I want time to pay
      Had to revise that figure cos I was making multiple fines for various offences which I refused to learn a lesson (slow learner)
         so now we have a grand total of £580 but I still want time to pay.
      crouchinho
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #17: Jan 12, 2010 06:32:43 pm
      Had to revise that figure cos I was making multiple fines for various offences which I refused to learn a lesson (slow learner)
         so now we have a grand total of £580 but I still want time to pay.

      I was hoping there was a typo in there.

      I would of recommended church but you probably added to your fines, there.
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #18: Jan 12, 2010 06:39:46 pm
      I wouldn't recommend Anal Sex, it knocks your fine up by £80.00, what a bummer :D
      YANK_LFC_FAN
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #19: Jan 12, 2010 06:42:51 pm
      I'm only at $520.00...Yikes.

      I see some at 750.00-$800.00.  Jesus Christ.   You Brits are just nasty.
      crouchinho
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #20: Jan 12, 2010 06:47:50 pm
      I'm only at $520.00...Yikes.

      I see some at 750.00-$800.00.  Jesus Christ.   You Brits are just nasty.

      OI! I'm in Australia! Don't be insulting me :D
      StevieG123
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #21: Jan 12, 2010 07:02:55 pm
      £155, but I'm only 16 ;)
      crouchinho
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #22: Jan 12, 2010 07:09:49 pm

      Hurry up and rack up 600 quid before you hit 18!
      Dmasta
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #23: Jan 12, 2010 07:10:56 pm
      Hurry up and rack up 600 quid before you hit 18!
      Well I'm fu**ed then.
      StevieG123
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #24: Jan 12, 2010 07:12:45 pm
      Hurry up and rack up 600 quid before you hit 18!

      Yes sir :)
      Diego LFC
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #25: Jan 12, 2010 07:14:29 pm
      300.10

      But there are a few things in the list I'm looking to achieve in the near future :P

      One thing made me think "I'm a good boy" is that I never said I loved someone when I didnt mean it ;D
      RedPuppy
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #26: Jan 12, 2010 07:31:19 pm
      £150.00 for me Not much but worth every "F***ing" Penny  ;)
      Adryan
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #27: Jan 12, 2010 11:06:02 pm
      £ 75

      I must be really gay.
      JD
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #28: Jan 13, 2010 02:07:22 am
      £645.60

      Is that good or bad?
      Alastair
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #29: Jan 13, 2010 09:39:10 am
      £645.60

      Is that good or bad?

      About right for your age ;D.

      £425. Missing out on Anal :(
      JD
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #30: Jan 13, 2010 10:31:54 am
      Thanks for the detailed information. ;)
      stuey
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #31: Jan 13, 2010 10:44:37 am
      About right for your age ;D.

      £425. Missing out on Anal :(
      Was that intentional or an oversight?
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #32: Jan 13, 2010 10:50:59 am
      About right for your age ;D.

      £425. Missing out on Anal :(

      Give Pete Price a ring. He'll sort you out.
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #33: Jan 13, 2010 11:39:04 am
      £645.60

      Is that good or bad?

      Worse than me JD by £10.50, if thats a measuring stick for you ;D
      bad boy bubby
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #34: Jan 13, 2010 11:46:15 am
      Had to check this twice but it came out at £750.10  :-[
      Ross
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #35: Jan 13, 2010 11:50:53 am
      £105.00
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #36: Jan 13, 2010 11:51:33 am
      Wowsers, will some body get closer to me & Kenny were an elite group at the moment. Drag BodBoyBubby in. :D

      Had to check this twice but it came out at £750.10  :-[

      Didn't think you'd disappoint mate :D
      Pepe Reina
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #37: Jan 13, 2010 11:56:43 am
      80 F***ing quid. :(
      CRK
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #38: Jan 13, 2010 12:40:31 pm
      £585.10.

      8)
      Alastair
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #39: Jan 13, 2010 01:04:44 pm

      University will sort you out eventually.
      Was that intentional or an oversight?

      Givng not taking please.
      stuey
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #40: Jan 13, 2010 02:26:20 pm
      University will sort you out eventually.

      Givng not taking please.
      Never doubted it hombre. 
      jindaldhruv
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #41: Jan 13, 2010 04:38:21 pm
      £125.10  :angel:
      bigvYNWA
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #42: Jan 13, 2010 05:47:17 pm
      530.10, so been a relatively good boy i guess? :D Most of my misdemeanours were cheeky ones that are not really to bad.. some of the victims may not think so but oh well :f_whistle:

      If we counted 0.10 for every time we had kissed someone we didnt know, that would make it a lot worse :D
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #43: Jan 13, 2010 05:51:38 pm
      530.10, so been a relatively good boy i guess? :D Most of my misdemeanours were cheeky ones that are not really to bad.. some of the victims may not think so but oh well :f_whistle:

      If we counted 0.10 for every time we had kissed someone we didnt know, that would make it a lot worse :D

      If I got charged £80 for every time & every girl I'd Analed, I'd be well bummed out. :)
      bigvYNWA
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #44: Jan 13, 2010 05:59:36 pm
      If I got charged £80 for every time & every man, midget and animal I'd Analed, I'd be well bummed out. :)

      :f_whistle:
      bad boy bubby
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #45: Jan 13, 2010 06:26:38 pm
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #46: Jan 13, 2010 06:31:22 pm
      If I got charged £80 for every time & every girl I'd Analed, I'd be well bummed out. :)

      Where d'you drink Daryl? ;)
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #47: Jan 13, 2010 06:32:11 pm

       :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


      Newcastle birds are easy mate :)
      7-King Kenny-7
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #48: Jan 13, 2010 06:35:17 pm
      ^

      Just ask Cashley Cole, how else would he have got Cheryl ;)
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #49: Jan 13, 2010 06:36:14 pm
      I'm moving.
      bad boy bubby
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #50: Jan 13, 2010 06:38:12 pm

      A pub called The Busted Star, perchance?  :angel:
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #51: Jan 13, 2010 06:38:35 pm
      ^

      Just ask Cashley Cole, how else would he have got Cheryl ;)

      Marriage of convenience that 1  Ashley Cole "I'm marrying Cheryl, I can't be gay even though I was hanging out of O'Shea's arse just last week" Cheryl "I'm not racist look I married a mega rich black bloke", both parties happy.
      fletch_rox
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #52: Jan 14, 2010 10:29:00 am
      Only 110.10 but I'm only 16. Plently of time to catch up
      JD
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #53: Jan 14, 2010 01:02:43 pm
      Worse than me JD by £10.50, if thats a measuring stick for you ;D

      In that case, I'm disgusted in myself.
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #54: Jan 14, 2010 01:12:31 pm
      In that case, I'm disgusted in myself.

      And so you should be when I look at the shenanigans I've done  :lmao:  :lmao:  :lmao:

      chats
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #55: Jan 14, 2010 10:49:13 pm
      £480.10 for me.
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #56: Jan 14, 2010 11:07:32 pm
      I know a girl who got a £650-odd fine.

      And I haven't even shagged her (although to be honest I did have my chance and rejected it).
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #57: Jan 14, 2010 11:09:34 pm
      I know a girl who got a £650-odd fine.

      And I haven't even shagged her (although to be honest I did have my chance and rejected it).

      Did Rooney shag it and was she a pensioner ?
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #58: Jan 14, 2010 11:12:10 pm
      Haha. No mate. I was actually quite friendly with her and ;) kopped ;) for her one night drunk. But I got the impression she wanted a relationship at the end of the day and I didn't want that with her as I saw her more as a friend and not a girlfriend, so I didn't pursue it.

      My fingers didn't half stink the next day though ;)
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #59: Jan 14, 2010 11:15:13 pm
      My fingers didn't half stink the next day though ;)

      Pokey bum w*nk then when she fooked off. ;)
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #60: Jan 14, 2010 11:16:50 pm
      Pokey bum w*nk then when she fooked off. ;)

      There really are no depths to which you can't stoop is there? You filthy pervert ;) There's only me who's worse than you!
      crouchinho
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #61: Jan 15, 2010 09:23:42 am
      Pokey bum w*nk then when she fooked off. ;)

      Oh god thats disturbing :lmao:
      Alastair
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #62: Jan 15, 2010 11:14:15 am

      Yeah for her, bet she was sleeping ;D
      Reslivo
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #63: Jan 15, 2010 01:48:12 pm
      Couldn't figure out why this was in the Tech board, so it's getting moved to The Arkles.
      bad boy bubby
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #64: Jan 15, 2010 06:32:22 pm
      My fingers didn't half stink the next day though ;)

      Pokey bum w*nk then when she fooked off. ;)

      Oh F**k, oh F**k, oh holy F**k.....  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: .......i very nearly pished myself laughing there!

      Funniest post ever!
      RedLFCBlood
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #65: Jan 15, 2010 06:45:15 pm
      There really are no depths to which you can't stoop is there?

      I'm lower to the floor than my Grannies Nipples mate. ;D
      JD
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #66: Jan 15, 2010 08:59:11 pm
      Couldn't figure out why this was in the Tech board, so it's getting moved to The Arkles.

      That's an extra 0.25p on to your fine. ;)
      Ross
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #67: Jan 16, 2010 05:33:54 pm
      You're all a bunch of dirty tw*ts.
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #68: Jan 16, 2010 05:40:30 pm
      You're all a bunch of dirty tw*ts.

      Ross found out he's owed money.
      Ross
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #69: Jan 16, 2010 05:41:16 pm
      Pardonator?
      Gow
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #70: Jan 16, 2010 05:48:58 pm
      When you took the test.
      Ross
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #71: Jan 16, 2010 07:03:52 pm
      No lo entiendo.
      s@int
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #72: Sep 15, 2011 10:31:32 pm
      £655.1 sadly can't see me ever adding to that total now though :(
      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #73: Sep 15, 2011 10:47:59 pm
      876. Just read through it quickly. I might have to look at it again. I feel dirty
      875.10. My bad
      s@int
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #74: Sep 15, 2011 10:57:46 pm
      I am presuming you missed out on spin the bottle only because you were using it for something else at the time ?
      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #75: Sep 15, 2011 11:31:49 pm
      Rabbit? The bottle's for pouring alcohol over women. . . While they were handcuffed
      LFCexiled
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #76: Sep 15, 2011 11:53:35 pm
      755.10 (I think)

      876. Just read through it quickly. I might have to look at it again. I feel dirty
      875.10. My bad

      What (or who) have you been doing man? ;D
      s@int
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #77: Sep 15, 2011 11:55:20 pm
      755.10 (I think)

      What (or who) have you been doing man? ;D

      Pretty much anything with a pulse I would think..... and I don't think he would be too fussy about the pulse.
      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #78: Sep 15, 2011 11:57:56 pm
      Any hole's a goal. . . Allegedly
      LFCexiled
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #79: Sep 16, 2011 12:01:26 am
      Alcohol, the cause of and solution to, most of lifes little penetrations. Homer J Simpson. (ed)
      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #80: Sep 16, 2011 12:03:25 am
      And then eventually you get one of the pregnant :)
      LFCexiled
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #81: Sep 16, 2011 12:05:42 am
      And then eventually you get one of the pregnant :)

      One! I'm on number bloody 3 (that I know of).
      Roddenberry
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #82: Sep 16, 2011 12:07:06 am
      One! I'm on number bloody 3 (that I know of).

      So it's a case of next stop, The Jeremy Kyle Show: Am I Your Daddy?
      LFCexiled
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #83: Sep 16, 2011 12:10:14 am
      Only for the (that I know of) bit.

      The other 3 know who I am. I cannot be held responsible for all the woman that have used me for one thing and then just cast me aside like an empty condom.

      Women eh?

      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #84: Sep 16, 2011 12:18:15 am
      Ha ha. I couldn't afford to get three pregnant. Ever think of getting the snip
      LFCexiled
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #85: Sep 16, 2011 08:52:45 am
      Ha ha. I couldn't afford to get three pregnant. Ever think of getting the snip

      Explains why I'm constantly skint and yep, decided it was better (and less painful) to stop F***ing about. In all seriousness though they were all conceived in happy and long term relationships that eventually went awry for one reason or another.

      ;)
      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #86: Sep 16, 2011 08:56:03 am
      It's like I'm looking into the future there. Ones already costing me 200 a week
      LFCexiled
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #87: Sep 16, 2011 09:44:15 am
      It's like I'm looking into the future there. Ones already costing me 200 a week

      200 a week! You obviously sired a child of D&G, Versace etc.
      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #88: Sep 16, 2011 09:57:37 am
      200 a week! You obviously sired a child of D&G, Versace etc.
      One might say his mother is high maintenance alright.
      LFCexiled
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #89: Sep 16, 2011 04:14:59 pm
      One might say his mother is high maintenance alright.

      There's high maintenance and there's bloody paris hilton. You can feed a family of 4 on half that easy.
      racerx34
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      Re: Fines
      Reply #90: Sep 16, 2011 04:19:38 pm
      There's high maintenance and there's bloody paris hilton. You can feed a family of 4 on half that easy.

      Safe to say some people struggle to adjust after something like childbirth.
      That's a whole other story though.

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