Gerrard: 'Bust Op Rumours Are Rubbish'
Published 23:00 19/01/10
Steven Gerrard has dismissed as "fantasy" the wild rumours that Fernando Torres was having breast enhancement surgery at the weekend to give him a bigger bust than Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez.
And the Anfield captain instead maintains that while he remains totally committed to a professional relationship with Torres, he has never once said "He makes me a bit gay does our Nando. I'd shag him if he had tits."
Both manager and skipper are dismayed by the persistent speculation - that was first aired on a national radio show - which claims the players had a lover's tiff in the dressing room at half-time during the defeat by Reading in the FA Cup last week.
The rumours claimed that Gerrard wanted Torres to get a smashing pair of 38F norks, and had a showdown with Benitez and coach Mauricio Pellegrino who insisted that anything above a 36C would add to Torres' back problems. Gerrard allegedly vowed that Rafa had got it wrong. "Fat Frank has played with massive melons for years, and he's never needed an orthopaedic mattress when we've been away with England" Gerrard supposedly said.
But last night, the England midfielder set the record straight. "I'd love to know who comes up with this kind of stuff because they must have an unbelievable imagination. Nothing has happened yet, that's an absolute fact." Said Gerrard in an obvious dig at the Fact loving Spaniard.
"If anyone thinks massive jugs will unsettle either me or Nando then they're mistaken. If anything they'll bring us even closer together when we're celebrating a goal. We've all had a good laugh about how it's going to feel to have El Nino's massive Nipples rubbing on our backs." Gerrard possibly said while rubbing his inside thigh.
"The important thing now is waiting for the bandages to be removed. I'll have to be gentle with Fernando for at least 6 weeks but after that he'll be good to go. I'll whip him round to Marksys to get him fitted for some sports bras as soon as possible." Is what Gerrard could have said. He might also have wanted to take advantage of the free bra fitting service in Next.
"All the stories about me leaving are unfounded." Gerrard stated. He might have finished off that sentence with "The fans can be assured that I am doing all I can to get a new enhanced rack on Torres, and when he gets his top off, I'll show my top form off." Or then again he might not.
Next week - "Cavalieri In Cock Out Chaos"
http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Liverpool-captain-Steven-Gerrard-says-rumours-of-a-bust-up-with-Rafa-Benitez-are-rubbish-article293603.html
