Advice!

Alright.. whether there is a thread for this i do not know. But i needed to start this anyways!

So, just been on facebook chat, talkin to a good mate back home. Been awhile since we chatted, and he is someone i went to school with along with my best mate Sam. Now since i have been in the USA the last 8 months, i have chatted to my mate Sam a lot keeping in touch and stuff. When i went back for my weeks visit in September i spent half the time hanging with him (along with my other best mate) and went clubbing and then my last night there i went out to Wolfmother with him before getting hammered like old times. Really is just a great mate, done everything with him since i was 15. Clubbing, meeting girls, hooking up, messing up sh*t, everything right down to just watching a DVD.

But last few weeks i have not seen him online much, just thought he must have been busy. But then this other good mate tonight tells me that the last few weeks Sam has been dragged into some huge benders on drugs, pills and all that sh*t. One of them being a 4-5 day bender where he skipped work and just partied for 5 days straight. I'm F***ing shattered. I mean i know some don't see drugs as that badder thing, but regardless ive seen many mates go down the drain because of them and hearing he has been dragged in hurts like a knife to the heart. I have had countless great nights out with this guy, just on a good time with beers and i know the guy loves that. I know he was pretty sad when i left, and i do worry me being gone has caused him to go in a different direction 

So what do i do!!!! I wanna help somehow but i don't know what to do.. I was meant to be in bed by now but i am up and gonna probbly finish the beer i have left cos im just so shattered right now. Just wondering if anyone has any advice??

I believe you should try to get in touch with him and as a friend, advise him to keep out of it. There's nothing much you can do as you're probably at the other end of the world but you should get your's and Sam's mutual friends to help him out. Tell him to seek help or something because going down that road, ain't nice.

Remind him of the great nights he's had with you or something and tell him you don't need drugs and pills to have fun like that.

Tell him he won't regret staying out of it!

Yeah im going to write an email to him, just stating everything. How ill word it i don't yet know, but yeah. Problem is he is a very 'in the moment' guy and if someone says 'dude lets do some pills!' he'll just say 'yeah!' even knowing they aint good. I mean he did them once awhile back, like a year or so, and i saud to him then that it wasn't good and he was like yeah mate i know, i don't wanna do them. He's just finished a 3 year apprenticeship in metal fabrication as well, and if he plays his cards right he could be earning REALLY good money right now but hes F***ing it up.

Im gonna try and phone him sometime i think, just really is pissing me off this. Dunno what to do.

Cheers Adryan

That's all you can do really, Dave. Just have a word with him, mate to mate. He'll come round to his senses soon enough.

Yeah, thats what im gonna do mate. Shoot him an email, and then might give him a ring.

Thinking about it a bit more soberly, i know that if it ever got way out of control, his parents would find out and belt him out of it. His parents farm isn't far from where we lived and i know his old man pretty well, and i know if he knew he would kick it out of him well good. So im just hoping he kicks it himself, but if not, i know there is people like his parents and others that will help to get his head straight.

First of all the pair of you need to get your hair cut! 

The only thing you can do is be honest with him and tell him exactly what's on your mind - basically what you've told us. If you are good mates, then he might not take it on board at first but he'll listen to you. But try not be too hard on him. At the end of the day, he's just trying to enjoy himself for whatever reasons, who knows. And if he's a smart lad, he'll know when to tow the line. And if he is indeed going off the rails, which I guess you fear, no doubt his family will notice.

There's not much you can do bud. All you can do is tell him how you feel.

First of all the pair of you need to get your hair cut!  

The only thing you can do is be honest with him and tell him exactly what's on your mind - basically what you've told us. If you are good mates, then he might not take it on board at first but he'll listen to you. But try not be too hard on him. At the end of the day, he's just trying to enjoy himself for whatever reasons, who knows. And if he's a smart lad, he'll know when to tow the line. And if he is indeed going off the rails, which I guess you fear, no doubt his family will notice.

There's not much you can do bud. All you can do is tell him how you feel.

Yeah, i know the mans just having some fun. Worries me though is my mate that told me this said sometimes he doesn't reply to a text for a day or two or not at all just cos he is so fu**ed. But like i said, thinking about it if it gets out of hand he'll get pulled up im sure. And i am gonna tell him, i aint afraid of telling a mate if i think they are doing something they shouldn't. And hes always listened to me, so im sure he'll take it in at least.

If its his dumb c**t fat F**k of a dole bludging housemate that is into that sh*t thats dragging him down, ill tell ya right now - hes fu**ed. If i get back in july when im due to visit and that f**ker has been dragging Sambo into that sh*t, i will beat the living sh*t out of him.

Oh and lastly. The ladies love that hair mate You would not believe the amount of girls i hooked up with who found my surfy locks a turn on

Cheers for the advice though

He's only jealous mate

He's only jealous mate

Yawn.

I can't add to Kenny's advice. I reckon it'll be reet though.

Mate the best thing you can do now is call him. It would be better to speak to him in person directly it would show him that you really are concerned. As Kenny said mate I would pretty much say to him what you have told us in the opening post it would show him your genuinely concerned and are there to help.

Good luck, hope it works out.

Mate the best thing you can do now is call him. It would be better to speak to him in person directly it would show him that you really are concerned. As Kenny said mate I would pretty much say to him what you have told us in the opening post it would show him your genuinely concerned and are there to help.

Good luck, hope it works out.

Agree with Daddo mate, it'll mean more to him hearing your voice on the other end of the line.

Don't push him, just let him hear how you feel and let him make his own mind up. I'm sure he'll come around mate. There's only so much partying the body can take mate. Hopefully he wakes up one morning and realizes what he's doing to himself.

Hope all ends well mate and he's smart enough to see how much you really care.

My "advice", for what it's worth.

Sounds to me that he likes getting hammered and partying; pills or pils - it's immaterial. It would appear that his "drug of choice" has changed from Alcohol to vowels, (for now) that's all.

Times change, people move on bigv. He used to enjoy "getting hammered" with you, now he's enjoying "getting hammered" with someone else.

You may be right to be concerned, (i don't know), but when push comes to shove, if he's the bloke you think he is, he'll come out all the better for his experience.

Let him know you're thinking about him and ask him about the craic he's having in your absence - he may be very happy. Share and laugh at his tales but my advice would be is that you don't criticise or admonish him. Things will work themselves out.