The year is 2012 and 12 year old bluenose Duncan is talking to his bluenose Dad.
SON "Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the League Cup for an eighth time - are they right dad?
DAD "Yes son, it's true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way through the tournament"
SON "Why dad?"
DAD "Well in their first match....â
SON "What dad, nice easy home tie?â
DAD "Away to League 1, Exeter, pretty easy reallyâ
SON "Yeah but usually the top teams put out a reserve side and often slip up against that sort of team donât they? "
DAD "Well true son, but Liverpool put out a strong side and won comfortably".
SON âOh right, well easier next game then?â
DAD "Championship team this time, Brighton".
SON "Home"
DAD "Away again?"
SON "That doesnât sound easy?â
DAD "I guess not but they avoided the big guns in the next round too"
SON "Another League one team?â
DAD "Stoke awayâ
SON "Blimey, not the cliché wet evening game away to Stoke? ".
DAD "Yeah but they were lucky to win it!"
SON "Wasnât that when Suarez nutmegged the defender before curling it into the corner of the net?"
DAD "Well, anyway, they had Chelsea next"
SON "Home?"
DAD "Away again"
SON "Tough! Was it close?â
DAD "Ermm they missed a penalty but got 2 lucky goals".
SON "Doesnât sound that lucky. Who did they get in the Semis, easy tie?"
DAD "Man City"
SON "Man City - for crying out loud - what an easy draw - they've won nothing, Everton have won more than them".
DAD "Well they are top of the Premiership and have a squad that cost about a billion but the Red S*&$e managed to beat them away"
SON "Jesus Christ - so Liverpool beat the English Champions elect too"
DAD "Yes son, they ****** well did".
SON "So they had an easy match in the final then?"
DAD "Too right â Cardiff!"
SON âOh that IS easy!".
DAD "Well son they are going for promotion in the Championship and beat Blackburn and Unitedâs conquerors, Palace, but pretty easy, yes"
SON "So Liverpool walked it then?"
DAD "Actually no, they were 1:0 down at half time".
SON "What happened, how did Liverpool get back into the game?"
DAD "Well Liverpool finally got lucky with one of their 39 shots"
SON "39! Blimey! So what happened next - extra time?"
DAD "Yeah, and Liverpool still couldnât beat them'"
SON "Then what"
DAD "Penalties!"
SON "English teams are crap at penalties"
DAD "They were! Gerrard and Adam missed their twoâ
SON "So how come they won? Who did Liverpool have left to take penalties?"
DAD "Well, Kuyt, Downing and Johnson took their last 3".
Son: âDowning and Johnson! Didnât you say they were rubbish?!â
Dad âWell usually they are, anyway that's how Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the Carling Cup".
SON "So let's get this straight dad - Liverpool had 4 away ties, went to Stoke on a wet Wednesday and won. Beat Chelsea away, then played the most expensive team ever to be assembled.... and beat them away, before coming back from 1-0 down to beat Cardiff in the final?â
DAD "That about sums it up son"
SON "Dad?"
DAD "Yes son"
SON "Can I have a Liverpool shirt for my birthday next week, and again, can you stop calling me Duncan - I'm Stevie from now on!"
Sorry MsG. that's old and rehashed. Here is the origional. (Still have it after 5 yrs)
The year is 2007 and little bluenose Duncan is talking to his bluenose Dad.
SON âDad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the European Cup for the 5th time in 2005 â are they right dad?
DAD âYes son, itâs true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way through the tournamentâ
SON âWhy dad?â
DAD âWell in the group stages âŠ..â
SON âWhat dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and Ireland in their group?â
DAD âWell no, they had Monaco, Deportivo la Coruna, and Olympiakosâ
SON âWell they still sound like 3 easy teams to me dadâ
DAD âActually Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had won their league 7 times out of the previous 8 seasons, and Deportivo finished above the galacticos of Real Madrid in their leagueâ.
SON âJeez dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group thenâ.
DAD âyeh I suppose your right son, but they were still lucky â it took a mishit shot by Gerrard against Olympiakos to get throughâ.
SON âoh is that the goal were your hero Andy Gray goes berserk shouting âyou beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit!!!!â
DAD âyes son it isâ
SON âoh ok. Well what happened in the last 16 dad, who did they draw?â
DAD âBayer Leverkusenâ
SON âBayer who?â
DAD âExactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won their group that included Dinamo Kiev and Roma too.â
SON âbloody hell dad, they sound goodâ.
DAD âyes, I suppose youâre right sonâ
SON âso did they win on away goals or somethingâ
DAD âerrrrr, no, they won both legs 3-1 eachâ
SON âoh â well who next then dadâ
DAD âJuventusâ
SON âHow the f#ck did they get past them Dad?â
DAD âWell they did â they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw without Juve having hardly any chancesâ.
SON âwere Juve sh#t at that time â had all their decent players gone or something?â
DAD âwell actually they still had players like Del Piero, Nedved, Ibrahimovic, Thuram, and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few weeks later.â
SON âwow, they beat the Italian champions elect â which piss easy team did they get in the semi then?â
DAD âChelseaâ
SON âChelsea â for f#cks sake â what a piss easy draw â theyâve won nothing, Everton have won more than themâ.
DAD âwell that season they won the Premiership and League Cup but the Reds didnât let them score in 180 minutes of footballâ
SON âJesus Christ â so Liverpool beat the English Champions elect tooâ
DAD âyes son, they bloody well didâ.
SON âso after all that I suppose all the good teams had been knocked outâ
DAD ânot quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the finalâ
SON âno way â arenât they the 2nd most successful team in the competitionâs historyâ.
DAD âyes son they areâ
SON âso were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their good players out with injuriesâ
DAD âno â they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Kaka, Stam, Dida, Gattuso, Pirlo, and Seedorfâ.
SON âyour âavin a laffâ
DAD âit gets worse son, Milan were cruising 3-0 up at half-timeâ.
SON âwhat happened, did they have 3 men sent off in the second half â how did Liverpool get back into the game?â
DAD âno, Milan had no men sent off, the Reds scored 3 goals in 6 minutesâ
SON âagainst the best defence in Europeâ
DAD âyes!!!, against the best defence in Europeâ
SON âso what happened next - extra time?â
DAD âyes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko shot from a yardâ
SON âwhy was it lucky dad â did it hit him on the arse, nose, shoulder or somethingâ
DAD âno son, his handâ
SON âwell arenât goalies meant to save shots with their handsâ
DAD âyeah but thatâs besides the pointâ
SON âthen whatâ
DAD âpenalties!â
SON âEnglish teams are crap at penaltiesâ
DAD ânot this f#ckin time they werenât â they only missed one. And thatâs how Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the European Cupâ.
SON âbut I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say. How many was there, 5,,000 or so?â
DAD â1 million people lined the streetsâ.
SON âso letâs get this straight dad â Liverpool had 3 good teams in their group, they then knocked out a team who had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the future Premiership champions, before coming back from 3-0 down to beat the 2nd most successful club in Europe. And then the whole population of Liverpool came out to welcome them home!!!!
DAD âthat about sums it up sonâ
SON âdad?â
DAD âyes sonâ
SON âcan I have a Liverpool shirt for my birthday next week, and can you stop calling me Duncan â Iâm Stevie from now onâ