I was meant to be there, at Anfield, today. I won't be, but I'm glad a good red, Debs, is getting to use my ticket. I told her a little lie, that it was work reasons I couldn't go, but the truth is my back problems have exacerbated over the last 6 months, to the point where I can only go to work heavily medicated on painkillers and during my time off, I try not to take them, but it means I can barely leave my bedroom. Exercise has gone out the window, I've put on a lot of weight, making the issue worse. I can either lie down or stand up, sitting is so painful, for any prolonged period and like the idiot I am, I've not done enough to help myself.
Seventeen years I've had this problem, I can barely remember a pain free day, I know they've happened, rarely. It's caused other issues, I've had nerve problems and, because the pain is so severe at times, I broke my foot last year and didn't realise, because the pain was worse in my back. Today was a low for me though, not just being unable to get to the game, but I had to roll off my bed and pull myself up the headboard, then use walls to support myself, just to answer my door. It's a day off work, I try not to medicate, I've taken a days supply in 5 hours and I'm still in pain.
My thoughts are with you and yours Cas, as you go through it, again and with you Brilad and Fatkopite.
Tomorrow, I see what's next, which could be an operation that has a 50/50 chance of putting me a wheelchair, but it's a chance to live and I'm not living at the moment, I'm existing.
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