HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper
according to
lights and darks
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see husband
along
the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note
to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long
loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes
until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body
wash. Rinse
conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
in super
absorbent
towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head.
If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in
a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the
woo-woo
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the
size of
your
wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Stick head out
of shower
to
admire and laugh at it in the mirror.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of
tub the
whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass
wife,
pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound
again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Have a great day! Oh,
and.....
Woo-Woo!!!