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      The mental health thread

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      FL Red
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      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #230: May 19, 2024 10:31:20 pm
      How are you doing now? I hope things are improving for you mate.you

      I need to do something. I dont want to go back on tablets but i feel totally ... lost. Almost empty inside.

      My 8 year old son is all that keeps me going. He makes me proud. He makes me smile. But i basically spend most days in work and then the rest of the day/night in the spare room ... in silence. Thats my existence. I feel like there is just nothing left. No energy. No fight. No zest for life. Its been mentally and emotionally beaten out of me over the years. Now i just feel beaten down into silence. Its easier to just stay silent. Trying to get from one day to the next. I find it hard to be happy about anything. I feel sad all the time. It is a deep level of depression. I understand that much. Its just all a battle. A battle thats neverending but yet feels like i cant win. I feel like im on the verge of a real breakdown now. Life is a struggle isnt it.

      Tomorrow is another day. Just got to keep going. For my son, and my parents who worry about me all the time. I pretty much hide it from them. But my son, he is starting to notice. He just comes in , hugs me and tells me he loves me. Asks me to tuck him in. Thats the best parts of my day.

      Dude, football disagreements and all else aside. Please seek help!!!! You have a responsibility to your son as Iā€™m sure you are aware to be the best version of yourself that you can be. No one should have to suffer in silence. Iā€™m not sure what the protocol is outside the states as far as mental health hotlines and such but what you are describing is extreme depression and shouldnā€™t be brushed aside or taken lightly but you most likely wonā€™t be able to kick it on your own. I donā€™t know you from Adam but you deserve to not have to deal with this sort of mental anguish, I pray you can get the help you need and deserve for you and your sonā€™s sake.
      srslfc
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      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #231: May 19, 2024 10:52:12 pm
      How are you doing now? I hope things are improving for you mate.you

      I need to do something. I dont want to go back on tablets but i feel totally ... lost. Almost empty inside.

      My 8 year old son is all that keeps me going. He makes me proud. He makes me smile. But i basically spend most days in work and then the rest of the day/night in the spare room ... in silence. Thats my existence. I feel like there is just nothing left. No energy. No fight. No zest for life. Its been mentally and emotionally beaten out of me over the years. Now i just feel beaten down into silence. Its easier to just stay silent. Trying to get from one day to the next. I find it hard to be happy about anything. I feel sad all the time. It is a deep level of depression. I understand that much. Its just all a battle. A battle thats neverending but yet feels like i cant win. I feel like im on the verge of a real breakdown now. Life is a struggle isnt it.

      Tomorrow is another day. Just got to keep going. For my son, and my parents who worry about me all the time. I pretty much hide it from them. But my son, he is starting to notice. He just comes in , hugs me and tells me he loves me. Asks me to tuck him in. Thats the best parts of my day.

      I've been better last 4/5 weeks. GP proscribed some anti depressants and they do seem to be helping again. I try not to stay on them for a long time and if possible will go off once my mood is stable and any pressure from work eases.

      Have to say my bosses have been fantastic and that's helped me not to worry about things that mostly out of my control.

      Building a team again, good people working for me which is helping at work and home life I'm out every day walking, spending more time doing things I enjoy, and less time dwelling on things that bring me down.

      Hope you came get on the mend buddy
      Longy-Shops
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      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #232: May 19, 2024 11:58:42 pm
      How are you doing now? I hope things are improving for you mate.you

      I need to do something. I dont want to go back on tablets but i feel totally ... lost. Almost empty inside.

      My 8 year old son is all that keeps me going. He makes me proud. He makes me smile. But i basically spend most days in work and then the rest of the day/night in the spare room ... in silence. Thats my existence. I feel like there is just nothing left. No energy. No fight. No zest for life. Its been mentally and emotionally beaten out of me over the years. Now i just feel beaten down into silence. Its easier to just stay silent. Trying to get from one day to the next. I find it hard to be happy about anything. I feel sad all the time. It is a deep level of depression. I understand that much. Its just all a battle. A battle thats neverending but yet feels like i cant win. I feel like im on the verge of a real breakdown now. Life is a struggle isnt it.

      Tomorrow is another day. Just got to keep going. For my son, and my parents who worry about me all the time. I pretty much hide it from them. But my son, he is starting to notice. He just comes in , hugs me and tells me he loves me. Asks me to tuck him in. Thats the best parts of my day.
      Identifying your issue and reaching out is the first and most important step towards recovery. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and  remember your boy not only loves you...he needs you .....and you've already won the lottery of life in having him. Clinical depression is an illness and there is no shame or stigma that should prevent you seeking medical help. 
      Lallana in Pyjamas
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      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #233: Aug 20, 2024 10:43:16 pm
      I cut contact with her from the last time I posted and I started to get into a bit of a routine, started seeing some friends more. The pain was still there but I was getting out more.
      I have also been going to a therapist for a few weeks now.

      Last week she reached out to ask how I was doing which I thought was niceā€¦ she soon followed that up with asking for the rest of her stuff back. Arranged to give her stuff back to her on a day that suited me.
      Anyway, we met up and had a drink in a cafe and talked normally, she was laughing and everything seemed good and I thought ā€œok this is seeming ok, maybe at the end if itā€™s still like this will ask if she fancies hanging out again soonā€ā€¦. Then bam!!! She started asking if we were friends and if we would be friends no matter what and she started looking awkward and I knew exactly what she was heading towards so I asked her - ā€œis there someone else?ā€ And her reply was ā€œIā€™ve started seeing someone from workā€. I asked who because I had my suspicions and she said exactly who I thought she was going to say. She said he initiated it but theyā€™ve been on a few dates and kissedā€¦ I dread to think what else but the thought of them being together like that kills me. So I got her stuff out of my car, I put it in her car and then I said to her ā€œsee you around, look after yourselfā€ and then I got in my car and drove the f**k away from her and didnā€™t look back at her. When I was getting in the car she looked so shocked because she didnā€™t expect that. It was so damn hard but I made sure I didnā€™t fall apart in front of her, just kept my composure as best I could and got away from the situation.

      I think sheā€™s been seeing him for about 3-4 weeks but theyā€™ve been talking a lot longer than that, so it goes to show exactly what she thought of our relationship and me. I feel so betrayed as well as heart broken.

      I think heā€™s been eyeing her up for some time and people have told me heā€™s not a nice person.

      I feel like all the progress I was starting to make has put me straight back to rock bottom. My brain is killing me with the thought of them 2 together and that whilst Iā€™ve been suffering sheā€™s been off with him.

      I could happily go and beat the crap out of him but what good is that going to do?! Itā€™s only going to push her towards him more.

      The horrible thing is, despite how betrayed I feel by her, I still canā€™t help but wish we were back together.

      Has anyone heard from Kenny at all ?

      Hope you are doing ok
      Klopps Snood
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      Re: The mental health thread
      Reply #234: Aug 20, 2024 11:10:09 pm
      Has anyone heard from Kenny at all ?

      Hope you are doing ok

      Nothing for a very long time, I did send him a pm but I've not heard anything from him, I really hope he's doing alright, I do often think about him.

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