Things you would never hear Rafa say..

I'll start....

"I was wrong with my team selection and my substitutions."


Next.....

Dani Pacheco will start today

Maybe I should sell Babel, Lucas and Kuyt for funds to buy David Villa.

"I bet that Fourbrick thinks he can do a better job than me, no?"

Maybe I should sell Babel, Lucas and Kuyt for funds to buy David Villa.

I would love that to happen serious

I think we could sell all 3 easily ( babel may be a threat )

"Tom & George have handed me a transfer budget, worthy of a team challenging Domestically & in Europe"

oh &

"Montse gives good head"

oh &

"Montse gives good head"

Is that what you think Rafa would never say, or just
 general information ?

"we've been rubbish this season and we've got no-one to blame but ourselves"

"So in the end we decided to sign Villa, Silva AND Mata.. It's a lot of money but the quality they have will more than make up for it the the long term and the owners appreciate that."

"I bet that Fourbrick thinks he can do a better job than me, no?"

Its true! He wouldnt say that cause he doenst know Fourbrick!

"Today we werent controlling the game"

Lucas isn't good enough for us.

Agger is better then Carragher

Is that what you think Rafa would never say, or just
 general information ?

Being the man he is I can't ever imagine him saying that.

Lucas isn't good enough for us.

Agger is better then Carragher

I can't ever Imagine him saying such things about any payer to be honest...not exactly what you would call productive for players confidence as well as showing a lack of respect for them.

We didn't control the game. We didn't create chances. We didn't work hard. There was no quality.

I am off to Juve now, peace out and F**k off.

Lucas and Kuyt had bad games today.

I thought i got it wrong once , but i was wrong

Lucas just is'nt good enough

You've given me far too much money

'Bolton were the better team today and they deserved the three points"

"Blow me F**k face"

"Blow me F**k face"

"Supercalifragilisticexpi alidocious" - in English.

Were going out all attack today

"I have a man crush on sir alex".

I'm not thinking about the next game.

You've given me far too much money

I'm not here to talk about these things ... but F**k it, let's talk about them.

"I am happy working under George and Tom. They are not the biggest bunch of tw*ts in the world"

"I am the 'real' special one" followed by a cheeky little wink

"That drunken night with Voronin led to Lucas birth"

Jack Jingled Jill's Jollies.


You now those mediterranean types have trouble with the hard J sound.

I am not thinking about the next game because I am overwhelmed with passion and want the boys to express all their attacking abilities without the shackles of my overly defensive formation and strategies.

I envy big sam's butt buddy relationship with sir alex.

I just put doodles and funny material into my notebook for my real desire in life...to be a stand up comedian

I will listen to any good offers for Lucas

in the light of overwhelming protest against my goatie, i have decided to shave it off

I hate Liverpool...

Pacheco will get at least 30 minutes te next day   

Sir Alex is great....FACT and my hand signals actually mean something

"N'gogs cock is like a babies arm holding an apple"

"N'gogs cock is like a babies arm holding an apple"

we are happy to have signed David Villa, Silva and Arshavin. We still have money left to buy Kaka, Ronaldinho and a few others

'Sir' Alex Ferguson

Hello ladies and gentleman, tonight i will be giving a speech about life contribution to football award winner " sir alex ferguson"

"I had a round of golf with Craig Bellamy"

Kuyt is my long lost son. I need to play him in every game no matter what.

Kuyt is my long lost son. I need to play him in every game no matter what.

Good job he has been playing though.

Or who would have scored?

Not really something he wouldn't say but he would never bi*ch slap someone when he really gets angry. That would be brilliant to see.

Journo: So Rafa,  that wasn't a good result was it?

Rafa: For sure we were...

Journo abruptly interrupts: You's were nothing Rafa

Rafa:..........*bi*ch slap*

Today we will practice man to man marking

Me ......make notes in the game.......never.

'I'm not really taking notes, Sammy and I are playing Hangman to relieve our boredom"

"Dear Sir Alex Ferguson is such a cute little teddy bear".

"We are not going to mark zonally today, as I have noticed we concede too many goals this way. no?"

...I am going to play three up front and attack, attack, attack.

"I expect 20 goals from Carragher this season"

Wanna come round for some scran Fergie laaa?

I'm off to Juventus

Ill have a few tins of tenants chilling for me arl pal Moyesey after the game

There are two great sides in Liverpool, Everton and Tranmere.

We expect Rafa wud nver say:"I wish one of those internet managers took my place. Then before, during and after every game I would go and whine about their every decision and say what I would have done. I wud say they attack too much and shud've been more careful. No one thought of this, eh? Never did it to me!"
"Let the first who has never been a coward, who has never muzzled the best strikers and told them to keep clean sheets, throw the first stone. Jose, you're first, throw quick, Sir Manic is waiting!"
(But I can't complain of the players he bought. Just feel stifled by z@fear o'conceding. chelsick&mancheaters can do it coz of bought refs2give'em the fouls zé need)

"I often use a secret email address to put my request for the FAN-tasy stories from the band of Prince Volkyvorta—u know, I tell'em to write what would happen if we had a big-mouth manager, if Liverpool went all out, if so&so owned Liverpool and managed it forcefully, if every1 shouted at refs like Torres, if the fans punished the ref&the board, if they threw bottles and invaded the pitch. Zen they send me the story and tell me no need to publish it, keep it 4urself."
"I have a 200-page file of Sir manic quotes".
"I have buddies in the FA and the League. Watch'm get u! N yeah, my journo pimps, Andy, Stan, Hansen, Lawrenson- and all o'ye, make sure u tell everyone how my team CAN cheat, refs protect me, the FA kowtow to me, and HOW NO ONE can do anything about it! Uh, don't tell'em that fans of old would riot & lynch, just tell'em they're impotent."

N finally "I wish our fans brought bottles to throw instead of beachballs. I wish to make Anfield a real bastion of invincibility. For that, I urge the fans to do everything that Prince Volkyvorta and his hooligan mates preach, to terrorize refs, journo-whores and everyone who just likes football instead of being true Liverpool fans. N I wish I knew where Prince Volkvyvorta is since he's disappeared, he's the Greatest fanatic ever."
I'm looking4ward for, Things Sir Manic wud nver say, SteveBruce fathead, Mourinho, Wenger (I didn't see it)

"I've had enough of this crap"

"im going to have a look on LFCReds.com and see what players the fans want to start the games"

"F**k this, im off to Italy"

"arent them americans a right bunch of wan*ers?"

We expect Rafa wud nver say:"I wish one of those internet managers took my place. Then before, during and after every game I would go and whine about their every decision and say what I would have done. I wud say they attack too much and shud've been more careful. No one thought of this, eh? Never did it to me!"
"Let the first who has never been a coward, who has never muzzled the best strikers and told them to keep clean sheets, throw the first stone. Jose, you're first, throw quick, Sir Manic is waiting!"
(But I can't complain of the players he bought. Just feel stifled by z@fear o'conceding. chelsick&mancheaters can do it coz of bought refs2give'em the fouls zé need)

"I often use a secret email address to put my request for the FAN-tasy stories from the band of Prince Volkyvorta—u know, I tell'em to write what would happen if we had a big-mouth manager, if Liverpool went all out, if so&so owned Liverpool and managed it forcefully, if every1 shouted at refs like Torres, if the fans punished the ref&the board, if they threw bottles and invaded the pitch. Zen they send me the story and tell me no need to publish it, keep it 4urself."
"I have a 200-page file of Sir manic quotes".
"I have buddies in the FA and the League. Watch'm get u! N yeah, my journo pimps, Andy, Stan, Hansen, Lawrenson- and all o'ye, make sure u tell everyone how my team CAN cheat, refs protect me, the FA kowtow to me, and HOW NO ONE can do anything about it! Uh, don't tell'em that fans of old would riot & lynch, just tell'em they're impotent."

N finally "I wish our fans brought bottles to throw instead of beachballs. I wish to make Anfield a real bastion of invincibility. For that, I urge the fans to do everything that Prince Volkyvorta and his hooligan mates preach, to terrorize refs, journo-whores and everyone who just likes football instead of being true Liverpool fans. N I wish I knew where Prince Volkvyvorta is since he's disappeared, he's the Greatest fanatic ever."
I'm looking4ward for, Things Sir Manic wud nver say, SteveBruce fathead, Mourinho, Wenger (I didn't see it)

Am I the only one who's exhausted trying to read all that?

Am I the only one who's exhausted trying to read all that?

No but I'm hoping it well send me to sleep , because I can't work out whether it's Insomnia I'm suffering from or the missus snoring but I've been tossing and turning for the best part of two hours and when I got tempted to to stick the pillow over her face, It was time to get up

"When I count to ten Darryl you will sleep", please Rafa turn up at my door like Paul Mackenna

" im relishing the prospect of linking up with momo sissoko again at Juve"

"Were going to win today, I can feel it in my balls"

i support to RAFA,LIVERPOOL FC can do it!

"Were going to win today, I can feel it in Kuyt's balls"  

Am I the only one who's exhausted trying to read all that?

Nope. 

I lived in Jibber for 7 years RK and became quite fluent in the lingo (especially after a 1ltr of Jack) but redhand speaks a dialect i ain't familiar with. 

"Come back Pako!"

"Come back Pako!"

Don't think we'll ever hear him say "Welcome back LFC-Red, how was your ban ?", I know I've been there myself  

Don't think we'll ever hear him say "Welcome back LFC-Red, how was your ban ?", I know I've been there myself  

 

Am I the only one who's exhausted trying to read all that?

Didnt bother myself too much in there for a quick flick through all the posts

Back on toic of things Rafa wont say

LUCas! I am your father...

"Come back Pako!"

I think that really is one that we're never going to hear!!

'Why aren't my tactic's working, when I make my change on 65mins on Football manager, it always swings the game my way!'

We intend to attack

its well unfair all these 'we intend to attack comments'

Haven't been banging in as many as last season but we've had nando out for god knows how many games and gerrards been missing too.

We scored sh*t loads last season so its unfair to say Rafa is negative etc.

"I love my tongue up Montse's bum"

”Fancy a bum Man on man action“

"I love my tongue up Montse's bum"

pur-leeese

 

I'll start....

"I was wrong with my team selection and my substitutions."


Next.....

Spot on there!! I  think you could add " I'm going to start making substitutions when they still have time to change a game "   

I've got the backing off the owners for the summer transfer window